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Discussion in 'In loving memory of...' started by Amy31, Apr 13, 2018.

  1. Amy31

    Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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    Some of you may know my story, for those that done a brief explanation,for my 18th birthday I bought myself a moggy kitten, Conrad, he was short of 6 months when he passed from fip, a few years later I then bought my first Sphynx lucifer 3 years ago, he passed away just after his first birthday, we fought a long fight he was my heart cat, he had fip, when he passed I always said I'd rescue a Sphynx if one came up, my mum couldn't cope with how depressed I became so she bought me my girl FLO, she was 8 years old, a month ago a girl messaged me who worked at the RSPCA they had a Sphynx up for rescue, she was 4 and so I adopted her, Glenda, last week, she came down for breakfast and had a funny moment and dropped dead, my mum preformed cpr for half an hour but she was gone instantly..from certain forums I'm believing she may have had hcm :( a few days ago a lady contacted me, from a rescue centre, she had been told I am a very good Sphynx owner (I disagree) but that she has a 1 year old male, who had had 3 homes..and she really wants me to have him, however he has a grade 2/6 heart murmur, and they have no onsite cardiologist, my girl FLO has a heart murmur and we are currently under going blood tests and what not but I am just torn, part of me wants to help him and love him, part of me doesn't dare take him on and curse him with my bad luck, I just don't know if I could take the pain if anything was to go wrong..but then why am I always contacted? Am I supposed to help them, please just help me decide..a lady whos high up on another forum I'm on had told me not to take him, but I'm just not sure what to do :( all the cats I have bought myself have passed away, I feel like I'm killing them :(
     
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    • RoseEllen

      RoseEllenLairian

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      I know it must feel that way, given all that has happened, but from an outsider looking in... you haven’t done anything wrong. All you have done is open up your home and your heart to these animals and helped them and loved them. If you hadn’t taken them in, I truly believe they would have had the same fate. So I hope that doesn’t stop you from rescuing another kitty, because you aren’t killing them. I think that if you feel ready emotionally then you should take him in. The fact that you are even considering this tells me you want to. Don’t let yourself feel guilty if you just aren’t ready for that though. A lot of people wouldn’t be..
       
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      • Amy31

        Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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        I'm not sure what I feel really, I'm still hurting over Glenda, the way she went will haunt me forever, she was a sweet little girl who i loved dearly in the month I had her..I miss her little face, but then I'm a bit of a sucker for a sob store and if I could rescue every animal in the world I would do it, I hate that the lady wants me to have him so bad and that the poor boy has been passed pillar to post in only a year..it angers me because I did and try to do everything I can for my baby's and then some are just unloved, so I want to love him, I find it easier now, when lucifer passed I never wanted another, but when my mum got me FLO it was the best thing ever and so now I know it's not replacing them like it first feels, they are all so different!! Which is why I think I'm considering it, it's just the heart murmur that is really scaring me, I don't think my heart can take much more bad luck and loss
         
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        • RoseEllen

          RoseEllenLairian

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          Yes I see your dilemma.. knowing about the heart murmur is something to make you pause and think about it. I wonder how often a heart murmur leads to an early death? If it were me, I would find out what statistics and then see how i felt. Do you know the reason this cat was passed around so much? I cant imagine giving up one of my cats! I don’t know how people do it. In the end you would be giving this cat a loving home to spend the rest of his years in, no matter how long that may be. I think you need to sleep on it some more and go with what your gut tells you. There’s no easy answer here, sorry! I wish i could help more.
           
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          • Amy31

            Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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            I know :/ my FLO has a heart murmur, and she's ten now, we are doing some tests soon just to see if it's a worry, after what happened with Glenda I'm very paranoid, I've no real answer on why glenda died or if she even had a murmur (I wanted to get her settled before I took her to the vets) I'm just going off the advice I've had from people when I described her death and a lot of people said hcm, so it certainly makes me concerned he has one..apparantly the first people had him as a trophy cat, but he was to needy and left alone to long so became destructive, the second home he was apparantly okay then an incident nobody knows about made his bully a rag doll he lived with and he became territorial and so was locked away from the other cats and then rehomed, to a lady with a young child who would hand feed him and he nipped the child and she locked him out for three weeks then passed him into the rescue centre, from what I gather he's very needy and needs a lot of attention and people can't cope..I will have a look into that, and possibly ring my vet although I'm sure he will think I'm crazy after all I've been through!! I could never give my baby away no matter the situation it baffles me!! No you have helped thank you :) I didn't think to look into it
             
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            • Toa and Ross

              Toa and RossGold Lairian Notable Member

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              STOP thinking you're killing the cats or that it's your fault please. Cause that is really not true. Sometimes there are happenimg things in life you can't rationally explain. Maybe it sounds silly but I think all the cats with their healthproblems come on your path because you are a special person. You are the one that gives them so much love and take care of them so well. They need you and your love in their short lifes.

              I can't decide for you if you want to go ahead with this boy. But your heart is strong and will give you the answer you need.

              Hugs for you
               
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              • Amy31

                Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                Possibly, but my heart gets weaker with each one, at least they are taking my love with them, thank you, I'm going to Paris on Monday so I'm going to have a think and if he's still available when I'm home I'm going to go and see him and see how I feel xx
                 
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                • Yoda mom

                  Yoda momModerator Staff Member

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                  @Amy31 , omg - you are the bestest sphynx/kitty parent - you said it in your own words thst you do amd try everything for babies and then some ... We know the deepest love and care you share ..

                  I had mixed emotions giving my heart away after with the tragic death of my Yoda - Thrombosis embolism
                  I shared with you about in the past - it's scary to be vulnerable to give our hearts again -
                  each kitty was blessed with your unconditional love .
                  They knew love because of you ..

                  Go Enjoy your trip and go with your gut - only you know what is the best fit for you and Flo

                  ((Hugs )) n head smooches
                   
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                  • Amy31

                    Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                    It's just hard isn't it?? Especially with such a scary thing like what you went through and I with Glenda, but I suppose we can't predict anything it's just very hard..thank you very much :) I will have a think while I'm away, and I will see where my heart take me xx
                     
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                    • Yoda mom

                      Yoda momModerator Staff Member

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                      @Amy31 , I was terrified when I opened my heart again over and over - I would look to see if they were breathing when they were sleeping .. And worried about every shake of the rear leg which Yoda did when she had her embolism episodes

                      I had to take a deep breath and say - it's love , they live in the moment and if I can be a part of those moments whether a day a month or years well .. We shared love amd I would have not missed it for the world

                      Yes , the scars are on my heart forever .. but they are also a reminder of the deepest love shared

                      You have all our support on whatever you decided best for you amd Flo
                       
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                      • Amy31

                        Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                        Thank you, you're right it is love and the best you can feel xxx
                         
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                        • Amy31

                          Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                          I went to visit a kitten today that someone is rehoming, I love her she's just beautiful but her tummy looked slightly bloated? It's been that long since I had lucifer I can't remember if it looked normal, she looks quite skinny so could be making it stand out more
                           
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                          • Toa and Ross

                            Toa and RossGold Lairian Notable Member

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                            @Amy31 can imagine you feel afraod and worry about the heath of the kitten. Remember the tummies of kitten can be very bloathed. Specially when they just ate. Hugs for you
                             
                          • Amy31

                            Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                            Thank you :) I'm just very worried these days!!
                             
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                            • Catzzzmeow

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                              Trust your gut. Also ask for vet records etc...perhaps they might not have been wormed.
                               
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                              • Amy31

                                Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                                I did think that but she said they have, they don't have her registered yet they just took to vets 4 pets for a check up as they have only had her two weeks, I feel good about her but I think my worry is shadowing it
                                 
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                                • Yoda mom

                                  Yoda momModerator Staff Member

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                                  Do you have a pic of her ?
                                  Go with your gut

                                  Will be checking for updates ((hugs)))
                                   
                                • Amy31

                                  Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                                  This is her!!
                                   

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                                  • Yoda mom

                                    Yoda momModerator Staff Member

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                                    @Amy31 , so cute!
                                    What did you decide ?
                                     
                                  • Bailey21

                                    Bailey21Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                                    Awww she is precious! :happy: We have two new kittens in the households, they're little tummies are always so fat, they look like little porkers! Especially after just eating, then they really have pot bellies. @denise irwin
                                     
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                                    • Amy31

                                      Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                                      I've put a deposit down and I'm going to take her to my vets then pay the rest I think
                                       
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                                      • Amy31

                                        Amy31Senior Lairian Senior Lairian

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                                        Aw bless that makes me feel better thank you
                                         
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                                        • Toa and Ross

                                          Toa and RossGold Lairian Notable Member

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                                          Super cute and beautiful!!
                                           
                                        • Anita Eccleston

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                                          Hello sweet kind gentle girl , who knows what is out there for us .. but I will say if you can love this little fella then take him you know you can give him a loving home and you also know how devoted you could be to each other .. I kinda think it’s wrong to say don’t get him , but you know your heart and I really think you want us to say give him your best shot ,
                                          Not for one second do I believe your cursed you have had some pretty bad times , but ask your self would you have sooner never loved and had your lost naked / fur babies ? I doubt very much do I think you would do it all again ? 1000% per cent I think you would x
                                          I will say you also need to protect your own heart , but I have a strong feeling maybe this little fella will be the next love of your life ❤️
                                          Best wishes in whatever you decide to do
                                          Let your head work with your heart and go on your gut feeling
                                          Massive hugs
                                          ❤️❤️❤️xxxx
                                           
                                        • Anita Eccleston

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                                          I agree 1000% per cent of what you have said , you hit the nail on the head here I think
                                          ❤️❤️❤️xxx