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Help?!?! They hate each other

MikkiJean

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Sorry I have been absent for a few days. I'm teaching a local high school's band camp and have been absolutely exhausted.

It's been almost a week now since we got Lexi and we've tried introducing the cats 2 or 3 times. Every time it's fine for a few seconds then Lexi hisses or Louis hisses, but usually Lexi first. I don't know if she feels threatened (because Louis is bigger than she is) or what. Louis actually attacked her and got her tonight. He bit her and now she has a huge bite mark on the back of her neck.

What should we do to help them live together, but not kill each other. I'm at a loss on this one. I've never owned more than one cat and Louis and Lexi are such love bugs apart I didn't think it would be a problem. Lexi does have a tendency to be timid, but we've been holding Louis and letting her sniff him before letting him go a little.

Please help!
 

ElGatoLoco

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Sounds like a battle for alpha cat. The kitties may just be establishing the pack order. I think they just need time. But I've been wrong before.
 

Gadzukz

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I agree that time will solve this. Freya was with us for six months before she quit hissing at the other cats, and she still has not cuddled with anyone. She was five years old when we got her. The bite however may be a problem if it gets infected, keep an eye on it and if you think it needs to be checked by a vet don't hesitate to take her. Good luck, I feel certain your kitties will come around, it just takes them longer when they are older.

How's the BF feeling about Lexi?
 

Bella07

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Time, time, time is all they need! It took my girl at least 3 months to accept our other new cat. Not sure if you are doing this, but let them see each other through a baby gate for a few more days. That way, they can sniff, see, and be around one another, but not in such a "threatening" situation. You'll know when the time is right to let them be together again. They should be excited to meet. Patience is a virtue in this scenario. It will take time for them to get to know, and accept one another. Could take days, to weeks, to several months. Good Luck!
 

firehillqueen

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When we adopted Tosca after the loss of my two boys we were told she would NEVER tolerate another cat. Well... I had already commited to buy two kittens. It took a quite a while for Tosca to accept them. She loves Ciel, the little female who looks just like her, Cadeau she bares with most of the time, but she isnt mean to him anymore. Chimere', well she is still hissing at her some of the time. But for Tosca this is wonderful. You will just have to give them all the time they need.
 

MikkiJean

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I agree that time will solve this. Freya was with us for six months before she quit hissing at the other cats, and she still has not cuddled with anyone. She was five years old when we got her. The bite however may be a problem if it gets infected, keep an eye on it and if you think it needs to be checked by a vet don't hesitate to take her. Good luck, I feel certain your kitties will come around, it just takes them longer when they are older.

How's the BF feeling about Lexi?
We decided to try and let them just fight it out, but didn't think it would lead to bitting. I cleaned the bite up, but now I'm terrified to let them together again. The BF is slowly falling in love. He actually got really upset at Louis for bitting Lexi.

I don't really have access to a baby gate and wouldn't I need several of them to cover the door so they wouldn't jump over. Is there anything else I can use?

I would be fine with them hissing at each other and what not for a while, but we can't even have them in the same room together and supervised without Louis attacking her.
 

kiennasmom

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I seem to be the exception here, but after 4 years my cats STILL don't love each other. Some days, they barely tolerate each other. For the most part, things here are peaceful as long as each one stays at least 3' away from the other:Dizzy: However, when they argue it's mostly hissing, paw-thumping, and chasing--no biting involved.

When I first get a kitty, I usually keep it in my bedroom and because my house is almost 100 yrs old, I still have removable screen & storm windows. I take one of the screen windows and place it over the bedroom doorway. That way they can see and smell but not touch. I only do this when I'm around since it wouldn't be too hard for a kitten to climb right on up, but I've never had this happen. Plus, if you are lucky enough to have a newer home, you wouldn't have a garage full of extra windows laying around.

As I said, I seem to be the exception. Sounds like the vast majority of the time, the kitties become friends in due time. I'm so glad your BF is falling for Lexi!!!
 

Melonie

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I had one cat who hated everyone she never got over it, besides her all my kitties got along in like 3 days max.
 

marlene

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I recommend keeping the kitties separated for the time being. Give Lexi more time to get comfortable in her new home. But one thing you can do to help them get accustomed to each other is switch their rooms once or twice a day. Put Louis in Lexi's room while you let Lexi out into the house where Louie has been living. That will get Lexi's scent all over so Louie becomes more used to it and it won't be so foreign when you attempt introductions again.

But they'll still fuss and fight when you allow them to be together. The thing is to watch that they don't hurt each other. But screaming hissing and tussling are normal until they establish dominance.
 

xxx_phoenix_xxx

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i have read a book on cat behaviour and from what i have read this can easily be sorted. with a few more toys to keep them occupied which should detere their attention from a cat fight. it suggets that when you see that they are about to have an argument you should step in by throwing in a few toys to distract them. it says that doing thjis they will learn more to play together than to fight and eventually they will see it is more fun and less painfull lol.
i also read that most cat fights are thrue seeing who is boss and who owns the terretory so it recomends that you add a ew more hiding places around the home so that they can have their place to call their own they should choose this themselves. a woman tried out these tecniques on her 4 siamese cats and it worked a treat it does take time but patience is the key.
sepperating them will not solve the problem it will just set you back
good luck with them i'm sure they will learn to love each other eventually .:ThumbsUp:
 

ilovemysphynx

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First off is Louie fixed? If not having this done could help out with this a bit.
Next I agree with the keeping them in separate rooms, this way they get used to the smell of each other without the threat of coming to close. Change rooms every few hours and after a week or so give it another go for them being together.
Did the bite break the skin?
 

susi794

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I was just thinking the same thing--bites on the back of the neck, male/female??? This sounds like an attempt to mate or at least a male need to dominate. If your male is intact, this may be the problem.
 

Mews2much

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Even if he is altered it can happen.
Polar does that and he has hurt Cleo and Wrinkles with his biting.
I hope your male stops doing that.
Cleo had a bite that bled before on her neck.
Keep them away from each other.
My sphynx are best friends now but they still get pissed at polar because he hurts them.



 

MikkiJean

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Louis is fixed, and I'm assuming he has been since he was 6 months since he grew up in the shelter and I got him just under a year old.

We switched their rooms yesterday for a little bit. Now every time I open the door Louis tries to run into Lexi's room. So we will continue the switches for a few more days.

Lexi didn't bleed, but you can see a big red mark where Louis bit. Now he's started chewing on everything!!! He stops when you tell him too, but I don't understand what this new behavior is all about.

I'm one stressed out mommy
 

MissMySphynxBoys

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Don't stress too much. You have great mommy instincts and are doing a great job with your babies.
 

Gullivers Keeper

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It took Sevi and Gnocchi about 6 months to tolerate Gulliver... Now they will sleep in the same bed, but they don't cuddle... Gulliver still tries to dominate Sevi (2 males both fixed) but is afraid of Gnocchi (the girl) who showed him who's boss when Gulliver was small :BigSmile: The changing rooms thing seemed to help, also moving around the stuff they slept on so all their smell was everywhere. Maybe try putting shirts on them then switching them so they smell like each other?

Best of luck!!
 
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Gable and Amaryllis didn't get along at first either. Gable went from being sad as his friendship was rejected by Amaryllis, to just being obnoxious toward her, to spraying and humping (yes he is fixed).

I bought a Feliway diffuser and there have been no more issues thus far. They will even cuddle together with me on the bed. They play a lot together now and do not get aggressive toward one another anymore. That took a couple of months though.

Be patient. They may never become best buddies but I think the aggressiveness will stop. I would seriously consider the Feliway diffuser or spray.
 

MikkiJean

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Gable and Amaryllis didn't get along at first either. Gable went from being sad as his friendship was rejected by Amaryllis, to just being obnoxious toward her, to spraying and humping (yes he is fixed).

I bought a Feliway diffuser and there have been no more issues thus far. They will even cuddle together with me on the bed. They play a lot together now and do not get aggressive toward one another anymore. That took a couple of months though.

Be patient. They may never become best buddies but I think the aggressiveness will stop. I would seriously consider the Feliway diffuser or spray.
I bought the Feliway diffuser today, so we will see if that will help! How long should I have it plugged in for before I try having them in the same room again?
 

MikkiJean

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Feliway diffuser is plugged in and has been for quite a few hours now. We brought Lexi out to the living room where Louis was and had a toy ready. We didn't let Louis roam free though, my BF had a hand on him at all times. But he actually laid down on his own and even rolled on to his back a few times. There was one exchange of a hiss that Miss Lexi started (she always does) and she growled but then we pulled the toy out and had them play. Louis backed down so I thought that was a good sign.

I've also switched some of their blankets around.

Whew! We probably had them in the same room together for 15-20 minutes which is a lot better than the 45 seconds they tolerated each other a few days ago!

We rewarded them with treats after they played together! Hopefully we will be able to let Louis play restraint free soon
 

MissMySphynxBoys

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Feliway diffuser is plugged in and has been for quite a few hours now. We brought Lexi out to the living room where Louis was and had a toy ready. We didn't let Louis roam free though, my BF had a hand on him at all times. But he actually laid down on his own and even rolled on to his back a few times. There was one exchange of a hiss that Miss Lexi started (she always does) and she growled but then we pulled the toy out and had them play. Louis backed down so I thought that was a good sign.

I've also switched some of their blankets around.

Whew! We probably had them in the same room together for 15-20 minutes which is a lot better than the 45 seconds they tolerated each other a few days ago!

We rewarded them with treats after they played together! Hopefully we will be able to let Louis play restraint free soon

Great news. It sounds like you and your BF are doing all the right things and that the tw kitties are starting to get use to each other. The Feliway Diffuser sounds like a godsend. I'll have to keep that in mind....
 

Pbinky

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Getting kitties to get along is a long tough road, especially with two adult cats. Pbinky was ten months old when we brought home Skinny. It took a long time befor they could be left together alone. Now they love each other. Your doing all the right things. It just takes time.
 
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