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Help! I don't know what else to do!

Nutmeg8112

Lairian
Joined
May 12, 2017
Messages
11
Points
4
Hello all!

I am sorry if my thread title sounds like I am overreacting but I really don't know where else to turn. I just really need some help and guidance from people who can relate to my situation. I posted a few months back about my cat Ollivander's aggressive behavior and tendencies and received some great advice. This helped for a while but then things went back down hill. When aggression and aggressive play came up before I made sure to play nicely with him, take him outside, and pay more attention to his behaviour and signs overall (such as touch he didn't not like and over stimulation). This worked for a bit but then he decided he was over it I guess?
When Olli was a kitten he was the sweetest little thing, a bit timid/skittish but overall a good boy. He was so cuddly and loving and slept sweetly with me pretty much every night.

upload_2018-1-11_2-3-54.png
nutmeg8112@yahoo.com - Yahoo Mail.png


Nothing drastic has really changed in our household but as time has passed his aggression overall has grown to the point that he is pretty unpredictable. My family has started referring to him as our Jekyll and Hyde and also as out "sometimes asshole cat." (pardon the language)

When we play he will be fine and purring and kneading then out of nowhere he will bite and scratch. We pay very close attention to where we pet him so that it isn't because we touched a sensitive spot and this still happens. Another example, when preparing for the holidays, my whole family was downstairs decorating the tree, Olli was all tucked into his little kitty teepee watching us all. As we started to wind down my brother sat down in the chair nearest his tent and after a few minutes passed, Olli jumped out of his tent, bit my brother, and went right back in his tent like nothing ever happened. My brother had sat down in the chair while we were decorating and did not prompt Olli at all so we were very surprised he did this. I guess it could have been territorial but it was very delayed.

I am even becoming scared to bathe him and have him in the same room with me at night. During bath time I can't get through anything without him hissing, biting, and scratching. I try my best to be patient and gentle (I even sing to him and play him music that actually calms him) because he has never liked baths, since he was a kitten, and get help so it is not just me in there with him but it is honestly very draining. It hurts me to see him get so frustrated and scared and it makes the whole experience worse for the both of us.

When it comes to bed time he is very persistent. He spend most of his day cuddled under our couch cover or in his teepee, or in my bed, when he is not running around. But at night he is insistent on being in my room, under my covers 90% of the time. Now before, I used to love when he would sleep with me. He would sleep in the curve of my arms or on my chest and although it was not the most comfortable (haha) I never worried about him biting or scratching me. When he didn't want to sleep in my room I was heartbroken! Now, before I go to bed, I tuck him in on my couch in my room with blankets and he gets cozy in them. That is until he sees me getting ready for bed. As soon as I get in bed, he jumps up onto me and starts biting at my hair and swatting at my hands until I let him under the covers. Sometimes I try to leave a layer between him and I but he refuses to go under until he is under the same layer as me. After he finally gets settled in, he lays in between my legs and with pretty much any position change on my end, he bites and scratches. When I can not longer stand the biting, I get out of bed and try to move him. However, when I try to move him he gets in defense mode and tucks himself away and tries to bite me whenever I get near. I have started using toys to get him out of the bed like a laser pointer and then get him out of the room but when I lock him out he cries and slams and pulls at the door for a good 20 minutes, which again, hurts my heart. At this point he usually tires out and goes downstairs to sleep elsewhere or I can't stand the crying so I let him in...which restarts the process. He is so smart that when I try to entice him out again using toys he doesn't fall for it.

We have spoken to his vet about these problems and she just said some cats have aggressive temperaments and that we just have to deal with it. Should I bring this up to a sphynx specialist and see what they think? We have tried treat training,air blowing, and water spraying but they haven't been effective over the long run. I am especially worried about the water spritzing enhancing his aggression and fear so that is rarely used. We also make sure to keep his nails as short as possible to lessen the scratches but he tries his best to stop us from cleaning and cutting his nails regularly. We also use soft claws which are helpful until he either rips off or bites the ends off so his nails peek though (who knew he could even figure that out lol)

I am just honestly looking for judge free help from people who may have been through a similar situation with their cat. I love Olli so much and it really upsets me that our relationship and his relationship with others in my household, has declined so much since he was a kitten. He rarely sits on my lap to be pet like he used to and sometimes does that for my mom and her boyfriend while they watch tv but that is about it. When he is good he is very affectionate and loving but that is only on his time and that changes at a drop of a hat. I just wonder what I am doing wrong when I see my friends who also have sphinxes and have none of these problems, I feel terrible. I feel guilty for feeling exhausted by his behavior and sometimes honestly am angry and hurt. It makes me feel like a terrible kitty mom and I don't know what to do. I know he is only a cat and he is only reacting this way because of something but I don't want to be afraid of him anymore.

Thanks
 

Sheldon13

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
3,457
Points
328
Bless your sweet soul for dealing with this. I’m sorry to say I have no advice to give but just wanted to show my support. You obviously love him very much. Have you ever considered he may need medication if you’ve tried everything else?


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Anansi

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Sep 24, 2017
Messages
527
Points
148
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm also not sure on what else to do but I agree with discussing the possibility of medication. Especially if you think this is stemming from possible anxiety etc
I would definitely discuss that with the vet and maybe see what you guys can try. It's so obvious you love him and I'm sure you're an amazing kitty mum.
 

Yoda mom

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
15,382
Points
653
@Nutmeg8112 , kudos to you for reaching out with your heartfelt post -
I know you love Olli very much - I saw myself in your post when I adopted my boy now nicknamed Toby Looove"

First , refresh my memory - how old is Olli ? Is he neutered ? Or has been recently neutered ?

I ask because I went thru what seemed like hell with my devil cat at the time -

He was 11 mos old .. And jelly n hide! He would purr with his eyes closed then leap amd attack- I mean aggressive across the dresser leaping 5 feet nasty ...he also did similar to what you describe at bed time - bite my head and pull my hair - it was aweful - I got worried walking passed him!

He was Sooo unpredictable I thought he had mental issues- seriously I was worried about it -
I would have to wrap him in a towel amd take him to a time out for 10 minutes to the spare bathroom with litter box-
he would huff puff and growl in protest !

I would tell him calmly "Toby Loooooove" now his nickname lol

He was worse for a two weeks after his neuter - I mean horrid - I am not sure if it was a reaction to the anesthesia
( it was not Ketamime )

I felt like I was living with the devil
Amd then 5 minutes later he was an angel
5 minutes later switching tail teeth barred growling hissing and flying through the air to attack-
I would pull the covers over covering body parts !

I told him he wasn't going to win lol - me afraid of a 9 lb kitty !

***I started training him ,Ike a dog amd redirecting - I actually kept a dog for hose toy on my headboard for bed time
Amd when he got crazy I scopped him up with all his snorts and growls for more time outs

*** I kept a treat jar on the headboard - when he was calm I would give verbal praise and gave hima treat -
If he acted out - it was time out again -
I am not a trainer so can't say if others will like my methods but I kept it up and it worked .
It took several weeks and I saw progress each week .

I made sure to clean any bites or scratches I got from him- be careful bcz cat bites can be nasty
@Xandria can attest to her experience

Honestly I did not consult with a behaviorist but I swear I was ready for the cat from hell-

I thought I was going to have to get him medication as a last resort

The training worked - I also made sure to make his environment stimulating ...
Added a taller cat tree , shelving etc

***Toys - I would wear him out at bed time with the Dabird pole toy ( had to put it in closest after play bcz he would go wild On the string - so only use supervised

So,e people use compressed air for behavior modification - personally never used the water or air -
Blowing in his face just ticked him off more and he growled more -
He was my Demon project no doubt - I never ever had a cat act this way! I have 4 sphynx, and he was the handful ..

*** I think his behavior was a combination of adolescents teenage brat followed by anesthesia reaction .

** I kept up this behavior modification training for months -
i was at wits end at times to be honest - I felt like I shouldn't have adopted him and was heartbroken that I was dong something wrong

All this behavior modification and adding to his environment physical and mental stimulation paid off

Today, he is the most cuddly loving boy - I have never seen him be a jerk amd hide ever again-
He goes out of his way for loving and I am no longer in fear of being attacked -
He purrs n head butts with his eyes closed in sheer contentment
He is like a totally different cat !

For Xmas I bought them the ome fast cat exercise wheel on sale -
Out of my four he is the only one to use it !
He runs on it comstantly on his own - I say go Toby go ! Amd he goes faster !

He was the one who needed the most time , love and patience as well as environmental stimulation.

I just want you to know you are not alone - we are here for you
I totally understand amd I have no doubt others will chime in with support and suggestions


Stay Positve!
(((Hugs))) from me and now nicknamed "Toby Looooove"

Look forward to positive updates
Sorry for the Lomg posts but I wanted to share my experiences and give you hope and support!

Olli could just be going theu a brat phrase
 

NinaGato

Gold Lairian
Notable Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2010
Messages
6,062
Points
643
I would really suggest you go see a vet that will talk to you about some psychological drugs like Prozac or buspar. I have used both with different cat's to help with extreme behavior.
You can start off with a transdermal lotion that has the drug compounded into it. This is the less stressful way to start or trainikng the cat to take a pill in a pill pocket treat.
Read about synaesthesia.....
And please after bathing your cat use a conditioner to calm the skin back down from having all the oils stripped off. This can trigger hyper sensitivity in all animals but naked cats can be quite sensitive to the drying out of their biggest organ, skin.
 

Nutmeg8112

Lairian
Joined
May 12, 2017
Messages
11
Points
4
@Nutmeg8112 , kudos to you for reaching out with your heartfelt post -
I know you love Olli very much - I saw myself in your post when I adopted my boy now nicknamed Toby Looove"

First , refresh my memory - how old is Olli ? Is he neutered ? Or has been recently neutered ?

I ask because I went thru what seemed like hell with my devil cat at the time -

He was 11 mos old .. And jelly n hide! He would purr with his eyes closed then leap amd attack- I mean aggressive across the dresser leaping 5 feet nasty ...he also did similar to what you describe at bed time - bite my head and pull my hair - it was aweful - I got worried walking passed him!

He was Sooo unpredictable I thought he had mental issues- seriously I was worried about it -
I would have to wrap him in a towel amd take him to a time out for 10 minutes to the spare bathroom with litter box-
he would huff puff and growl in protest !

I would tell him calmly "Toby Loooooove" now his nickname lol

He was worse for a two weeks after his neuter - I mean horrid - I am not sure if it was a reaction to the anesthesia
( it was not Ketamime )

I felt like I was living with the devil
Amd then 5 minutes later he was an angel
5 minutes later switching tail teeth barred growling hissing and flying through the air to attack-
I would pull the covers over covering body parts !

I told him he wasn't going to win lol - me afraid of a 9 lb kitty !

***I started training him ,Ike a dog amd redirecting - I actually kept a dog for hose toy on my headboard for bed time
Amd when he got crazy I scopped him up with all his snorts and growls for more time outs

*** I kept a treat jar on the headboard - when he was calm I would give verbal praise and gave hima treat -
If he acted out - it was time out again -
I am not a trainer so can't say if others will like my methods but I kept it up and it worked .
It took several weeks and I saw progress each week .

I made sure to clean any bites or scratches I got from him- be careful bcz cat bites can be nasty
@Xandria can attest to her experience

Honestly I did not consult with a behaviorist but I swear I was ready for the cat from hell-

I thought I was going to have to get him medication as a last resort

The training worked - I also made sure to make his environment stimulating ...
Added a taller cat tree , shelving etc

***Toys - I would wear him out at bed time with the Dabird pole toy ( had to put it in closest after play bcz he would go wild On the string - so only use supervised

So,e people use compressed air for behavior modification - personally never used the water or air -
Blowing in his face just ticked him off more and he growled more -
He was my Demon project no doubt - I never ever had a cat act this way! I have 4 sphynx, and he was the handful ..

*** I think his behavior was a combination of adolescents teenage brat followed by anesthesia reaction .

** I kept up this behavior modification training for months -
i was at wits end at times to be honest - I felt like I shouldn't have adopted him and was heartbroken that I was dong something wrong

All this behavior modification and adding to his environment physical and mental stimulation paid off

Today, he is the most cuddly loving boy - I have never seen him be a jerk amd hide ever again-
He goes out of his way for loving and I am no longer in fear of being attacked -
He purrs n head butts with his eyes closed in sheer contentment
He is like a totally different cat !

For Xmas I bought them the ome fast cat exercise wheel on sale -
Out of my four he is the only one to use it !
He runs on it comstantly on his own - I say go Toby go ! Amd he goes faster !

He was the one who needed the most time , love and patience as well as environmental stimulation.

I just want you to know you are not alone - we are here for you
I totally understand amd I have no doubt others will chime in with support and suggestions


Stay Positve!
(((Hugs))) from me and now nicknamed "Toby Looooove"

Look forward to positive updates
Sorry for the Lomg posts but I wanted to share my experiences and give you hope and support!

Olli could just be going theu a brat phrase
Thank you so much for your response. It really struck a chord. His behavior is pretty exact to what you described and I am feeling the same way. Even down to the needing to wrap him in a towel or blanket to move him to “time out” However, he is a bit older and will be turning 2 in May. Still at an age of young adulthood or adolescence. My boyfriend actually refers to him sometimes as our “moody teen.” He was neutered when he was still a kitten so I don’t think that could be an underlying problem. I am going to take your advices and see if the training in that way helps. I need to stay diligent and not be afraid of my little kitty! haha I think for my own sanity I am going to lock him out of my bedroom at night and during the day when I’m not home. So he can begin to detach from it if that is something territorial happening. Especially at night! I’ve been exhausted!! I plan on letting him in when I am in my room and locking him out after I feed him at night. Here’s hoping we start to make positive changes!!
 

Nutmeg8112

Lairian
Joined
May 12, 2017
Messages
11
Points
4
Thank you everyone for your kind responses! I really was feeling down recently about the situation and your well wishes are very helpful and reassuring.
I do think I am still going to take him to a specialist just to make sure he doesn’t have a physical or psychological problems contubuting to his behavior extremes and just to make sure he is overall okay!
 

Liliths Dad

Lairian
Joined
Feb 15, 2017
Messages
53
Points
64
We did redirection with Lilith, and like @Yoda mom, we too lived in fear of our 4 lb kitten for a time. She's mostly grown out of biting, though we still have the occasional toe chomp, which sucks. Good luck with the redirection training, it takes time and patience, but it's worth it.
 

Toa and Ross

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
23,331
Points
643
Big hugs for you. So sorry you have to go through this with Olli.

Did the vet exame him? Check for health issues? Brain issues? Cause it sounds like there's something wrong with him. Maybe psychologist problems?
 

Mariechovi

Lairian
Joined
Apr 25, 2017
Messages
89
Points
19
Hello all!

I am sorry if my thread title sounds like I am overreacting but I really don't know where else to turn. I just really need some help and guidance from people who can relate to my situation. I posted a few months back about my cat Ollivander's aggressive behavior and tendencies and received some great advice. This helped for a while but then things went back down hill. When aggression and aggressive play came up before I made sure to play nicely with him, take him outside, and pay more attention to his behaviour and signs overall (such as touch he didn't not like and over stimulation). This worked for a bit but then he decided he was over it I guess?
When Olli was a kitten he was the sweetest little thing, a bit timid/skittish but overall a good boy. He was so cuddly and loving and slept sweetly with me pretty much every night.

View attachment 82754 View attachment 82755

Nothing drastic has really changed in our household but as time has passed his aggression overall has grown to the point that he is pretty unpredictable. My family has started referring to him as our Jekyll and Hyde and also as out "sometimes asshole cat." (pardon the language)

When we play he will be fine and purring and kneading then out of nowhere he will bite and scratch. We pay very close attention to where we pet him so that it isn't because we touched a sensitive spot and this still happens. Another example, when preparing for the holidays, my whole family was downstairs decorating the tree, Olli was all tucked into his little kitty teepee watching us all. As we started to wind down my brother sat down in the chair nearest his tent and after a few minutes passed, Olli jumped out of his tent, bit my brother, and went right back in his tent like nothing ever happened. My brother had sat down in the chair while we were decorating and did not prompt Olli at all so we were very surprised he did this. I guess it could have been territorial but it was very delayed.

I am even becoming scared to bathe him and have him in the same room with me at night. During bath time I can't get through anything without him hissing, biting, and scratching. I try my best to be patient and gentle (I even sing to him and play him music that actually calms him) because he has never liked baths, since he was a kitten, and get help so it is not just me in there with him but it is honestly very draining. It hurts me to see him get so frustrated and scared and it makes the whole experience worse for the both of us.

When it comes to bed time he is very persistent. He spend most of his day cuddled under our couch cover or in his teepee, or in my bed, when he is not running around. But at night he is insistent on being in my room, under my covers 90% of the time. Now before, I used to love when he would sleep with me. He would sleep in the curve of my arms or on my chest and although it was not the most comfortable (haha) I never worried about him biting or scratching me. When he didn't want to sleep in my room I was heartbroken! Now, before I go to bed, I tuck him in on my couch in my room with blankets and he gets cozy in them. That is until he sees me getting ready for bed. As soon as I get in bed, he jumps up onto me and starts biting at my hair and swatting at my hands until I let him under the covers. Sometimes I try to leave a layer between him and I but he refuses to go under until he is under the same layer as me. After he finally gets settled in, he lays in between my legs and with pretty much any position change on my end, he bites and scratches. When I can not longer stand the biting, I get out of bed and try to move him. However, when I try to move him he gets in defense mode and tucks himself away and tries to bite me whenever I get near. I have started using toys to get him out of the bed like a laser pointer and then get him out of the room but when I lock him out he cries and slams and pulls at the door for a good 20 minutes, which again, hurts my heart. At this point he usually tires out and goes downstairs to sleep elsewhere or I can't stand the crying so I let him in...which restarts the process. He is so smart that when I try to entice him out again using toys he doesn't fall for it.

We have spoken to his vet about these problems and she just said some cats have aggressive temperaments and that we just have to deal with it. Should I bring this up to a sphynx specialist and see what they think? We have tried treat training,air blowing, and water spraying but they haven't been effective over the long run. I am especially worried about the water spritzing enhancing his aggression and fear so that is rarely used. We also make sure to keep his nails as short as possible to lessen the scratches but he tries his best to stop us from cleaning and cutting his nails regularly. We also use soft claws which are helpful until he either rips off or bites the ends off so his nails peek though (who knew he could even figure that out lol)

I am just honestly looking for judge free help from people who may have been through a similar situation with their cat. I love Olli so much and it really upsets me that our relationship and his relationship with others in my household, has declined so much since he was a kitten. He rarely sits on my lap to be pet like he used to and sometimes does that for my mom and her boyfriend while they watch tv but that is about it. When he is good he is very affectionate and loving but that is only on his time and that changes at a drop of a hat. I just wonder what I am doing wrong when I see my friends who also have sphinxes and have none of these problems, I feel terrible. I feel guilty for feeling exhausted by his behavior and sometimes honestly am angry and hurt. It makes me feel like a terrible kitty mom and I don't know what to do. I know he is only a cat and he is only reacting this way because of something but I don't want to be afraid of him anymore.

Thanks
Don't feel guilty for wanting control back, think of him as your child and go forward accordingly. I posted earlier about my cat's aggression, got offline and sat and played with my Floyd as usual, when I stopped and sat down because my 55 yr old back was aching within minutes my cat suddenly launched onto the back of my armchair and bit my face pretty bad.


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