Need your opinion

[Gizzymom]

OK... So I have a good friend of mine that does not like cats... (I know- she's weird). So she always makes cracks about how I am obsessed with my cat, that I do weird things (stroller, sweatshirts, etc), and constantly rolls her eyes if I talk about Giz.

So she asked me today how the photos went yesterday and I just said "fine". She asked if I saw any of them yet. I said "yes". She asked if I could email her one. I said "no, you will just make fun of it". So awhile later she emailed me the photo of Giz with a smart comment about how it was "weird". (She obviously had looked on my FB, followed a comment I made on my photographer's FB, and copied the pic). So I told her that I was not aware that I had asked for her opinion and I had not sent her the pic, so she should stop looking for it.

She then made a comment that she can say what she wants. This is the email response I sent : "What I think is that if I want to spoil my cat who brings me nothing but joy, you shouldn't feel the need to piss all over that. You do some pretty stupid **** for people who are much less deserving and I keep my mouth shut. From now on... just leave the cat alone".

Now she is mad at me!!!!!! Was I wrong?? I should not have to defend my pet. My mom always taught me if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And as my friend, knowing how much Gizzy means to me, why is that necessary?? If you think I am strange / weird / have issues... then pick other friends!

Opinions??

 

[TotenEngel]

I'm really sorry to hear that
Won't rant, but if she is your friend she should understand your feelings, if she believes them right or wrong .
I have friends who aren't massive cat fans (not many!) and they roll their eyes but still listen patiently to my cat stories and I, in turn listen to their stories about their children!
Its part of you and if she wants your friendship should understand that its a part of what makes you who you are ie the person she loves

p.s. we'll happily swoon over the pics on here!

 

[klreese]

um... Jody i think you were 110% percent in the RIGHT!!!!!
Ok, first off- really she found it necessary to go THAT far for a picture??? and No one asked her opinion. If she was THAT good of a friend she would understand your love your Gizzy!!! She would know such comments are hurtful!!! Ok, we all know we're a little crazy about our kitties.. but that's how we CHOOSE TO LIVE OUR LIVES!!!
she isn't someone i would call a close friend. sorry she's being such a jerk! i wouldn't bother with her, she owes YOU an apology not the other way around!!

 

[admin]

I agree, we love the pics here! You can bet on one thing here on Sphynxlair, we will always understand!
Not much advice on the friend issue, sorry!

 

[Sianne_and_Alice]

You were right. She obviously wants you to know she doesn't like the cat, or she just likes making you angry, why else would she go looking for a picture that you refused to send her? She's trying to get on your nerves and now she's mad that you wont stand for it.

 

[sphynxie]

I think what you said to her is fine since you've had to listen to all her awful comments. It's obviously a one way street with her- can dish it but can't take it. I hear stuff like that about my animals but not from my close friends. If we did these things with kids or hubby, no one would say a thing- do these things (photos, new clothes, strollers etc.) with pets and now we're crazy. I DON'T THINK SO!!! I tell people these are my other children and you need to respect them or move on.
Good Luck Gizzymom!

 

[marlene]

You already said the most important thing: "What I think is that if I want to spoil my cat who brings me nothing but joy, you shouldn't feel the need to piss all over that."

A friend who pisses on your hopes, dreams, or joys, really isn't a friend IMHO.

 

[marlene]

P.S. Let the friend stay mad at you.

 

[lawgrl]

I think you were absolutely right in what you said to her. It sounds like she's either clueless (doesn't realize how hurtful her comments are and maybe thinks she's being "funny" or just kidding/teasing) or just plain mean...either way, you shouldn't have to put up with that kind of behavior from someone you consider a friend. I'm glad you stood up for yourself!

She seems to have really gone out of her way to get this pic (I mean, mining your FB page...that's over the line), just so that she could be rude about it and all after you asked her not to, and that's not acceptable from a friend (or anybody else, really). You weren't being mean, you were standing up for yourself and your kitty. She needed to know how her comments were making you feel.

I should say, though, that I'm just not a big believer in suffering toxic people/relationships, so I tend to err on the side of nipping the toxic behavior (or the relationship) in the bud...

 

[tessblack]

You had every right to say what you said. It would be like someone talking crap about your kid, you would stand up to them. I don't have kids and these are mine, and yes some of my friends think I am a bit crazy but non of them would ever be mean. I don't understand why a lot of people do a lot of different things but it is not my place to say things about it. If she is a true friend she will realize she is wrong and come around. If not well then that is about all you need to know about her.

 

[NightSpidy]

My opinion is this...I think you were justified in what you had said to her. Sounds to me like she is jealous of Gizzy. I had a friend like this once, and hell, I have behaved like your friend but it was towards another person......when I was 12. I find it pathetic that being a "good friend" she went to all the trouble of finding the pic of Gizzy on FB and sending you that completely unnecessary comment and then telling you she can say whatever she wants. Yes, she can say whatever the hell she wants, BUT friends don't go out of their way to be mean to one another and she went out of her way to be a snatch to you. She may not agree with Gizzy and/or how you spoil him, but it's not hurting you or anyone and it makes you happy. As your friend, she should want you to be happy. I think you should wait it out and let her come to you. If she really is a friend, she'll realize what an ass she's been and will apologize. If not.....well, there are lots of other people in the world. Life is too short to put up with people and their s**t. But that's just me :Laugh:

 

[Gizzymom]

You know, with Thanksgiving quickly approaching.. I have to say that I am SO very thankful for my new friends / family at SL! It's very hard to find friends that understand you and not only accept you for what you are, but embrace you that way... And now I have a gaggle of them!!!

I have just accepted when my friend has said things in the past, chalking it up to ignorance... but you guys are right... She will either learn to treat me like a real friend or not have me as a friend. Period.

And thanks for calling her a snatch, NightSpidy... It has been a bad day and that made me laugh!!

Thanks again, everyone!!!

Hello... My name is Jody and I am a crazy cat lady! :Worn-out:

 

[sphynxie]

You know, with Thanksgiving quickly approaching.. I have to say that I am SO very thankful for my new friends / family at SL! It's very hard to find friends that understand you and not only accept you for what you are, but embrace you that way... And now I have a gaggle of them!!!

I have just accepted when my friend has said things in the past, chalking it up to ignorance... but you guys are right... She will either learn to treat me like a real friend or not have me as a friend. Period.

And thanks for calling her a snatch, NightSpidy... It has been a bad day and that made me laugh!!

Thanks again, everyone!!!

Hello... My name is Jody and I am a crazy cat lady! :Worn-out:

Hello... My name is Kelly and I'm a crazy cat lady too

 

[NightSpidy]

You know, with Thanksgiving quickly approaching.. I have to say that I am SO very thankful for my new friends / family at SL! It's very hard to find friends that understand you and not only accept you for what you are, but embrace you that way... And now I have a gaggle of them!!!

Yaaayyyyy!!!! Birds of a feather, flock together! I'm glad for my SL peeps too, it's the only place I feel comfortable discussing my kitties poops in great detail, my neurtotic worrying, my over spending and indulging of their behaviors, how much I have changed my life to cater to them like a good minion does......THANKS ALL!!!!

I have just accepted when my friend has said things in the past, chalking it up to ignorance... but you guys are right... She will either learn to treat me like a real friend or not have me as a friend. Period.

MMMMmmmmm-hmmmmm, that's right, gurl!

And thanks for calling her a snatch, NightSpidy... It has been a bad day and that made me laugh!!

I so rarely get to use that word as it takes a certian situation to fully justify it's usuage, so thank you for asking for our opinions!!

Thanks again, everyone!!!

Hello... My name is Jody and I am a crazy cat lady! :Worn-out:

Hello everyone.....My name is Angel and I am a crazy cat lady! :Worn-out:

 

[Sianne_and_Alice]

Hi, I'm Sianne. And I am also a crazy cat lady.

 

[Candys]

OK so I am being fair. I have not read any of the other comments. Please excuse me for sounding a little like Dear Abby, The confusing part is that you say that she is your good friend but does not like cats. WHAT??? Your Mom was right, be a lady and keep quite. I know it is so easy to go off on somebody that rubs you the wrong way. I don't know how many times I wanted to shoot my trashy mouth off to some jerkified no-it-all.( Oh sorry this is about you.) Anyway, be a lady, love your cats and change all your conversations to food or male body parts.:Laugh:

 

[ElGatoLoco]

I'm usually on the receiving end of those kind of tongue lashings. But usually people don't really realize how it affects the others. I surely don't sometimes.

Quick story.. I had a coworker who was really cool and we got along pretty well. We joked about all kinds of humor. She came to work with a little patch around her neck. I jokingly said "that must be where you keep those crack rocks". A couple day later I got a call from HR and had the situation explained. She used to be a drug user. I was rather angry that she didn't come to me first because I felt horrible and it made me feel even more horrible getting the entire office involved. It was only a joke and had no justification other than to be funny. I kinda felt like a kid in elementary school and was tattled on for eating cookies in class.

She simply sees a funny looking kitty that doesn't mean a whole lot to her. She probably thinks you feel the same way. Don't be too hard on her but make sure she knows your kitties are one of the most important things in your life. She wouldn't make snide remarks about your children would she?

 

[Candys]

Yaaayyyyy!!!! Birds of a feather, flock together! I'm glad for my SL peeps too, it's the only place I feel comfortable discussing my kitties poops in great detail, my neurtotic worrying, my over spending and indulging of their behaviors, how much I have changed my life to cater to them like a good minion does......THANKS ALL!!!!



MMMMmmmmm-hmmmmm, that's right, gurl!



I so rarely get to use that word as it takes a certian situation to fully justify it's usuage, so thank you for asking for our opinions!!




Hello everyone.....My name is Angel and I am a crazy cat lady! :Worn-out:

Hello everybody my name is Candys and I am a confirmed Crazy Cat Lady. Here is my sponsor. Dr. Sheen DMV.

 

[NightSpidy]

Quick story.. I had a coworker who was really cool and we got along pretty well. We joked about all kinds of humor. She came to work with a little patch around her neck. I jokingly said "that must be where you keep those crack rocks".

Holy crap!!!!!! Ok, when I read this, I just bust a gut laughing, a deep down belly-gut laugh b/c I was totally seeing it in my head with facial expressions and everything. This kinda humor would fit in perfectly in the ER dept where I work. However, she shoulda just said something to you first to try and resolve it.

 

[tessblack]

My opinion is this...I think you were justified in what you had said to her. Sounds to me like she is jealous of Gizzy. I had a friend like this once, and hell, I have behaved like your friend but it was towards another person......when I was 12. I find it pathetic that being a "good friend" she went to all the trouble of finding the pic of Gizzy on FB and sending you that completely unnecessary comment and then telling you she can say whatever she wants. Yes, she can say whatever the hell she wants, BUT friends don't go out of their way to be mean to one another and she went out of her way to be a snatch to you. She may not agree with Gizzy and/or how you spoil him, but it's not hurting you or anyone and it makes you happy. As your friend, she should want you to be happy. I think you should wait it out and let her come to you. If she really is a friend, she'll realize what an ass she's been and will apologize. If not.....well, there are lots of other people in the world. Life is too short to put up with people and their s**t. But that's just me :Laugh:

Have not heard the word Snatch in a long time.

 

[ilovemysphynx]

It to seems to me like she wants what she does not have. I am lucky enough to have all my friends and family understand, we have kids, dogs, fish and a turtle and I talk to them all the same yes even the turtle The only 2 problems I ever had was a cable man that was scared sh*t of the cats :Laugh: and one of our sons friends that is creeped out by the way they feel but she keeps her mouth shut and just doesn't touch them.
Our one neighbor has what he calls a man cave in his garage and there is always someone there having a beer or shooting pool, in the summer when Tom and I walk the cats around the yard they pick on Tom a bit for walking his cat but in the end they come over and pet them so it is just a joke.
If your friend is a good one I would try one more time to explain to her that your pets are special to you and that the things she says hurts your feelings, if she can not understand then well she was never a good friend.

 

[AmazonGoddess]

I think you did the right thing. A "friend" who goes out of their way to constantly insult something that means the world to you, is no friend. Especially after you've told them to stop and it's obvious it bothers you. Your "friend" is a bully and obviously enjoys belittling your baby in order to make herself feel better about something.

I've had friends over the years who did this. Would viciously criticize me or things I've done or things I enjoyed, and when I told them I was upset by it would say things like: "I believe in being honest and I was just being honest with you." or "Can't you take a joke?" The comments are neither "honesty" or "humour". They are simply spiteful and hurtful. The things that bully like to use to hurt others.

Congratulations for taking a stand. I can only hope that this person realizes what she's done and apologizes for it. If not, sometimes life is better without friends like that.

 

[Gizzymom]

I'm usually on the receiving end of those kind of tongue lashings. But usually people don't really realize how it affects the others. I surely don't sometimes.

Quick story.. I had a coworker who was really cool and we got along pretty well. We joked about all kinds of humor. She came to work with a little patch around her neck. I jokingly said "that must be where you keep those crack rocks". A couple day later I got a call from HR and had the situation explained. She used to be a drug user. I was rather angry that she didn't come to me first because I felt horrible and it made me feel even more horrible getting the entire office involved. It was only a joke and had no justification other than to be funny. I kinda felt like a kid in elementary school and was tattled on for eating cookies in class.

She simply sees a funny looking kitty that doesn't mean a whole lot to her. She probably thinks you feel the same way. Don't be too hard on her but make sure she knows your kitties are one of the most important things in your life. She wouldn't make snide remarks about your children would she?

Gizmo is my child... I do not have children - nor do I want them...

 

[Gizzymom]

Haven't heard anything yet....

But posted this on my FB page...

"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you" - Stacey Charter


I'm sure she'll comment since she is stalking my FB....

 

[wright878]

Hello, I am Terri and I am a crazy cat lady.

My friends/family tease me constantly about Abby, but they know not to cross the line, they know how much I love that little cat. My only comment is, was this person ever a good friend? Someone you care enough about to give another chance? As someone said earlier, some people are just toxic.

PLEASE post the pictures!