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New diagnosis and job loss

Sheldon13

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The last 6 months have been full of extreme stress for me. If I have not been as involved as I used to be, that is the reason. To summarize, I had trouble with being mistreated at work and eventually was pushed out of the new job I had just started in March. This all coincided with increasing symptoms of depression. The silver lining is that because of this and a poor response to medication, I elected to have a full psychological evaluation so that my diagnosis could be as accurate as possible and treated appropriately.

To go back a little, I have always known that I struggled socially and never had an easy time making friends. Looking back, it all makes sense.

A few years ago I picked up some charcoals and (with zero training or experience) was able to create this at the end of the first week of drawing:


As I’m sure you would acknowledge, this is highly unusual. Turns out it is simply one of the characteristics of my diagnosis.

I am Autistic.

It is nerve-wracking to state it out loud to a wide audience. I’ve known for a couple of months but have told very few people thus far. Thank you all, and especially they who reached out to me in support (you know who you are).

Stephanie


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Toa and Ross

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Dear, dear Stephanie,

With tears in my eyes I write you this. Dom't know what I want to say first so just start by saying: be proud of yourself and who you are! You are Ellie' loving mom, a loving, kind and caring member of sphynxlair, a very talented artist and if I know you better I would probably go on for a while. And besides all this thing you are Autistic, or as I prefer in Dutch (but don't know if it make sense in English), you have Autism. You have instead of you are cause you are so much more.

But I understand knowing you have autism/are autistic is a lot to deal with.
And with losing your job that's even worse. Sorry you have to go through all this. Hope you get support from people you love.

I'm here for you if you want to chat or just want to share. And keep making those charcoals cause they are stunning. Expressing so much feelings.

Love, Natasja
 

Catzzzmeow

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Wow...I give you huge kudos for sharing your life and diagnosis with us. You know you we are always here to help relieve stress and talk about the biggest joys in our lives...our babies. Your artwork is amazing...that elephant made me say WOW out loud.

Hopefully you now knowing what the diagnosis is you find life easier and can understand your life and make choices that fit rather than being made to feel do things that feel unnatural.

Count me in as well if you ever need to chat.
 

Xandria

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You are brilliant, amazing, loving, and very talented. While diagnosis is helpful for the future, you are also not your diagnosis. You are you. And you are amazing. Never forget that.

I am sorry to hear about the job loss, but I hope you eventually see this as a blessing. Being somewhere uncomfortable is not good for you. And you need to take care of YOU.

Your artistry is amazing. And I hope you continue to share your artworks with us (if you wish).

Sending you hugs and support.
 

Condo commando

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Hi Stephanie, I would have never guessed. To me you're sociable, intelligent and kind. It must be scary to get that diagnosis but now you can use that knowledge to your benefit.

When it comes to jobs, I've been there too. But I can tell you, there's a company out there that will be very happy to have you.

Much love and support sent your way!
 

StacyD

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Perhaps being able to open up about your diagnosis will take some pressure off you. Feeling the need to hide something is such a huge weight on us.
I was at my local supermarket last year and the cashier noticed I have 2 different colored eyes, something people rarely notice as I wear glasses and it conceals it. When I commented on how unusual it is anyone notices, she told me she's autistic and is practicing looking in peoples eyes when she speaks. She was so open about that fact.
And my daughter has anxiety and the stress of hiding that, coming up for reasons for missing school, just adds to her anxiety and stress.
As a teacher, and being able to know everyone's diagnosis, I have learned that we come in all different personalities and have appreciation for those differences.
Knowing your diagnosis will certainly only help your journey.
 

TatyanaMassey

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I havent been a member here long and am still getting to know everyone, but know that you are definitely in a safe place. I respect your decision so much to finally push for an evaluation, that must have been very scary for you. We all will be here to support and love you in any way you need! *hugs*
 

Sheldon13

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I just found out last night that I’m out for consideration for the job I applied for. I have to start from scratch AGAIN. This is the second job since last November that I got close to getting, only to have it ripped out from under me. I feel so hopeless and helpless. I’m so tired.


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Toa and Ross

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@Sheldon13 hang in there! I can imagine it's frustrating and you're feeling hopeless and helpless. I'm sure though you'll find a job. Such a kind, talented woman like you...how can they not all try to get you in board?! Hugs
 

MelissaAlice

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I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling to find work.
I can very much relate to that; rest assured that in the end the right job will find you!!
 

Condo commando

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I'm sorry you are going through this. The job search process can be very stressful but don't let it get you down because everyone goes through various rejections before they get hired. Remember the perfect job could come up at any time, so it's important to think positive and keep looking.
 

Yoda mom

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(((Hugs))$ and positve vibes!
We are here for you
 

Gaily

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Ive been diagnosed with Autism for 6-8yrs.
It gets easier over the years when you notice that somethings that seem normal might be difficult for you, you might have a great time with other things that are normally difficult for others.
The label Autism or Autistic isnt a bad one. Just means you learn differently. some people who are autistic are one of the most smartest people i know. heck. I maybe slow with things, but im very smart when it comes to learning animals and learning to do new things in art.

Just do one thing. Dont let it be a crutch, if you feel like you cant do something. Think, I can, It will just take longer for me to do it and thats okay.
I also have a hard time looking at people in the eyes. It actually pains me to do so with some when im not expecting it and someone stares me dead in the eye, i get panic-y. What i have learned with that is its okay to look away. take a deep breath and reset and try again.

You, from what i know of you, are a beautiful heart and love animals and other people. keep smiling.
also, That depression of yours. Try to kick it in the butt by playing something you like to do. or go for a walk if you can. if you cant play with your kitty cat if they will let you. or come contact me if you wish for someone to talk to. I'll always be there if i can catch the note quick enough.

And most of all, remember to smile. You are beautiful and there is no such things as normal.
as Mr. Universe says in steven universe "If every pork chop were perfect , we wouldn't have hotdogs " So make everything worth while even the bad. cause bad can turn good..
 

Silke

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Stephanie, I think all of us are more or less autistic. We just haven't been diagnosed. I wouldn't worry about it. You are a kind soul, and you feel deeply. There is nothing wrong with that.
I have some friends who have Aspergers, but honestly? It makes no difference. They told me, I said "Okay", and that was that. They struggle with some stuff, and are brilliant at other stuff. Same with everyone, really. :) Why would I treat them differently to anyone else?
Knowing about it only makes me understand that they struggle with some things, and make allowances.
In fact, a friend of mine has a son who was complaining that his handwriting is crap, and he hates taking notes, and... insert tantrum (He has severe Aspergers.)
When I went to visit her about 10 years ago, I brought a bunch of different fountain pens with me. Debbie went "omg ink!"
I gave Josh one of the pens and said try writing with that, and showed him how to use it.
He tried five different pens and found one he really liked writing with, and was delighted how much better his handwriting looked. "I have to find one like that!" he said.
"You already did. Keep this one. That's why I brought it." I replied.
He still writes with it every day, and just finished college. :)
--- His frustration stemmed from having to press down with a ballpoint pen, and his hand cramping, which made everything worse, and wound him up. No problem with the fountain pen. :) No more cramped hand, no more tantrums.
You just have to work with it, not against it, and find solutions that work for you. :)
I really wouldn't stress about it. :)
 

Cinafina

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@Sheldon13 I read this thread a bit back, but I didn't know what to say, as everything seemed to pale in comparison to all the wisdom and advice other members have shared. Nonetheless I wanted to say that I think it's great that you shared this, and I wish more people would talk openly about these things! After all, sooo many of us suffer from some kind of mental health issues at some point during our lives, and some our whole lives.

I really hope it has helped you Stephanie, during what has been a very tough few months for you! I have myself struggled with crippling depression since my mid teens, and it seems impossible to explain what it's like to someone that has never suffered from it... And as far as job searching, interviews etc goes, I'm doing that myself at the moment, and it really is a horrible process! It can be very hard on one's self confidence at the best of times, and really takes a toll on one's patience... Like others before me have said - hang in there!! Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, and things will come together for you, you'll see! :)

Take care and be kind to yourself!
/Carina
 

Sheldon13

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Thank you all for the continued support. I’m not doing well and I’m going to have to let go of my apartment lease. Not happy about that. Still looking for a job, though.


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Cinafina

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@Sheldon13 Oh no... I'm so sorry to hear that! How long before you have to move out? Are you able to move in with family or somewhere else..?
 

Yoda mom

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@Sheldon13 ((((hugs)) and head smooches to Ellie

So sorry you are going through all this :(

Someone on the lair once told me " You got this "

Sending a lair full of prayers for positive things to come !

Here for you sweetie

image.jpeg
 

Toa and Ross

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download.jpeg.jpg


@Sheldon13 so very sorry to hear this. Do you already have another appartment? So hope things will turn better for you soon. You deserve it. Sending positive vibes.
 

Sheldon13

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No, I don’t have another apartment. I’m having to let the lease go because I don’t have the income to continue paying for it since I don’t have a job right now. I will be moving in with a friend. I’m a loner, I’ve always lived alone, so I’m nervous about it.
 

Toa and Ross

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@Sheldon13 I'm a loner too so can imagine very well you feel nervous about living with a friend. But glad you can stay somewhere. Keeping my fingers crossed you'll find a job soon so you can go live on your own again.
 
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