Welcome to Sphynxlair! Connect with Sphynx owners & enthusiasts around the world!

How can I bond better with my sphynx?

Gadzukz

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
1,753
Likes
1,196
Points
0
Ok, I keep seeing how your sphynx are such lap kitties and am wondering what I am doing wrong? I want my kitty to be with me snuggled in my lap or playing or well...anything. Freya is ALWAYS in her pink fuzzy bed, before we had the bed, she was ALWAYS under the covers in someone's bed. She comes out to eat, and when she does she enjoys petting, but she is out to pee and eat and that's it, right back to bed. She hates the fur cats, and will not come out if any are around, she hisses at them if they get near her bed. She does seem to like me, but I am the giver of medicine, and baths and I wonder if that makes her like me less? :Cry:What can I do to help her love me and want to come out and socialize?
 

susi794

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
13,536
Likes
12,601
Points
673
Designate some play time....bring out an interactive toy and play with her....how old of a cat is she? Is she healthy? Is your house cold? Are the cats she doesn't like in the area where you are when you wish she were interacting with you?
 

lemmysmommy

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
838
Likes
431
Points
123
Lemmy kinda does the same thing, but if I get out his Kong Wubba or get on the computer then he is ready to play!! It always seems like he will be in bed asleep, but as soon as he hears the computer room door open he is right there!! LOL
 
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Messages
5,191
Likes
2,853
Points
0
From personal experience if your her main caretaker she depends on you the most and loves you the most. I feed, bathe, clip nails, clean litter, wipe her butt when needed, clear her ears, and torture her with new styles of clothing I've made up. Its gotten to where when I take something off the sewing machine and come towards her she runs. LOL Yet, even when we settle down for the night she still comes and cuddles with me and she will sit on my shoulders when I'm doing dishes or sewing more pet clothes.
The only suggestion I have is go pick her up and talk to her and cuddle with her. Walk around the house with her, I carry Snuffie almost everywhere with me. When I run to my boyfriends moms house to run her out for errands - Snuffie goes. When I walk out to the mailbox, she goes with me. When I walk around the yard I take her with me. Every possible moment I can spend with her - I do. Just a few suggestions,,,,She will come around. Have long have you had her?
 

Gadzukz

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
1,753
Likes
1,196
Points
0
Designate some play time....bring out an interactive toy and play with her....how old of a cat is she? Is she healthy? Is your house cold? Are the cats she doesn't like in the area where you are when you wish she were interacting with you?
We are totally guessing that she is about 5 yrs old.

She likes a laser toy and I have gotten her to chase it a couple of times, also catnip seems to entice her. Will she ever just want to come to ME?

The house is not cold, in fact I turn the AC off a lot just for her, and I keep her in t shirts a lot just in case.

She did come with many health issues, that have only recently been resolved.

The other cats are around quite a bit, they are curious about her, she runs from her bed to the litterbox/food bowl and right back, like a college streaker, lol.
 
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Messages
5,191
Likes
2,853
Points
0
If she is running to every destination and running back to the safe haven of her bed I'd say she is still transitioning into your home and her surroundings and other 4 legged friends. It may just take time for her.
 

Gadzukz

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
1,753
Likes
1,196
Points
0
n
The only suggestion I have is go pick her up and talk to her and cuddle with her. Walk around the house with her,
I would LOVE to hold her more, she hates it, when I pick her up she digs all four monkey toe claws into me and is constantly looking for escape. I have tried just sitting on the bed with her and petting her, and she will purr, she does seem to like being petted, Do you think she will eventually like being held? Do you think she has had past trauma? I dont know much of her history, the lady I got her from had gotten her from a shelter
 

susi794

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
13,536
Likes
12,601
Points
673
She might need a vitamin supplement or something too...have you talked it over with your vet? I agree with Christina about going to get her and holding her, loving her up, telling her what a good and beautiful girl she is....she'll come around.
 

2sphynxgirl

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Jul 5, 2009
Messages
328
Likes
171
Points
0
How long have you had her? Maybe she just needs time...maybe take a day with only her watching movies, giving treats, playing with toys & snuggling. Or maybe just a few hours at a time for a few days in a row?

Bluto did not warm up to anyone right away, but one weekend I was sick & he laid in bed with me the whole time. I think he liked that I had no choice but to lay there & worship him:Wink: Now I refer to him as my shadow since he follows me everywhere...when he isn't under the covers sleeping!!
 

Gadzukz

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
1,753
Likes
1,196
Points
0
If she is running to every destination and running back to the safe haven of her bed I'd say she is still transitioning into your home and her surroundings and other 4 legged friends. It may just take time for her.
Time I have! lol I really like her and want her to be happy. Did anyone else here get an older sphynx that took some time to adjust? maybe she has been bounced around like a foster child and given up on too many times to trust easily? or am I humanizing her too much?

I just wanna cuddle my kitty! lol
 

Gadzukz

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
1,753
Likes
1,196
Points
0
Susi~ the vet says that right now the Lysine is the best thing for her, I have been serving her wet food with lysine every morning and this morning she met me in the kitchen meowing for it! That was progress for sure! Vet says she looks really good now, but he has never seen a sphynx and really doesn't know their typical personalities.

How much time do your sphynx spend under covers?

Thanks so much for all the great advice so far you guys!
 

susi794

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
13,536
Likes
12,601
Points
673
How much time do your sphynx spend under covers?
None. My cats don't sleep with me--they won't lie still and keep me up all night. I have two heated throws that I keep in soft sided crates (I call them the basinettes) and another on top of a pile of dog pillows on the floor. I have a cat tree and toys in the living room and another cat tree in the dining room. My cats sleep while I'm gone and some during the day, but most of the time that I am here, they are playing on a cat tree, batting around toys, chasing each other, crawling on my lap or snuggling with my dog. When I am on the computer, like now, it is a constant struggle to reach the keyboard, as usually three or four of them want to sit on my lap. When I'm on the couch, the same thing...but I am the MAMA LADY, giver of food, dispenser of treats, the only one they have ever known. After giving all the meds for those months, Dulcinea, Mabel, Othie Marie and Pruney would run from me when they saw me coming. It will take me months and months to break through that again. Already we are making progress. They will come to me when I am sitting, but not if I walk up to them. Your girl could've had trauma, just felt generally crappy, or have trust issues. Just go slow, take every opportunity to love her up when you can, try a heat source where you wish she'd spend her time.....she'll eventually realize that snuggling is nice.
 

kiennasmom

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Mar 7, 2009
Messages
1,228
Likes
892
Points
0
Bayleigh does not like to be held at all, so maybe your girl is the same way? However, if I sit on the couch with her favorite blanket she will crawl onto my lap and cuddle away. She will also sleep next to me in her own blanket. She loves to cuddle on her own terms. My other thought is that maybe she really just doesn't like the other cats and is staying in bed because she feels safer there? What if you tried keeping the other cats occupied and spent some time with just her, petting her, giving her treats, etc? And like you said, maybe there's something in her past that is making it difficult for her to warm up as quickly. Everyone has given great advice. Just be patient, she will come around :ThumbsUp:
 
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Messages
5,191
Likes
2,853
Points
0
There is no way to really know what her history is either. It's very possible that she has been through something or maybe just neglect. If she was retrieved from a Shelter then she certainly was neglected and not socialized all that much. She just be content sitting alone and sleeping her day away if that is all she has ever had to do. And I dont know if who you got her from worked alot of not but if she did then she may not have been able to spend a whole lot of time with her as well. I'd just give her a while and make sure you let her know your there. When you walk by say hi and say her name and ask her what she is doing....thats what I do. LOL (If Snuffie ever answered me I'd probably croke! LOL) I would also try what Susi suggested with the warming blanket - that might help out alot and maybe speed things up.

Snuffie sleeps with us every night!!! Her very first night here she slept in her bed - ever since she has been persistant about squeezing herself in between Jimmy & I every night! We leave her in the livingroom when we go to bed and if we don't come back within 1 minute she is high tailing it into the bedroom and claiming her spot! She will scoot under the covers on cooler nights but most nights she sleeps on top of the covers. If we happen to be touching arms or holding hands then she puts her paws on us as well so we are all touching. Its rather comical but she is such the snuggle monkey...I hope you can get that with her as well. Its so special!
 

apcolleen

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
348
Likes
161
Points
73
i find getting on a pets level on the floor can help too. i pet sit alot and my friends cross eyed siamese is usually standoffish because he was found in a dumpster so lord knows what happened to him. but now when i pet sit he sleeps iin the bed with me and the dogs.

i sat on the floor w him when the dogs were outside and gave him treats and kinda ignored him a bit while i watched tv. id pet him once or twice then go back to tv. he would rub his head on me and id move my hand. but then pet him when *I* wanted to

even cats succumb to "You want what you cant have" lol
 

Nofuratu

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Jan 17, 2010
Messages
1,659
Likes
1,686
Points
238
Bond better with your sphynx? MICROFIBRE blanket...lol
Nofuratu hates to be held, but he is super cuddly with a blanket.
We have a few of those lovely faux fur microfibre throws and if you wave it around he will come running to cuddle while you watch tv.
We also have them on the bed so he sleeps under the covers with us.
I think sphynx really like texture, things that feel good against their skin, if you are just cuddling him on your lap with no blankie it may not be as fun.
We also have a small heating mat on the sofa which lures Nofuratu.
Try a really soft irresistible blanket , wrap him up and stroke his head and nose and talk to him and see if he calms down after 5 or 10mins. If not let him go. You can also try his favorite treat while he's wrapped up.
Nofuratu knows cuddling on the sofa means getting to share yogurt!
I would also put the bed he is hiding in all the time beside whereever you are. Nofur has a snuggle sack he loves and if he's in it upstairs and Im going downstairs I just grab the sack with him in it so he gets to hang out with me without having to leave his comfy bed! I even bring him to the other rooms in the house and just put him in is sack on a table or something...
Lots of times Nofuratu doesnt want to cuddle but I do so I scoop him into his favorite blanket, put him in my lap and stroke is head and he dozes off. If he doesnt settle down within a few mins then I know he really really doesnt want to cuddle and I just let him go.
Good luck!
Adventures of A Naked Cat
 

admin

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 13, 2009
Messages
22,169
Likes
14,204
Points
643
Hi Gadzukz,
She may still be getting use to her surroundings. Grab a small blanket and place it on your lap while watching tv and place her on or under the blanket while petting her for a few nights and see if that will get her to relax with you.:ThumbsUp:
 
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
292
Likes
356
Points
0
How long have you had her? She looks twin to my lil Douche! The House Cat in not a naturally social animal, but are by neccesity since we usually own more then one. I have a persian who is 8 yrs old. She bonded well with my Domestic male since he was here first but when i untroduced the 2 sphynx boys....well lets just say I dont see her too much. If shes on a couch or bed, you can pet her till your hands fall off and she'll rub all over the bed on her back and grab your hand and rub her face on you and purr and let out little meows, but walk near her on the floor and she will bolt like you are gonna kick her. 8 yrs of calm and love has done nothing to improve her disposition, this is just her personality and we love her so much regardless, and the rare moments of mutual affection seem all the more special. Sphynx are known for being extremely social withanimals and people, so I wouldnt expect her to turn out like Mercedes, my persian. But the fact that she isnt impressed by your other cats is probably whats causing this aloof behavior. When we got Berlin, Douche hated her. He wasnt hinself for a few days, didnt want to be held or cuddled. Was always alert, trying to keep an eye on Beebz...he has slept in my arms under the blankets since he was two months old, and he started sleeping alone on the couch since she was sleeping in his spot, with his big brother Little Man. If she was cuddled on my lap, Douche would come to give some love and the moment he realized she was there he would hiss and run away. A few days have passed and he is n ow cleaning her head and cuddling her and being very patient as she attacks his tail. This breed is extremely special. And most likely she will come around with time. I would give her time each day where she can be alone with you, maybe take a nap in your bedroom with the door closed so you cant be disturbed by your furries. I find sleeping with all three baldies is very therapeutic :) and everyone is purring and comfy. Also I agree, those microphiber blankets are amazing, I have 5 and Icall them the magic blankets :p cause if you have one bunched on your lap...the sphynx will come!!
 

Gadzukz

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Dec 2, 2009
Messages
1,753
Likes
1,196
Points
0
Thank you all for the great advice. All that you have said rings true, and I am surprised I didn't see it more clearly, I think I am just too close to the situation and had hurt feelings because my kitty doesn't love me, lol. It helps a lot to have someone look at it from a new perspective! Thank you all, I am going to try your suggestions and just keep loving her. Hopefully she will realize that this is her home too and get comfortable in it!
 
J

Jinxlover

Guest
Sounds like she might not want to be around the other cats. When I got Blueberry she was the same way with always sleeping on the beds and never coming out. I said I'll fix that. I shut all the doors. She had to come out, i made her.lol. I put her fav bed on the couch next to me and when she would sleep in it I would pet her. It only took her a few days, but she was young. She is a snuggle bug now(will make me nuts some days). Good luck I hope she comes around..
 
Top