Lukassmile
Lairian
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2018
- Messages
- 142
- Points
- 71
What a weird and heartbreaking year It has been. I’m sure many people here can relate to this year being one of the most challenging mentally and emotionally in recent memory.
after losing my job(teaching) in march due to the pandemic, I subsequently lost my apartment, and ended a relationship with my partner. being located in NYC, there is no apartment affordable for the measly unemployment that was being offered by whomever is in charge of that stuff.
reguardless, I’ve had to relocate back to my hometown in East TN. My kitty, Bonks, which I had briefly shared here (a Sphynx and Persian cross) was the only constant I had, and a real piece of work he was. Never loud or needy. Not picky about his food. Always used the litter box. barely acknowledged my presence unless he was attacking my feet as I slept, or destroying my plants. I loved that little sh*t
When I moved back last month I made the decision, after many many many attempts to keep him inside, to allow him to become ruler of the yard. He basically made the decision for me. I had never seen him so happy. I could see satisfaction on his face after a long day exploring. He would finally sleep through the night so deep. It was like a new cat.
last week my worst nightmare became reality. I let him out in the morning and watched him chase grasshoppers while I sat on the porch and drank my coffee. In two seconds he sprinted into the road after a grasshopper as a gigantic black truck going what seemed like 80 miles an hour flew by. It was horrible and something I’ll never ever be able to erase from my memory.
he taught be a lot about being a “Pet” “owner” and I will always be grateful for that. Gone too soon Bonks Boy.
my friend wrote a poem for me and him I would like to share. It helped me grieve and it might help someone else in a similar situation.
“In the autumn
Under a molten sky a small sentient being is struck down while playing in the road
Does he feel pain, does he feel fear, does he feel confusion as the vehicle that ends his life as he now knows it comes upon him?
He feels none of these things. Instead he feels a sense of wonderment and joy, for suddenly he can fly
My my, said the little cat as he sailed into a golden light so pure and gentle that he feels free of the bondage of his tiny body
I am so big now, said the little cat, for now I am one with all the universe
Sailing on through the firmament, he goes ever higher and lands on a cloud which rocks him back and forth, while all around him are twinkling stars
And all is bliss except for one thing.....the little cat misses his earthly person
this person is filled with sad longing for his little friend and there us weeping in the night
My, my said the little cat, we cannot be having this, so he begins to fashion himself a new body with which to. Return to his person
All at once there is a rainbow made of love and forgiveness
In colors of red, like poppies in the springtime, and lavender, and palest yellow,
The little cat tread carefully at first. After all , he had no need of a body any longer
Finally, unable to restrain him self any longer, his spirit skipped down the colors of the rainbow, and when the little cat saw the beautiful planet earth he took one giant leap and landed next to his person, don't cry, he said.....I am here and will never leave you again
His person turned in his sleep and felt warmth settled around his heart and he settled into the embrace of the now invisible cat, who held him through all his days. While the autumn breezes rustled the curtains and a light which could only be seen from within and the whole room seemed to purr.....”
after losing my job(teaching) in march due to the pandemic, I subsequently lost my apartment, and ended a relationship with my partner. being located in NYC, there is no apartment affordable for the measly unemployment that was being offered by whomever is in charge of that stuff.
reguardless, I’ve had to relocate back to my hometown in East TN. My kitty, Bonks, which I had briefly shared here (a Sphynx and Persian cross) was the only constant I had, and a real piece of work he was. Never loud or needy. Not picky about his food. Always used the litter box. barely acknowledged my presence unless he was attacking my feet as I slept, or destroying my plants. I loved that little sh*t
When I moved back last month I made the decision, after many many many attempts to keep him inside, to allow him to become ruler of the yard. He basically made the decision for me. I had never seen him so happy. I could see satisfaction on his face after a long day exploring. He would finally sleep through the night so deep. It was like a new cat.
last week my worst nightmare became reality. I let him out in the morning and watched him chase grasshoppers while I sat on the porch and drank my coffee. In two seconds he sprinted into the road after a grasshopper as a gigantic black truck going what seemed like 80 miles an hour flew by. It was horrible and something I’ll never ever be able to erase from my memory.
he taught be a lot about being a “Pet” “owner” and I will always be grateful for that. Gone too soon Bonks Boy.
my friend wrote a poem for me and him I would like to share. It helped me grieve and it might help someone else in a similar situation.
“In the autumn
Under a molten sky a small sentient being is struck down while playing in the road
Does he feel pain, does he feel fear, does he feel confusion as the vehicle that ends his life as he now knows it comes upon him?
He feels none of these things. Instead he feels a sense of wonderment and joy, for suddenly he can fly
My my, said the little cat as he sailed into a golden light so pure and gentle that he feels free of the bondage of his tiny body
I am so big now, said the little cat, for now I am one with all the universe
Sailing on through the firmament, he goes ever higher and lands on a cloud which rocks him back and forth, while all around him are twinkling stars
And all is bliss except for one thing.....the little cat misses his earthly person
this person is filled with sad longing for his little friend and there us weeping in the night
My, my said the little cat, we cannot be having this, so he begins to fashion himself a new body with which to. Return to his person
All at once there is a rainbow made of love and forgiveness
In colors of red, like poppies in the springtime, and lavender, and palest yellow,
The little cat tread carefully at first. After all , he had no need of a body any longer
Finally, unable to restrain him self any longer, his spirit skipped down the colors of the rainbow, and when the little cat saw the beautiful planet earth he took one giant leap and landed next to his person, don't cry, he said.....I am here and will never leave you again
His person turned in his sleep and felt warmth settled around his heart and he settled into the embrace of the now invisible cat, who held him through all his days. While the autumn breezes rustled the curtains and a light which could only be seen from within and the whole room seemed to purr.....”