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Gone too soon

Lukassmile

Lairian
Joined
Sep 8, 2018
Messages
142
Points
71
What a weird and heartbreaking year It has been. I’m sure many people here can relate to this year being one of the most challenging mentally and emotionally in recent memory.

after losing my job(teaching) in march due to the pandemic, I subsequently lost my apartment, and ended a relationship with my partner. being located in NYC, there is no apartment affordable for the measly unemployment that was being offered by whomever is in charge of that stuff.

reguardless, I’ve had to relocate back to my hometown in East TN. My kitty, Bonks, which I had briefly shared here (a Sphynx and Persian cross) was the only constant I had, and a real piece of work he was. Never loud or needy. Not picky about his food. Always used the litter box. barely acknowledged my presence unless he was attacking my feet as I slept, or destroying my plants. I loved that little sh*t

When I moved back last month I made the decision, after many many many attempts to keep him inside, to allow him to become ruler of the yard. He basically made the decision for me. I had never seen him so happy. I could see satisfaction on his face after a long day exploring. He would finally sleep through the night so deep. It was like a new cat.

last week my worst nightmare became reality. I let him out in the morning and watched him chase grasshoppers while I sat on the porch and drank my coffee. In two seconds he sprinted into the road after a grasshopper as a gigantic black truck going what seemed like 80 miles an hour flew by. It was horrible and something I’ll never ever be able to erase from my memory.

he taught be a lot about being a “Pet” “owner” and I will always be grateful for that. Gone too soon Bonks Boy.

my friend wrote a poem for me and him I would like to share. It helped me grieve and it might help someone else in a similar situation.

“In the autumn
Under a molten sky a small sentient being is struck down while playing in the road

Does he feel pain, does he feel fear, does he feel confusion as the vehicle that ends his life as he now knows it comes upon him?

He feels none of these things. Instead he feels a sense of wonderment and joy, for suddenly he can fly

My my, said the little cat as he sailed into a golden light so pure and gentle that he feels free of the bondage of his tiny body

I am so big now, said the little cat, for now I am one with all the universe

Sailing on through the firmament, he goes ever higher and lands on a cloud which rocks him back and forth, while all around him are twinkling stars

And all is bliss except for one thing.....the little cat misses his earthly person

this person is filled with sad longing for his little friend and there us weeping in the night

My, my said the little cat, we cannot be having this, so he begins to fashion himself a new body with which to. Return to his person

All at once there is a rainbow made of love and forgiveness
In colors of red, like poppies in the springtime, and lavender, and palest yellow,

The little cat tread carefully at first. After all , he had no need of a body any longer

Finally, unable to restrain him self any longer, his spirit skipped down the colors of the rainbow, and when the little cat saw the beautiful planet earth he took one giant leap and landed next to his person, don't cry, he said.....I am here and will never leave you again

His person turned in his sleep and felt warmth settled around his heart and he settled into the embrace of the now invisible cat, who held him through all his days. While the autumn breezes rustled the curtains and a light which could only be seen from within and the whole room seemed to purr.....”
 

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JessicaRosexo

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Oct 2, 2018
Messages
675
Points
198
This must of been so heartbreaking for you, I agree to this year being a challenge I lost my boy 5 months ago to Heart disease.
It’s the worst year possible and I wish it would just end!
The verse is beautiful aswell, thoughts are with you❤️
 

Beckinboots

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
1,999
Points
318
I'm so sorry for your loss and the crappy year you've had. I hope your heartache eases soon and things start to look up for you. RIP little Bonks.
 

Lukassmile

Lairian
Joined
Sep 8, 2018
Messages
142
Points
71
Thank you all for your words❤️

you will be seeing more of me around here. Right now it seems crazy to consider a new cat but I have put my name on a few breeders list with the expectation that by the time they get around to me I’ll be ready for some companionship. And Sphynx cannot be outside so I will not ever have to experience this again!
 

Yoda mom

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
26,190
Points
653
((squeeze hugs))) so very very sorry for your devastating heartache of the loss your your sweet Bonks. Remember the Love, so much love.
fly free at the bridge sweet Bonks. prayers to you for strength and peace during this most heartfelt year. Rest in Love sweet Bonks.
 

Lukassmile

Lairian
Joined
Sep 8, 2018
Messages
142
Points
71
Thank you again to everyone who has commented, this community is filled with so many full and generous souls.
I have put in applications to a few nearby Sphynx Catteries nearby (TN). Maybe by the time they have a litter available I will be in the right headspace to move on!

that being said In the meantime.... what do I take care of!?
 

JessicaRosexo

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Oct 2, 2018
Messages
675
Points
198
Thank you again to everyone who has commented, this community is filled with so many full and generous souls.
I have put in applications to a few nearby Sphynx Catteries nearby (TN). Maybe by the time they have a litter available I will be in the right headspace to move on!

that being said In the meantime.... what do I take care of!?
Yourself!
Give yourself time to heal❤️
 
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