a little humour in the morning! | Sphynxlair

a little humour in the morning!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by holly_savage, May 21, 2010.

  1. holly_savage

    holly_savageBanned

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    One of my coworkers forwarded this email to me this am and I thought I would share. Ihad read some of it before, but there was some new stuff...everyone needs a good laugh on the Friday before the weekend (long-weekend for us Cannucks!) Yay!




    FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

    The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

    Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required..

    The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

    Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


    TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

    (1) They live here. You don't.
    (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
    (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people..
    (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

    Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    (1) eat less,
    (2) don't ask for money all the time,
    (3) are easier to train,
    (4) normally come when called,
    (5) never ask to drive the car,
    (6) don't smoke or drink,
    (7) don't want to wear your clothes,
    (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
    (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
    (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...
     

  2. MissMySphynxBoys

    MissMySphynxBoysGold Lairian Notable Member

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    Loved this! Thanks for sharing the laughter.
     
  3. ckutkuhn7

    ckutkuhn7Banned

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    So funny - thanks for the laugh!
     
  4. gizmo6370

    gizmo6370Banned

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    Great one :LOL::LOL:
     
  5. LLevenson

    LLevensonLairian

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    this is one of my faves! especially the part about "if they get pregnant you can sell their children" :LOL::BigSmile::LOL::Impish:
     
  6. Jinxlover

    JinxloverGuest

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  7. dreaming_in_colour

    dreaming_in_colourBanned

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    I love this! Thank you for sharing!
     
  8. admin

    adminAdministrator Staff Member

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    great!!:LOL::LOL:
     
  9. Gadzukz

    GadzukzV.I.P Lairian V.I.P Lairian

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    Ha! I am stealing it and forwarding it to friends, thanks for the laugh!
     
  10. ilovemysphynx

    ilovemysphynxAdministrator Staff Member

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    :LOL::LOL::LOL:Heck I am printing it and hanging it on the front door for my mother!!:Laugh:
     
  11. jovanna

    jovannaSenior Lairian Senior Lairian

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    Love it! Thanks for sharing!
     
  12. TanyaT

    TanyaTV.I.P Lairian V.I.P Lairian

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    Thats great! Thanks for sharing!!