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Need to vent

Inferno12

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So recently I have been feeling pretty good about supporting several causes and being so "high on life" I called my dad tonight to get some mechanic advise since that is what he does and he proceeded to ask me if I have ever been checked for high blood pressure. I told him that mine is a little on the high side but not anything to be alarmed with why? He said that he went to see a doctor a couple days ago because he has been feeling bad for the last couple of months. He thought he was fighting a cold or something. My dad has got to be one of the healthiest guys around. He runs, works out daily and is super strong. The only bad things is that he eats out 2 times a day and has always been stressed running his business. He never goes to the doctor be cause he is so healthy. Well when he went to the doctor his blood pressure is sky high and his doctor told him immediately that he couldnt fly (he flys his own plane), work out, run, or do anything strenuous because there is a chance his heart could explode and he would die or kill himself and people he had in his plane. The doctor said his heart wasnt enlarged but that he might have a blockage in his heart.

I am totally freaked out right now. I dont want to loose my dad over night. I had a co worker die on me in the field when his heart exploded and I did everything I could to save him and failed.

I have just recently had a "good" relationship with my father for the first time in my life and I dont want to loose him now.

Im sorry for venting but I am home alone and really have no where to turn except my Lair friends!
 

ckutkuhn7

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I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm glad he atleast went to the Doctor tho to find out what is going on. I can't even get mine to do that and I'm sure alot of us can relate. HBP runs in my family as well and I battle it myself. Luckily my dad is good with that so far but he does have a poor back and he is a auto machinist and is constantly re-injuring himself and refuses to go to the Dr. He also owns his own business so he is defintley stubborn.
I hope your dad complies to his Doctors wishes. He doesn't really have to quit eating out, he just has to chose his diet wisely...its so hard tho. I'm a food lover and watching my diet means to me,,,watching it go into my face! lol

Feel free to vent anytime. With his Dr worried about his heart I'm assuming they started him on meds and maybe a stress test to see if he needs a catherization(sp?). My boyfriends mom just had a heart attack about 3 weeks ago and thats what they did for her,,,she is very active and not bouncing back quickly enough and she is stressing herself out over it but all in time I suppose.
I'll be praying for your dad and you and your family..I know times like this can be stressful and hard.
You can try to lead your dad by example...start making a healthy heart for yourself so maybe you can show more support by understanding the changes he will need to make very soon. Just a thought.
 

Gizzymom

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Dawn.... on the realistic side, this has probably been going on for a while... and he has been OK... I know it is SO much harder when you KNOW something is wrong and you KNOW something could happen. You are in the medical field, no? So am I... and we both know that we are helpless sometimes... His doctors hopefully will know what is best and will get him care ASAP... I have had patients that have BPs of 200/120 and they say they feel fine... everyone is different... you dad sounds like a tough cookie... and now he has his daughter close by his side to see him through this. So just cross your fingers... or pray... or sacrifice a chicken... (LOL)... and hope for the best... Sometimes that is all we can do... :Smile:
 

ckutkuhn7

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I have had patients that have BPs of 200/120 and they say they feel fine... everyone is different
This is so true. I went into the ER about 3 years ago for my back. I have scoliosis and pulled it out of wack. Well I was in so much pain I finally went in. My BP registered at 230/134 and I felt fine other than the exscrutiating pain I was in for my back. (Pain makes BP go UP!!) Well the Dr's were so focused on my BP they put a Nitroglycerin patch on my chest and I instantly broke out in hives, headache, vomiting, fever/sweats/chills. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt. I seriously thought I was going to die. I made my boyfriend take the patch off of me and take me home because I seriously thought those people were going to kill me. It took me 3 days to recoup from that stuff. It can be scary. I really don't think I'd be here if I would have stayed and continued to let them treat me.
 
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Oh Dawn I am so sorry to hear this. I am glad the he did go to the doctor however so that they can get this under control. Remember, as you said, he is fit and strong so that makes a big difference. The doctors will get him on medication to get his BP under control and the good news is that his heart is not enlarged. They are grounding him and not wanting him to do anything strenuous right now as a precaution until they can get everything under control and do further tests to see exactly what is going on.

I completely understand your worry and concern and it makes it even worse when you are home alone to worry by yourself. Hug those naked boys of yours and come to the Lair to vent as much as you need to!!!
 

Mews2much

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Sorry about your dad Dawn.
My dad had a heart attack and needed a triple bypass.
I know how you feel.
My dad just got warned again he can have another heart attack and he still eats junk.
I hope you dad feels better.





 

sphynxie

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Sorry to hear about your dad. It was a good thing that he went to the doctor and found this out. Take this opportunity to spend even more time together.
 

Inferno12

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Thanks guys. He is such a stubborn guy and he has terrible insurance since he is "healthy and never goes to the doctor". He has very important friends (at least thats what he thinks) such as doctors and attorneys so he had someone talk him into going to see his doctor friend and he is on samples of blood pressure meds so he doesnt have to go buy a prescription (the reason my dad is a millionaire....he is a tight ass...lol) I just hope he changes his insurance and takes care of himself now.


We all new that when a tri-athlete couldnt run a mile without being out of breath that something was wrong but we had no idea. What a reality check for me. I think it was a reality check for him to so I really hope he starts doing whats right for him and not his pocket book.

We had such a terrible relationship for so long because all he cared about was money. We are lucky to get a $25 christmas present. We as his kids felt that we deserved some of the money too so when we didnt get it, I quit talking to him for many years. As I got older I learned to love him for the ass hole father that he was and not his money. Since then we have had a pretty good relationship. Since then I have always said "if someone came to my door telling me my dad had died, I dont want the money, I just want my dad back. That kind of came to a reality for me tonight and I freaked out a little and being so far away makes it even worse.

I talked to my mom about it (they have been divorced for 19 years) and she says "well I hope that he has his affairs in order" really mom? Is that all anyone cares about is his money and his valuables? UGH...anyway......
 

Inferno12

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This is so true. I went into the ER about 3 years ago for my back. I have scoliosis and pulled it out of wack. Well I was in so much pain I finally went in. My BP registered at 230/134 and I felt fine other than the exscrutiating pain I was in for my back. (Pain makes BP go UP!!) Well the Dr's were so focused on my BP they put a Nitroglycerin patch on my chest and I instantly broke out in hives, headache, vomiting, fever/sweats/chills. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt. I seriously thought I was going to die. I made my boyfriend take the patch off of me and take me home because I seriously thought those people were going to kill me. It took me 3 days to recoup from that stuff. It can be scary. I really don't think I'd be here if I would have stayed and continued to let them treat me.
He went and bought a machine to keep an eye on his BP and he says to me. "My blood pressure is lower at home than when I go in to the doctor" HELLO DAD.......a sign of stress! I told him he needs to take some time off work but thats how he makes his money so it stresses him out even more. He doesnt have sick leave or anything. Maybe he needs AFLAC! LOL
 

kiennasmom

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Dawn, you're always welcome to vent here! I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, but I'm very glad that now the docs know and can treat him for it. Imagine if he hadn't found out until it was too late. I can only imagine how scary this must be for you and your family. As others have said, he's fit and strong so that's a definite advantage. Appreciate the time you have together and take deep breaths. You guys will get through this together! We are all thinking of you and praying for good news!! {hugs}
 

klreese

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Awe Dawn, i really hope your dad listens to the Dr and takes their advice on what to do/don't do.
I can't offer any advice really... but the last few years ive had some medical scares with my dad... it really puts into perspective how much you love your Daddy.
I hope he gets on the meds and they work for him. - John used to also say the same thing about the Dr's... that it would only be elevated when he was at the dr's.... um... he has 2 heart conditions! lol he's an idiot! :) ... but thankfully a medicated idiots :)
 

susi794

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Dawn,
Don't apologize for coming to us to vent. We love you. It's what families do...and that's what we are. An online family of friends.
I will pray that the doctors can get his BP under control and for some peace for him to help him relax a little and relieve some of his stress.
Hugs,
Susi and the gang
 

Fester

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I'm not being negative with this comment so here goes...

He sounds like a complete control freak, as well as possibly fearful(things he hasn't personally taken care of, he fears will go wrong)

Perhaps a yoga or tai chi class -- gives him some control over his BP, is cheap, should satisfy his athletic Tendencies a bit --combine that with the minimal medical care he's willing to accept -- It could serve him well.

I'm not sure how well he listens to your advice, but perhaps worth a shot...

of course if you didn't want advice on how to fix it, but just to blow off steam and a sympathetic ear, feel free to forget the first part of my post. You have my well wishes for your father, and my sympathies -- feel free to vent any time
 

ckutkuhn7

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He went and bought a machine to keep an eye on his BP and he says to me. "My blood pressure is lower at home than when I go in to the doctor" HELLO DAD.......a sign of stress! I told him he needs to take some time off work but thats how he makes his money so it stresses him out even more. He doesnt have sick leave or anything. Maybe he needs AFLAC! LOL
Well no doubt going to the Dr adds stress!! Not to mention I always love how they weight you before they take your BP. I don't know about you but when I notice my weight is higher at the Dr's office it really ticks me off and then my BP is even worse! lol cant win for losing!
 

Inferno12

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I'm not being negative with this comment so here goes...

He sounds like a complete control freak, as well as possibly fearful(things he hasn't personally taken care of, he fears will go wrong)

Perhaps a yoga or tai chi class -- gives him some control over his BP, is cheap, should satisfy his athletic Tendencies a bit --combine that with the minimal medical care he's willing to accept -- It could serve him well.

I'm not sure how well he listens to your advice, but perhaps worth a shot...

of course if you didn't want advice on how to fix it, but just to blow off steam and a sympathetic ear, feel free to forget the first part of my post. You have my well wishes for your father, and my sympathies -- feel free to vent any time

You nailed it. He is OCD about a lot of things including control. I will mention it to him but I dont know how yoga or tai chi will be the equivalent of challenging a bunch of steroid using kids in a shady gym!. He needs to realize that he will never get there and he is too old to be doing that kind of stuff anymore.

Thanks for all of your support
 

Candys

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I am proud of you for accepting your father for who he is (with his faults). Keep loving and caring for him and know that is all you can do. I hope he continues with any tests he might need to take.
 

AmazonGoddess

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I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Dawn. I am glad, however, that it was caught before something bad did happen. The good thing is that people now know and can (hopefully) help him control things. I know it's difficult when the person is a) male and b) a control freak.

Let's hope this is a wake up call for him and he comes to realize (and accept) that he can't keep up the pace that he did as a 30 year old. Be honest with him. Tell him that it scares you to death to think about him not being in your life, that you don't want anything to happen to him. Sometime hearing something like that from your own child really hits home.

Worse comes to worse, hit him over the head, tie him up and force him to watch The Brady Bunch until he's in a relaxed stupor. ;)
 

MissMySphynxBoys

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You should never feel bad about vent here. What good are crazy online friends if you can't use them to blow off some steam?

Hopefully your Dad will get his blood pressure under control and in the process will find acceptable ways to reduce his stress levels while maintaining his active lifestyle. My vote is to get a Sphynx. Nothing cures a long stressful day than snuggling with a naked cat.
 

Inferno12

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When it rains it pours. My mom found my Grandpa on the floor of his house tonight. Who knows how long he had been there. They think he had a stroke and they are at the hospital now. Mom says he isnt doing well.
 

marlene

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It's hell getting old and watching everything fall apart and know there isn't a darned thing to do but sit back and accept it. I hope things go well for your family and your dad and grandfather recover the health they were used to.
 

Gadzukz

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Oh Dawn, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this right now. Hug the boys, and hug Jess, and know that your lair family loves you too.
 
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