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At wits end with kids.....

TanyaT

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:Angry::Angry::Angry::Angry:

I am so angry!!! We took the girls (5) to Bush Gardens today. We were also going to go to a friends house for a new years party. Well the kids decided to not clean up, make a mess of the house, break glasses you name it they did it or didnt do it! So now we are not going!!! This is the second time we have attemted to go to a friends house for a party and the last minute the kids do the unthinkable and we end up not going!
I am so angry with them!!!!

Ok so I have 5 girls ages 14,13,9,2 and 1. the 2 oldest homeschool on the internet and the 9 yr old goes to school. My husband works over fulltime hrs and I am a Realtor. Well this past month I have not been working because of the kids, when I am gone nothing gets done, the house is trashed, they dont even do their school work. So I have come to realize that I have to send them back to school(which I dont like at all!!) But I wont be able to work. We just bought a house and I really need to work or else we will be in a sinking boat!! I have tried eveything with these girls! Allowance, grounding,taking everything away. I just dont know what else to do!!!

Well thanks for letting me vent!! Any insight?
 

havingalook

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I have 5 kids too (15, 10, 4, 3 and1) both boys and girls.

They have set, age appropriate chores, the toddlers (are learning to) put their toys away, the 10yr old puts his laundry away and tidies his room etc. The 15yr old is learning basic cooking/ laundry etc, not so that he can do all the chores, but so that he has the life skills to cope when he moves out/ goes to college. But it does get a little messy/ chaotic here sometimes. :LOL:

Things sometimes get broke and drinks get tipped over (and thats just my clumsiness never mind the kids :LOL:) so I understand the frustration.


Who looks after the girls when your at work? It might be worth looking into getting a cleaner in once a week, to keep ontop of the main housework. It might cost a little but it's not as expensive as giving up your job and would help you be more relaxed at home. Even if she came in a couple of hours a week it would solve the heavy cleaning, vacuuming etc and you and your husband can keep on top of the little things (supper, washing dishes etc)

If your 9yr old is starting school, would it be worth considering sending your eldest two as well? At least you'll know they are doing their school work then.

I hope you decided to go to your friends party after all, or had a nice family evening in.
 
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I like to think I am not far from my early teen years myself -crack-, all I can say is maybe take everything away for.. ever? Sell it? Or try sitting them down and asking why they're choosing to make things difficult for you? Orrr.. you could try the "let things pile up until your house looks unlivable" technique (does not work on boys or men LOL) to 1. show them how much of a mess they make and 2. MAKE them do what they need to do?

You could always threaten them with mace, but Im pretty sure that may be illegal.
(Im kidding Im kidding, dry sense of humor..)
 

Cathie

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I only have 2 kids, 16 & 12. But they have been washing, drying and puting away their own clothes since they were about 8. Both are cooking dinner, washing dishes, feeding and cleaning up after the animals (remember I have horses). I have had trouble with my son (16) in the past few years. He is a teenager. But he is learning that when we say something, we are not just talking to hear ourselves. He could have gotten his drivers permit last year. He finally got it this year........ He didn't like the school he was at, so he quit going, now he is a year behind his friends.
They wil come around. My kids learned if they want to eat before bedtime (8pm) they better learn to cook. My husband and I don't get off at "normal" times, so we eat late. If they want to eat, they better cook it. If they want clean clothes, they better do it themselves. Yes sometimes they go to school stinking because they didn't want to wash their clothes. I figure they will get tired of their friends telling them they stink, and will do something about it.
Just my 2 cents
Cathie
 

TanyaT

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Thanks everyone! We did stay home. The girls cleaned up and went to bed early no TV!!

We have assigned chores with/without allowance and they get done for a week or so then they dont do it anymore. I pretty much have to constantly tell them what to do. I feel like the older ones are old enough to not have to be told what to do. We have sat down with them and asked them if they would rather me stay home and not beable to do fun things and ofcourse they say no we want you to work. But then I go to work,take them places, buy them things and all I get in return are headaches!!!! I have tried to let things pile up but I just get so aggrevated that I have to tell them because I cant stand the mess. I tell them about how I was raised and my mother would walk behind me and check every inch of what I dusted to make sure I didnt miss any. They are glad I am not like that. But I almost wish I was cuz maybe they would be better behaved.

Well I certainly hope things turn around cuz I am constantly thinking of my kids and doing things for them that I dont do much for me and feel bad when I do do something for myself! I know I shouldnt but I do!! Thanks again everyone!!!
 

havingalook

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I pretty much have to constantly tell them what to do.
That's my 10yr old. It just seems to go in one ear and out the other, with him. It gets to the point that I feel like a broken record on repeat. :Dizzy:

I hope it helped to vent. Hugs to you.
 

ilovemysphynx

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We only have 2 kids boy 14 and girl 11 I can get crazy but you have to stick to your guns all the time. My husband works full time and I work A little more than part time, I am only 2 seconds from home when at work and both the kids schools are 1/2 block away, they walk too and from. They have to come home and do home work after school, they put away there awn laundry and and set and clear the table every night. Our son cuts the grass and daughter pulls weeds. They also take the garbage out on garbage nights. If any of this is not done then they can not do any thing they want to do. They do fight about who does more and who is stupid ect. but they are kids. Things do get broken and somedays they hate each other but it is what it is! In the end they get it and are pretty good kids. I am sure you have great kids too and had A bad day yesterday, I am sure it is not the first and will not be the last, just keep your head up and A smile on your face, and heck girl go do something nice for your self and do not feel guilty! You raise 5 girls and deserve it very much!
 

TanyaT

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Yup they are very good kids! Just gets very tiresome having to reapeat repeat and repeat.:ThumbsDown:

Going to the gym is for myself and I will go tomorrow. :ThumbsUp:
 
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