ninnifer
Lairian
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2011
- Messages
- 17
- Points
- 14
:cat:
It is with such a heavy heart and soul that I reach out to you this evening.... Knowing that you will understand the depth of love these little angels evoke in our hearts. Our little 5 1/2 year-old Gandhi is very sick, and we fear not going to be with us for much longer. And we want to do right by him.
After finally learning that I could not bear my own children, we brought Gandhi into our lives, having read-up on what bonded ties these cats make with their humans. And to be able to hold onto my very own baby with real skin-to-skin contact! What a joy! And to see this little animal jump for joy when he greeted me at the door each day, and feel his little paw on mine in the middle of the night. I prayed for a loving being to be brought into our lives, and Gandhi has been more than I could have ever wished for. I never knew there could flow such love btwn a human and an animal. My husband and I love him as much as the universe is vast.
But after months of intermittent fevers, one as high as 106 F, decreasing appetite and off-and-on sneezing bouts, all of which were none too serious except for their lack of resolution, Gandhi has been feeling pretty awful for the better part of this last week. Neither our local vet or professor vets at UC Davis Vet Hospital can tell us w certainty what is going on, except that he has extremely enlarged lymph nodes all over his body, lesions?/tumors?/thickening of the walls of his intestines, shady-looking spleen (lymphoma? Not "typical" though); a galloping heartbeat (HCM?); and now is showing signs of balance-loss, falling, and even had what looked like a seizure Sunday, passing out after looking off into space and repeated paw-paddling in the air while my husband held him on his side. Blood work showed electrolytes and sugar levels ok. He has a biopsy tomorrow at UCDavis of digestive tract to test for FIP.... In the meantime, he's not eating, at all. No longer sleeps with us. He has his own "bed" in our bed, and we have spent only a handful of nights apart (during overseas trips) ever.
My heart is breaking. My husband's heart is breaking. We love our baby boy oh soooooo much. We have decided we will not let him suffer if there is no possibility of treatment. We just did not expect this at such an early age. We know he was brought to us by grace, and he will be taken when he is called. It is just so so so so hard to accept that we soon may not be able to reach out to kiss our little angel again. We know he is more than his physical body, and that we will be reunited again. We will just miss those beautiful wrinkles, morning boogery-eyes, fuzzy forehead, quivering tail when he's happier than words can say, swollen "cheeks" and slapping tail when he's feeling frisky and ready to pounce, and the acrobatic antics out-of-nowhere "joie de vivre" he has helped us remember is the birthright of each of us.
The love space he created in our hearts is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever known.
Thank you for hearing me
After finally learning that I could not bear my own children, we brought Gandhi into our lives, having read-up on what bonded ties these cats make with their humans. And to be able to hold onto my very own baby with real skin-to-skin contact! What a joy! And to see this little animal jump for joy when he greeted me at the door each day, and feel his little paw on mine in the middle of the night. I prayed for a loving being to be brought into our lives, and Gandhi has been more than I could have ever wished for. I never knew there could flow such love btwn a human and an animal. My husband and I love him as much as the universe is vast.
But after months of intermittent fevers, one as high as 106 F, decreasing appetite and off-and-on sneezing bouts, all of which were none too serious except for their lack of resolution, Gandhi has been feeling pretty awful for the better part of this last week. Neither our local vet or professor vets at UC Davis Vet Hospital can tell us w certainty what is going on, except that he has extremely enlarged lymph nodes all over his body, lesions?/tumors?/thickening of the walls of his intestines, shady-looking spleen (lymphoma? Not "typical" though); a galloping heartbeat (HCM?); and now is showing signs of balance-loss, falling, and even had what looked like a seizure Sunday, passing out after looking off into space and repeated paw-paddling in the air while my husband held him on his side. Blood work showed electrolytes and sugar levels ok. He has a biopsy tomorrow at UCDavis of digestive tract to test for FIP.... In the meantime, he's not eating, at all. No longer sleeps with us. He has his own "bed" in our bed, and we have spent only a handful of nights apart (during overseas trips) ever.
My heart is breaking. My husband's heart is breaking. We love our baby boy oh soooooo much. We have decided we will not let him suffer if there is no possibility of treatment. We just did not expect this at such an early age. We know he was brought to us by grace, and he will be taken when he is called. It is just so so so so hard to accept that we soon may not be able to reach out to kiss our little angel again. We know he is more than his physical body, and that we will be reunited again. We will just miss those beautiful wrinkles, morning boogery-eyes, fuzzy forehead, quivering tail when he's happier than words can say, swollen "cheeks" and slapping tail when he's feeling frisky and ready to pounce, and the acrobatic antics out-of-nowhere "joie de vivre" he has helped us remember is the birthright of each of us.
The love space he created in our hearts is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever known.
Thank you for hearing me