Welcome to Sphynxlair! Connect with Sphynx owners & enthusiasts around the world!

Grief from losing your SPHYNX

pussiette

Gold Lairian
Notable Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2013
Messages
3,643
Points
318
I struggle with grief for losing
Ella everyday it lives inside my chest. Especially worse in the mornings. It moves inside my heart and it feels awful.

I carry fear in there too now a LOT of it and it's fear I will lose my current SPHYNX cats and this makes me feel physically sick. I worry every day they will die.

I am after ideas from others who have experienced these feelings of losing a SPHYNX and a similar situation on how to manage these ongoing feelings.

No one can understand this particular feeling as it is so unique to being touched by a SPHYNX.

This has taken a lot to face this.
 

Sheldon13

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
9,947
Points
613
I am in the same boat. I feel like I spend an abnormal amount of time thinking about the awful things that could happen and how I would react if I lost her. I'm hopeful you get some answers I can share.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

MollysMom

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Sep 23, 2012
Messages
1,918
Points
323
I would seek grief counselling if you can. Losing a pet can have a huge impact and they are very real and valid feelings. I can only imagine the mess I will be when it is time for one of ours to pass on. I know that I will likely have to go through something similar, I can only imagine your pain. Don't let anyone tell you that she was just a cat. Take your time and take care of yourself. Try to find small things that bring you happiness and peace, and make time for them. Hugs and best of luck :)
 

nudieluvr

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Mar 30, 2014
Messages
1,122
Points
238
@pussiette *HUGS* I'm so sorry that you are going through this pain. I know it very well after losing two sphynx babies. It's never easy. The pain eases a bit but the grief is always there. All I can say is love your babies the best you can. I also try to give the best care that I can possibly give. Life is short but if there's something that I can try to do it makes me feel a bit better. I feed my whole crew raw as I know something that can cause death is kidney failure from lack of moisture among other kibble related issues. I also do yearly HCM scans and try to keep them up on their cares. That's really all you can do. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure as they say. In the end, every day with our babies is a blessing.
 

Cinderstar95

Lairian
Joined
Jan 4, 2017
Messages
293
Points
91
I am so sorry to hear you are going through these horrible times. After I lost my 8 month old to FIP I was heart broken. It was six months ago and I still cry for my baby, and every sneeze, every twitch, anything in my others might be a major issue at least to me. Its horrible to lose them. But my dad has told me more than once that some kitties only have a short amount of time with us, but it is still important to give them the best short life we can. If they knew what it was to be loved, then they had a better life than many. Sometimes its all we can do. I choose to live by that now. My baby died at eight months old, but the four months I had with her, I gave her the best life she could have had. I have no doubt that you loved your baby for every moment of her life and that she knew what it was to be loved. Take comfort that you loved her and she knew it. Love your other babies and take care of them but dont let fear rule your life. They dont know time the same way that we do. They live in the moment and they don't worry about the future. All they know is that if you are afraid they should be afraid. It's not easy, not at all and I struggle with it myself, but give them all the love you can. It's the best way to honor the memory of your lost little one.
Best wishes and If you ever need to talk, please PM me.
 

Izidora

Lairian
Joined
Feb 9, 2017
Messages
104
Points
46
It gets so horrible once you've lost one.. everytime I enter my apartment, my first thought is "omg is Silvio ok? what if I find him laying on the floor as we found his brother.." - I cannot stop the thoughts...
 

Catzzzmeow

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 16, 2011
Messages
35,538
Points
673
I have avoided posting to this thread for a little while now. I totally get it. I lost my naked heart cat 3 weeks after hubby lost his Bengal heart cat last Oct. It was devastating. This community helped us heal and I am so happy to have people in my life that know we lost members of our family, not cats. It is natural to be anxious about further loss. I made a choice to celebrate every day with our crew. We never know how long any of us have. No matter what it will never be long enough. Please do not rob yourself of the joy your current baby. They are a blessing and deserve you feel your love and happiness with every minute you have them. Some great suggestions have been made. Know we are here for you as well. Hoping you get a day that you get that moment of peace that you move forward less heartbroken. We made that step in getting a new kitten. The anticipation of a new baby helped us heal and move forward. We learned we can love again...life is good. @pussiette
 

Xandria

Gold Lairian
Notable Member
Joined
Mar 10, 2014
Messages
10,022
Points
643
@Catzzzmeow -- Your wisdom is the best ever. Truly. I wish there was a way to distill these sentiments I see you express and share with others so freely into something briefer. But really, what you always say is heartfelt, real, and truly the best advice to anyone who views our Sphynx companions as beloved family members. HUGS
 

Kelly

Lairian
Joined
Apr 9, 2014
Messages
61
Points
34
I'm going through the same situation. I lost my angel gizmo in march. He was only 3. He had medical issues from the moment I left the breeders door. I was in love with him and did everything I could to help him. He unexpectedly died in march. It was horrible. I still cry for him. What gets me through is knowing I got him and gave him a wonderful life and made his short 3 years the best they could be. A little piece of my heart is missing without him but I try to celebrate his wonderful years with me.
 

gothicmist

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 5, 2010
Messages
2,406
Points
343
I don't think you ever get over it. you just learn to love the next harder. I still miss my Jedi everyday but I love my kids everyday like it could be their last.

hugs
 

Paris Sphynx

Lairian
Joined
Jul 5, 2024
Messages
4
Points
4
I struggle with grief for losing
Ella everyday it lives inside my chest. Especially worse in the mornings. It moves inside my heart and it feels awful.

I carry fear in there too now a LOT of it and it's fear I will lose my current SPHYNX cats and this makes me feel physically sick. I worry every day they will die.

I am after ideas from others who have experienced these feelings of losing a SPHYNX and a similar situation on how to manage these ongoing feelings.

No one can understand this particular feeling as it is so unique to being touched by a SPHYNX.

This has taken a lot to face this.
Last week the love of my life, my little sphynx Paris, who is the funniest cutest sweetest cleverest neediest and most affectionate little thing in the world, drowned in our swimming pool. I am distressed, wracked with guilt for not seeing her, tortured by images of her body at the bottom, pulling her out, blood coming from her mouth, knowing the pain she suffered, seeing on the CCTV her treading water and crying for me, how can I ever live and be ok? She was amazing and now life is just pain. I am sorry for your loss too and I understand x
 

Black unicorn

Lairian
Joined
Jul 6, 2024
Messages
1
Points
4
Last week the love of my life, my little sphynx Paris, who is the funniest cutest sweetest cleverest neediest and most affectionate little thing in the world, drowned in our swimming pool. I am distressed, wracked with guilt for not seeing her, tortured by images of her body at the bottom, pulling her out, blood coming from her mouth, knowing the pain she suffered, seeing on the CCTV her treading water and crying for me, how can I ever live and be ok? She was amazing and now life is just pain. I am sorry for your loss too and I understand x
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Losing Paris in such a tragic way is heartbreaking, and it's understandable to feel immense guilt and sorrow. Please know that accidents happen, and it's not your fault. The love and joy she brought into your life is a testament to how much she meant to you, and she was so lucky to have someone who cared for her so deeply.

Grieving is a difficult process, and it's okay to take the time you need to heal. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can help you through this. Remember, Paris's memory will always be with you, and she knew she was loved. Sending you all my love and strength during this incredibly tough time.
 

Yoda mom

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
27,233
Points
653
@Paris Sphynx , ((((Squeeze hugs))))) my heart breaks for your devastating loss of your sweet Paris. You are not alone in the feelings of a tragic loss. I know too well. please PM me anytime for extra care, support. Here for you. sharing I joined petparent survivors group. Melody the admin and members has been a rock of support and care and understanding. petparents survivors group link: 登录 Facebook

The hurt on my heart I do my best to wrap with the love we shared. I want to remember the love, soo much love and not the loss. It is hard I know, It is a process of feelings that ebb and flow.
Lighting a candle for Paris, remember the love, soo much love. Your lair family is here for you .

"
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am….forever and ever and ever."

Author Unknown
may love be what you remember most.jpeg
 

Attachments

  • 20240506_202330.jpeg
    20240506_202330.jpeg
    51.8 KB · Views: 3
  • 20210615_114421.jpg
    20210615_114421.jpg
    87.1 KB · Views: 2
  • helen keller quote.jpeg
    helen keller quote.jpeg
    11 KB · Views: 2
Last edited:

Toa and Ross

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
32,790
Points
643
@Paris Sphynx my hearts breaks for you. Losing your beloved sphynx is painful, and losing your sphynx due to a terrible accident is heartwrecking. I know cause I lost my girl Foxy by a terrible accident. Try to take it hour by hour, try not to be hard on yourself. And most important: every time you see images of her in the pool and other terrible images: imagine her on your lap, or her cuddling and playing, look at photos of you and her!
Hugs and more hugs
 

Paris Sphynx

Lairian
Joined
Jul 5, 2024
Messages
4
Points
4
Thankyou so much for taking the time to write to me. I’m so heartbroken and distressed about how she suffered. Your support means a lot. Today I collect her ashes. I will never know why she went in the pool. But I saw on the camera that she tread water for a long time and was crying, it’s so painful . Thankyou x
 

Paris Sphynx

Lairian
Joined
Jul 5, 2024
Messages
4
Points
4
@Paris Sphynx my hearts breaks for you. Losing your beloved sphynx is painful, and losing your sphynx due to a terrible accident is heartwrecking. I know cause I lost my girl Foxy by a terrible accident. Try to take it hour by hour, try not to be hard on yourself. And most important: every time you see images of her in the pool and other terrible images: imagine her on your lap, or her cuddling and playing, look at photos of you and her!
Hugs and more hugs
Huge thankyou for your support. It’s so tough, every day is painful. I’m really sorry you have suffered something awful too. What happened to Foxy? How long did it take for you to feel ok? It’s the suffering she went through that I cannot accept. That she was crying for me and I didn’t come for her to save her. She pain and fear she suffered is killing me. I appreciate hugely your support xxx
 

Paris Sphynx

Lairian
Joined
Jul 5, 2024
Messages
4
Points
4
Hi…thankyou so so much for taking the time to write to me, your support means a lot to me. I am struggling to accept what happened to my little girl, life feels empty but the worst is coping with the fact she drowned. She swam for almost 30 minutes, I saw on CCTV. My cried for me, she tried so hard to live and be heard…but I didn’t come. I wish I’d looked for her sooner. I feel so guilty and the fear and pain she suffered is hurting so bad. If she’d passed away of normal causes I could cope, the terrible death of drowning was the worst. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through this too. So sorry. What happened and how did you cope? How long till you felt ok? I know I’ll carry the pain forever as she was like a daughter to me. So cute and funny and loving. X
 

Yoda mom

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
27,233
Points
653
@Paris Sphynx , awh, hugs... Paris is home..home is where the heart is. I know how heartfelt it is to bring our babies home. they truly are family.
I was glad to get my baby home , it was a heartfelt day.
I try my best to cover the wound on my heart and mind with all the love we shared. it's a process. Please be easy on yourself.
I know personally easier said... we are here for you.

To this day I still have images in my mind. In my heart, I know my baby would want me to remember the love , soo much love and not the loss, accident. it was that, a heartbreaking accident. I have asked myself a thousand times why , what if, etc...
and got physically sick. Please remember self care.

I made a scrapbook of the best of times , framed some photos and even went to the library and got pet loss, grief books. I joined pet parents survivors FB group. a family of so much care , understanding and support like the lair family here.
For me, one of the quotes that helped me I actually have on my signature line.. "There is no death, only a change of worlds".. the bridge world.

I carry the pain forever too , the scar on my heart now stitched with precious loving moments I would not have traded for anything in this world.
everyday I reminded myself I would not let the tragedy be the memory. I got a pendant and had name engraved as a reminder of all the love.

Those cute and funny and loving times are everything .
we are here for you

(((squeeze hugs)))))
 change of worlds.jpg
20210404_103828.jpg
 

Aryasmum

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
1,825
Points
318
@Paris Sphynx I truly have no words. Just know the care and concern you receive from this forum is genuine. They have been there for me and my Ary so many times before. I enjoyed fostering bottle babies from a no kill shelter, until I fostered a litter that began to get sick on me, when the first one died I took them in and they told me they would be fine, unfortunately, when I got home two more started to fade on me. My daughter drove me to the emergency vet with the two sick kittens, one died on the way there, and the other was just hanging on. They rushed the precious baby girl to the back and then the Vet told me that there was nothing they could do for her and she would have to be euthanized. They asked me if I wanted to be with her, but those words broke me. I went home holding the blanket I took them in. I couldn’t check the rest of the babies so I asked my mom to return them to the no kill shelter and not tell me if they had passed. The next few weeks I just went thru the motions, and fell into a deep depression. My family noticed I was not doing well and help me reach out for help. I felt I had failed those kittens and truly had to rethink if I wanted to continue on working on my Animal Science degree. I still have not been able to try again with fostering. I have made a little memorial for those kittens in my garden and make sure to put flowers there. I still dream, mourn and miss those babies. Make sure you honor her in your own way and take all the time you need to grieve, no one can tell you how long you will need. Please think about taking the advice that @Yoda mom gave you and feel free to reach out if you need it.
 

nudebea

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Sep 14, 2014
Messages
1,280
Points
218
My heart breaks for you after learning of the loss of your precious Paris. The pain and grief are a mirror of the depth of your love for her . Grief will take many differing forms for all of us and take however long is necessary to work through, there is no right or wrong . It s just over a year now since my beautiful boy Wilson passed and I still think of him every day and tell him how much I love him, that is something that will never die and is special. Just know that others do understand what you are going through and reach our whenever you feel the need
 

blindowlblues

Lairian
Joined
Apr 26, 2024
Messages
44
Points
44
Just wanted to express sympathy for the Sphynx heartfriends here going through such grief. I am so sorry for your losses.

There have been times when my whole life changed due to the loss of a beloved kitty. It can really shift the way you view the world.

For me it is a reminder to treasure every day with my beloved Dasha and indulge her (healthily) however I can. Same with all our loved ones … we must seize the day and show our love because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.
 

kauna

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Jul 10, 2015
Messages
1,129
Points
218
My condolences on the loss of your precious Paris. It is tremendously heartbreaking the guilt that you feel. Just take it one day at a time. It was an accident and not your fault sometimes these things just happen. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss and forgive yourself as this is not your fault. Try to remember the good times and try to erase the harrowing images of her final moments. Try to focus on the love you have. We are all here for you in whatever support you need as we have all been touched by this magnificent breed. Even losing them in sickness or old age is not easy. Sending comforting hugs to you.
 
Back
Top