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Gotcha day gone wrong/questions HELP!

HybridSphynx

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So i told everyone i would post pics of my gotcha day and how everything went. Well i only got a few.... things did not go well.

I did receive Illusion but as i feared she hates my guts and she does not like my boyfriend.
she growls at us if we pick her up to do her nails (we just did them and i had to have my boyfriend hold her back legs since she would not hold still and kept trying to defend herself since the breeder doesnt clip their back claws, not sure if this is right but okay and no we did not clip her back claws because i'm not sure if i should) Then my mom picked her up (shes not a fan of the sphynx at all) and Illusiion was fine no growling, no trying to get away, then i picked her back up and she growled again at me.

Please if you have any advice, i will gladly listen, I'm on the verge of calling the breeder and telling her to come get Illusion because Illusion does not like me and that im not sure if we are a good fit. I know i shouldnt expect her to like me right off the bat, shes friendly but if i even try and do anything with her that is not her call she will growl at me, and she tries to get away.
But here is my gotcha day story:

"We left at 12:30 pm the day before Gotcha day, we had a 3 hour drive from Emmett, Idaho to Pendleton, Oregon. At 4:40 we arrived at Motel 6, to find that the Pendleton Motel 6 allows pets to stay free, wifi is not free, its 2.99 per 24 hours. I was okay with that. We had a great day but stayed in due to not enough hours in the day to do anything then decided it was dinner time then ordered Abby's Legendary Pizza in Pendleton. They are a good pizza place, not to spendy and food is great. I was shocked but so glad that it all tasted good.

We ordered a mini pizza and 14 honey bbq wings they were delish and very filling. However then after WWE Raw we decided that we needed to go to walmart for some personal Hygiene stuff mostly my part I forgot to pack my body wash, shampoo and conditioner LOL!. We finally dozed off at 12:00 pm and woke up the next morning at 8:00 am. We ended up going to Wild horse Casino and resort for an awesome filling breakfast of Traditonal Platter (pancake, eggs, sausage) and a Spanish Omelet with a biscuit. then went to some stores and picked up a few things. Then got back to the hotel at 10:30 am and we planned to leave at 11:45 in the afternoon, little did we know how bad of an idea that was.

The breeder had previously told me she cant meet me anywhere on the 8th (gotcha day) but she would be home to meet and greet and show me how to do stuff and all that. So we went All the way to Tacoma, Washington at 11:45 after stocking up on ice and gas, we hit about 6 waves of traffic jams on the way to Tacoma, Washington. Our GPS decided to tell my boyfriend to turn right at an opening that we were not supposed to turn on so we ended up losing time to that as well. We finally arrived at the breeder's house at 6:00 pm (2 hours later than what when we were expected to arrive) , we were tired and stressed already from the trip and traffic jams, but we kept our cool and chilled out at the breeders house as nice as she was she offered us drinks and stuff. We planned to be back before 11 pm to get some rest for the trip home the next day but apparently someone else had other things in mind.

I got taught how to clip Illusions nails, and clean her ears with a Q-tip. Then we chatted with her husband and her for a few minutes and left at 6:30 pm.
no traffic jams for the ride home EXCEPT an actual 1 or 2 hour stop at 8:30 pm at a bridge because of a blasting zone. People were out of their cars just killing time and we just sat there talking to Illusion who was happily talking back. we were good, and finally we began moving, we drove home for 3 more hours and it was a long three hours especially when your bladder starts acting up, multiple times no less. 1 hour away from the motel Illusion began to yowl, and howl, and meow. We were stressed and I wasn't sure what to do. we figured if we just ignored it and told her how far we were everything would be fine. It wasn't....
We finally arrived back at the motel, at 12:44 pm. we packed our stuff to leave immediately in the morning at 6:30 am to be back home 2 hours before a concert with our favorite bands was to start. Someone had other plans.


Illusion did not allow us to get any sleep, she howled and yowled and meowed and bugged us the entire time we were trying to sleep. I knew that sphynx cats were attatched but not this attatched...
and when i tried ot allow her under the blankets she wouldnt stay, she would hop down yowl, howl and meow again. I was literally sobbing because my boyfriend was being the rear end of a donkey, just because he was tired, stressed, and his autism wouldnt stop bugging him because of the meowing. I messaged the breeder and told her that i didnt think i could do this, because Illusion is not doing okay, shes meowing, howling and yowling and she wont stop. I dont know what to do and i asked if she knew anything that might be wrong, or how I can help calm Illusion down. She didnt contact me back because it was like 2:30 pm i assume that she was asleep. Anywho My boyfriend only got 30 minutes of sleep and i only got 3 hours. We were tired. But to top things off His dad called to yell at him for not leaving. Great right? ugh.

we left at 7 am, and found out Illusion kept the neighbor in room 103 of the motel up all night, just like us we stayed in 104. I was so sorry. i even told her i was sorry and she said not to worry about it that she was an animal lover and gave me some good advice. She said i heard you crying and sobbing last night because you didnt know what to do, she is missing her family and feels lost right now. Give her a few days to adjust.
so i nodded and told her thank you and said that i would do that which I am willing to. However we are now home. after a 3 hour drive of music blaring because of my tired boyfriend being a rear end of a donkey due to lack of sleep who could not stand her meowing. during the drive. We brought her home and introduced her to the two kitties i have Lynx point mixes ones my boyfriends the other is mine.

she Hissed at my cat, and then when i would pick her up she tried to get away. I had just gotten home from going and getting some Johnson's Baby shampoo, Makeup remover for the dirty claws that dont look like they have been cleaned very well, (i got them clean really well with a great struggle) i had to clip one nail that was long and had hair coming out of it because it was split and hair from something got stuck in it. she growled at me the entire time and scratched me up. I finally put her back with the two other kittens and i havent heard a peep from her since.....

so here i am writing my gotcha day story.


I seriously dont think that this is going to work out.... i was just trying to help her get her claws clean so she wouldnt get hurt in anyway. :( I can understand if she is tired and all but seriously? she could have slept last night but she didnt. I need advice bad im still freaking out, i'd hate to give her up but i seriously will if she cant get used to everything. I wont make any rash decisions. I just need to know if anyone has had this very experience with their gotcha day? Im just so lost i dont know what to do. I was expecting a great gotcha day and it wasnt great. It was horrible. Luckily we were able to go back to my Boyfriends house and get some rest for 4 hours.

Should i just stop while I'm ahead.... take her back, or have them pick her up or just chill and wait it out and see how it pans out? Alot of you will tell me to keep the cat because shes just confused i know i get it. Am i freaking out too early? Because this behavior has really changed my mind about having her. I literally dont want anyting to do with her :( this is not fair. not to her and i feel bad about it. I dont know if this is just a reaction because she wants nothing to do with me? or if its something thats permenant. I didnt feel like this before until i got her, i was excited and super happy to be a first time sphynx owner, now im just.... i feel like i want her gone. I dont like her attitude and even if i try and calm her down and pet her she hates it. Im at a loss... I need help. Please dont criticize me because its not needed i know thats a donk move for one to even do that to a sphynx i just dont know what to do. I need advice more than anything.
 

paigepop10

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Oh gosh that sounds horrible, I don't have any advice because I am getting my first sphynx in 2 weeks. Good luck. I hope this doesnt happen to me.
 

curlysue

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Well it sounds like she is missing her siblings, Momma and Daddy. Give it time she will warm up to you. I have to say maybe the music blaring over her crying I don't think helped but stay calm and be patient. She is just scared and now is your time you could really bond once she trusts you. Get kitty treats and toys that will help too.
 

HybridSphynx

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Oh gosh that sounds horrible, I don't have any advice because I am getting my first sphynx in 2 weeks. Good luck. I hope this doesnt happen to me.
oh good luck! i hope it doesnt happen to you either is so confusing and stressful had i have known that this was possible to happen i would not have even gotten her or thought about getting a sphynx. However there is a calming spray or tablets you can use just ask your local pet store/shops around and they will tell you what works best. I think it will help you should you go through this because i certainly wish that i had, had the calming spray.
 

HybridSphynx

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Well it sounds like she is missing her siblings, Momma and Daddy. Give it time she will warm up to you. I have to say maybe the music blaring over her crying I don't think helped but stay calm and be patient. She is just scared and now is your time you could really bond once she trusts you. Get kitty treats and toys that will help too.
OH! toys! i bought her some omgsh i cant believe i forgot to give them to her! lol thanks and yeah i agree the music didnt help i kept pleading my bf to turn it down but like i said he was being the rear end of a donkey just because he had very little sleep -_- shes doing fine with the two other lynx points i have but if i set foot in that room she runs :(
 

HybridSphynx

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OH! progress a tiny bit! i went to give her the toys i bought her and she let me pet her! ^_^ lol thats good so i think shes just stressing about being away from what she used to know. :/ i just hope it wont be so much a struggle with hygiene with her. She gets really Grr when i go to clean her claws.
 

zoinks

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Oh no. I wouldn't take her back just because of this.. Give her some time to adjust.

The growling and hissing could be because she smelled the scent of your other cats. Make sure to introduce them slowly and give Illusion a safe place to settle in if things get heated between them.

Some sphynx do not like baths, ear cleaning, nails it is just something you have to deal with. Maybe let her settle in before trying again so she isn't stressed out.

Think of it from Illusions point of view.. She is in a new place with new people, loud noises (the music and people crying) best thing you can do is give her a quiet place to settle down and de-stress and I am sure you will see her make a huge improvement.
 

curlysue

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OH! toys! i bought her some omgsh i cant believe i forgot to give them to her! lol thanks and yeah i agree the music didnt help i kept pleading my bf to turn it down but like i said he was being the rear end of a donkey just because he had very little sleep -_- shes doing fine with the two other lynx points i have but if i set foot in that room she runs :(

It will just take time.... Sit on the floor and watch tv she will warm up when she sees the other kittens playing and being on you. It's all about trust and with scary long trip home it may take a bit longer. It took a few days for Violet to warm up to us. She is our rescue baby (12 yrs young).
 

HybridSphynx

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It will just take time.... Sit on the floor and watch tv she will warm up when she sees the other kittens playing and being on you. It's all about trust and with scary long trip home it may take a bit longer. It took a few days for Violet to warm up to us. She is our rescue baby (12 yrs young).
okay well my cats are currently scared of her lol im just giving them time to get situated and soon it will be bed time any tips on how to stop her from trying to get intbetween my bf and i cuddling? she did that last night and im just like.... this is not okay. LOL i mean i know she just wanted attention and i have plenty of fleece blankets she can cuddle on 3 at that. i just want to find a balance between the attatched kitty and the relationship im in. will that take its course on its own? or is there something i have to do to help her realize that when its cuddle time for bf and me she can lay next to me or on me but she is not to lay between us.
 

Catzzzmeow

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Pop a nice soft blanket in the dryer and when it is good and warm, place it where you hope she will start to go toward...be consistent. It is usually like a magnet. This baby has been uprooted and is afraid. You are her only security...this is your opportunity to be Mama Cat so embrace it it while you can...you will be owned shortly...lol.


Patti
 

HybridSphynx

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Pop a nice soft blanket in the dryer and when it is good and warm, place it where you hope she will start to go toward...be consistent. It is usually like a magnet. This baby has been uprooted and is afraid. You are her only security...this is your opportunity to be Mama Cat so embrace it it while you can...you will be owned shortly...lol.


Patti
AH! i forgot about that alot of people have told me to do that before i got her. Thanks i will try that tonight :D i just hope she wont start yowling over the night :(
 

Catzzzmeow

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Hope it works! For the next couple of weeks it is all about your baby and not you. Hate to say it, but I did...lol. Play with your baby and tire them out until exhaustion and then cuddle in a warm blanket and they will know who is their safety...YOU. 2 weeks of no sleep is nothing in the long run...having a "needy" baby in the beginning can often lead to an amazing bond for YEARS. Embrace it...and yes suck it up...lol. You are blessed :) We are here to help you get through the next couple of weeks...bleary eyed and all we understand :)


Patti
 

HybridSphynx

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Hope it works! For the next couple of weeks it is all about your baby and not you. Hate to say it, but I did...lol. Play with your baby and tire them out until exhaustion and then cuddle in a warm blanket and they will know who is their safety...YOU. 2 weeks of no sleep is nothing in the long run...having a "needy" baby in the beginning can often lead to an amazing bond for YEARS. Embrace it...and yes suck it up...lol. You are blessed :) We are here to help you get through the next couple of weeks...bleary eyed and all we understand :)


Patti
LOl okay thanks but the lady i got her from told me she was 1 year and 8 months old o_O i know still a baby and i've been sucking it up and i have to say its getting better. :D she let me pet her but im still unsure about the hygiene i just hope that as we go she will allow me to help her with her hygiene and not freak out lol or growl at me it breaks my heart when she growls
 

Catzzzmeow

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LOL...I laughed so hard...I was going to say suck it up in that post , but it seemed to harsh to even try to be playful when we all know things come off very different when written. Getting more info and knowing she is not a tiny baby makes even more sense...you have a sassy, strong minded girlie and she is just saying it the way she sees it. She most likely wants good food, a fun time and a warm safe place to lay her head...you can tame this lioness I know it. If you do want extra support never be afraid to PM me or others...it is nerve wrecking to adopt and it is a transition for all.. But heat, treats and sweet talking usually do the trick within 2 weeks and that goes for most species...lol.

Your baby is so lucky you care so much about making this transition as easy as possible for all.

Patti
 
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Hairless Blessing

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Congrats, on your baby. I wouldn't go anywhere and leave her loose, with the other cats.
Maybe put her in your bedroom with water, food, and litterbox. It will take her time. Make her feel safe and don't raise your voice or let anyone else. She is scared and it will be a little harder for a year 8 month old than a 14-16 wk. old to adjust.
Everyone needs to be calm, she can sense tension or whatever is going on.
 

Sphynx4sure

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She is confused and scared. She should not be around your other cats right now. She should be in a room that is cozy and comfy with everything she needs to relax.
Don't worry about bathing her and clipping her toenails- all of that is not life threatening. She needs to be able to trust you first before you try anything like that. Cats sense your frustration and anger and it freaks them out.
I am hoping she is spayed, or she will keep you up at night and howl.
 

Helsinki

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Your description of the situation makes total sense. She's an adult girl used to a certain home with certain people and cats. Her world was turned upside down twice in the span of two days... First she is introduced to new humans and the motel. Then she was introduced to another new area plus new cats, and then immediately got some spa treatment haha. I would recommend leaving any grooming alone for at least a week, but longer if possible. She needs to develop trust. Let her decide the pace for her interactions.

Everything is going to be okay :) adults adapt a bit more slowly than kittens, but they do adapt. :)
 

GizmosMommy

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Sounds like she just needs time...it will all work out. Maybe keep her away from your other pets for now. Offer treats and toys and talk in a nice soothing voice. Mine sleeps with hubby and I every night so I have no advice about that lol :) good luck!!
 

Yoda mom

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@HybridSphynx - please please give illusion time love send patience... I always have had adult adopts-
I take it very very very slooooow.... At kitties comfy level. The growling fear will subside. It took my bengal cat almost 6 months to adapt. We let her have her own "safe" bedroom- litter food box and lots of praise baby talk if even one paw moved an inch towards a toy or to me..
some other ideas temporarily for all the adjust and get comfy:
Separate zones- keep separated for a few weeks.. Rotate letting the other pets check out the other cats area alone- go with them and play a d give treats just of checking outvthm other zones. Cross scent a blankie. Rotate each others blankies to the other pets zone area. Put treats on the blankie!

Let them sniff at each other through the door. I use a cat dancer toy left on the floor on both does so they can interact play andsore treats to both sides! I do this on short times as not to sensory overload- makes them more comfy-
Thn I put them up in their safe rooms again rotating zones of everyday living areas.

I let them see each other thru the door. I hold the door knob and let them peek numerous times a day and praise- treats again- watch for any signs of stress voice tones, ear set, body crouching- if they looked stressed go back to square one.

I do take it sloooower than most. I try to keep in mind it would be like me being parachuted into a new city, foreign language etc, no map--
I also hold off on baths until they at comfy with me- I out them on my lap and ppl ah with paws n touch ears and give treats for about a week . Then I move in with the cotton pad of ear cleaner and make it a spa petting time.. The. Nails front feet with treats while on my lap.. Next day rear feet nail trim. After a few times we do in one sitting and less treats till treats are given when all 4 feet done.

Warm wash cloth petting cleaning for first two weeks. Building up to spa bath time in the small rubberneck tote by the sink.

I am sure others can chime in more with suggestions to pick and choose from.
Bringing home adult kitties is always a bit different than kitten. It just takes a little time.

As you may recall- my Toby went on a growling and even lunging across the room at me- nasty from stress/fear after his recent neuter after I adopted him.i gave him his own space and room. It all subsided and he is a mushy lovey cat now! You wouldn't think it is the same cat! My man said he thought we would have to send him back! I told him he was just scared and I would work with him. I couldn't be happier with him now!


All cats arc different- some jump right in , others more scared and cautious- I try to take it slow to creat a balance of comfort love and peace at their pace. My man thinks I take it too slow but that's okay- I see progress everyday however so slight and that is purrfect!

I feel for you in that Tacoma etc trip traffic too-phew-.glad you are all home safe-

I pray that you are able to give Illusion some time to adjust- it can most memorable and rewarding experience in time.
I know because I have always chosen adult rehomes and some just take more time.
Our bengal took 7 months until my man could even pet her for 2 seconds- :)

He got all happy the day she finally talked to him and wanted him to pet her!
 

Lickleone

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If you only just got her you may want to allow her time to settle before bathing and cleaning her nails remember she has just been taken away from everything she knows. Jumping right in with bathing and nail cleaning may be to stressful for her. All those things can wait till she is comfortable in her new surroundings
 

Kyla L

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I'm very sorry you had a horrible Gotcha day. I recently rehomed a year old Sphynx Yuri and he had a tough time coming to our house. He still isn't 100% settled in and it is two months later. But we are having improvements almost every day. Yuri still ignores me for my husband unless I have a super soft blankie for him to cuddle in. He and Nigel play fight all night long and some nights they fight over who gets to sleep next to me. Last night Yuri attacked Nigel any time he tried to go to sleep in his own bed and not in their shared bed. Yuri's gotcha day was very hard on us as well as his old family. But we struggled through the hardships because we knew we were doing what was best for him. Older cats are amazing to rehome but they are set in their ways and can be very hard to acclimate to your home. Give Illusion all the love and time you can. Yuri fights me when I trim his claws or clean his toes or ears still. I have two huge scratches on my arm from last time I had to apply his claw caps. He attacked a friend who visited by jumping at her and slamming into her stomach when she didn't do what he wanted her to.

I promise you it will get better. Yuri is a complete different cat from the cat we brought home two months ago, but he didn't adjust to us as fast as the sweet baby Nigel that we got at 16 weeks. Keep your head up. You can do it for her. She will come around. And she will love you just as much as you love her.
 

assibassi

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it seems like your baby just needs adjusting time. Get to the ground and lay on the ground and coax her with treats ! I bet that will get her to come to you more. Soon you will see she will be purring and loving on you. She needs time to adjust to the new house and all animals and people in it. Play with her lots and give her good treats to get her to come to you.
 

1sphynxlover

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Just be patient and give her time to adjust to her new surroundings. I rescued a 2 yr old sphynx in May and it's still a work in progress. Little by little she's coming around. I've gotten very frustrated and disappointed, I was expecting a loving, cuddly sphynx like my others, but that wasn't who she was. I've questioned whether I did the right thing rescuing her, but then she will do something that makes me know, it was the right decision. She was left alone for days and never had the love and cuddling sphynxies need. When I look back and see how she was, and now how she is, I realize we have come along way. Just take day by day, before you know it she will be the purrfect sphynxie you dreamed of.
 

Ickushouse

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okay well my cats are currently scared of her lol im just giving them time to get situated and soon it will be bed time any tips on how to stop her from trying to get intbetween my bf and i cuddling? she did that last night and im just like.... this is not okay. LOL i mean i know she just wanted attention and i have plenty of fleece blankets she can cuddle on 3 at that. i just want to find a balance between the attatched kitty and the relationship im in. will that take its course on its own? or is there something i have to do to help her realize that when its cuddle time for bf and me she can lay next to me or on me but she is not to lay between us.
Yes, her doing this is showing you she wants contact and attention! It's heartbreaking, actually. Poor thing needs you now more than the bf needs you (or he can wait)!! Please give her as much attention as you can muster until she starts to feel secure.
 
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