I lost my sweet boy Finn early Monday morning to what was most likely a pulmonary embolism. He and I had been fighting for his life for over 6 years after her was diagnosed with Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia (IMHA) at 10 months old. Since this past October, we had been having trouble keeping his red blood cell count regulated. But beyond being a bit sluggish, there were no other symptoms. In the few days leading up to his passing he began breathing a bit more rapidly when he would exert himself. This was attributed to his low red cell count because less red cells meant less oxygen being circulated in his body. The day before he passed, his breathing became more labored. I had him at the vet's office first thing in the morning. Chest radiographs, blood tests (minus his red cell count) and his physical examination were all unremarkable. They showed nothing abnormal. Again, low red blood cell count, combined with the high dosage of steroids that he was taking to attempt to regulate him, were suspected as the culprit. The plan was to wean him off the steroid to a lower dose to see if his breathing would improve. Unfortunately, he just continued to decline and we had him back at the vet the next afternoon. He never made it home and I am beyond devastated. While I know that I did everything that I could for him while battling his IMHA all these years, those last 48 hours are going to haunt me for a long while. I try to tell myself that I did the best I could for him with the information that I had, but I still can't help feeling that I failed him at the end. Beyond that guilt, I just miss him terribly. He was my heart kitty. I haven't had a decent nights sleep since he's been gone because Finn was my snuggle buddy. I cry every night before I fall asleep and again first thing when I wake up because the reality hits me like a ton of bricks that he's no longer here. It's also heartbreaking to see Jezebel all alone. I miss there being two lumps under the covers and watching them follow each other around. They were such a bonded pair. Jezebel is also a bit out of sorts. She's been wandering around the house meowing and looking for him, as well as being super clingy to me and excessively grooming herself. Her anxiousness just adds another layer to my sadness. Hopefully we will both heal in time. Here are a few pictures of my beautiful boy. Fly high with the angels my baby. I love you.