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Not getting along!?!?

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So Dita has been here for 2 weeks today and I'm a bit worried, because at first she and Alice just hissed and then seemed fine with each other but now they're fighting!

Alice growls with her ears flat back and Dita stares and then jumps on her. Of course then Alice makes horrible blood curteling sounds that make my heart stop and I have to pull Dita off Alice and begin checking for wounds. So far they've both gotten a few scratches (nothing huge, a few on Alices head and back and Dita has a few on her legs and back, nothing bleeding but obvious scratches) I haven't seen any biting but I'm scared.

Alice probably weights about 5lbs, she's VERY petite. Dita however, is about 10 to 13lbs and I'm scared for my baby. Alice is a year and 3 months and Dita is 10 years.

Dita gets along with all the other cats, even plays a bit (the other cats are more her age though). But with Alice she's jumping on her and they fight, but I can't tell if Dita is trying to play, or maybe just put Alice in her place? Or is Dita trying to hurt poor Alice?

I just don't know what to do, my husband is ready to make me rehome Dita and I just CAN'T imagine doing that! :Cry: I just got her, I saved her! I just want them to be able to be in the same room. I have to keep Alice in the room with me and keep poor Dita out, now Dita thinks I'm mad at her!

Should I just wait it out and keep seperating them? Do I let them fight it out? Or do I have to find a better home for my Dita? I can't imagine sending her away, she's so sweet but she and Alice fight.....

I just don't know what to do, someone please help me, tell me what to do? I don't want anyone getting hurt, or sent away. I just want a happy kitty family! :Cry::Cry:
 

admin

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I know it's hard, but you need to give it a little more time. Here is an exercise to try. If you don't have one already get a toy like feathers on a stick or a stick with some type of toy on the end of the stick that both cats enjoy. The reason I recommend a toy like this instead of let's say a ball, is that you have complete control of it as apposed to a ball that is thrown across the room and the cats stray too far away to control them. Put the two cats is a common room of the house like the family room or living room. Have their favorite treats ready in hand. Find treats that they both really love and would come running for! Try something new at the pet store, like tasty chicken treats or something to that effect. Begin by trying to get them comfortably playing with the toy very close to one another. When they both play with the toy close to each other or together give a treat and lots and lots of praise at the same time. "Good girls, good kitties!" with some petting as well! If one of them act up like hissing or scratching, say "No, bad kitty, bad girl!" and put the culprit just outside the room facing in at the action of the other cat playing happily and being rewarded with a treat for 30 seconds to a minute or so. It may work better with a second person to hold the naughty cat and be sure they are watching the fun. The goal here is to have the cats relate playing and having fun "together" an enjoyable time that is rewarded with a treat. As with all exercises it may take time, be persistent and hopefully they will eventually get along! In your case two weeks is much too soon to make a decision. Hope this helps!
 

Bella07

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Wow. Hold on. You have ONLY had Dita for 2 weeks. That is not enough time to see how they adjust to one another....I mean, it's only been 2 weeks! When I bring home a new animal, I keep them seperated from my other animals for at least 2 weeks, if not a little more! I like to give my pets more than enough time to get used to their surroundings, even if they seem comfortable right off the bat. Then, after the 2 week period, I let the new addition meet my other animals, slowly, through a gradual intoduction.

In my opinion, you need to give it much more time. Giving Dita away after 2 weeks is not fair...Give it a few months even. It took my 2 cats around 3 months to get along with one another, and my big cat is a mean big bully, who is twice the size of my other cat. But, they learned to get along, given the proper amount of time.....

Please, I wouldn't get rid of Dita after two weeks....You need to give Dita more time to get aquainted with her surroundings and used to the others animals. I know that Dita went from one home where no one payed much attention to her, to a rescue, and now to your home. She has been tossed around a lot, and 2 weeks isn't a just amount of time to let anyone of the animals get used to their new additions.

When you see Alice and Dita starting to act aggressive to one another, seperate them. Let them have their own space and relax. In a few hours, put them back together. They will want to put each other in their place, and show who-who is the boss. That's completely normal. I wouldn't seperate them over a few hisses and growls. But, if they statt attacking one another, and look like they aren't playing, seperate them for a bit. Give in time. Patience is key.

When they are around eachother peacefully, make it a positive experience. Bring out the toys and have play time. Grab their favorite treats and give each kitty one. Give everyone an equal amount of cuddles and attention. Make it fun to be around one another! Let them know that they are a family now, and family's stick together, no matter what.

Patience really is the key to everything in this case.
Giving away Dita after two weeks is not the answer.......
 

kiennasmom

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Sorry to hear your babies aren't fast friends. When I brought Blue into the picture, he didn't get along with Kienna(RIP) at all!!! I would say it took at least 6 months of the techniques that the other members mentioned before I even felt comfortable enough to leave them alone together! They never got to be pals but at least they tolerated each other. I know it's sooooo frustrating!! Please don't give up on Dita yet. 2 weeks is a blink-of-an-eye in kitty time. It will probably take her a while to get used to a happy, loving environment. Best of luck!!
 
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Well put, Bella! Couldn't have said it better if I tried. I am in 1000% agreement. Don't rehome Dita. It's WAAAAAY too soon to even consider that.

Yeah tell my husband that! I don't want to rehome her AT ALL she's my baby, after the first 5 minutes I knew she was going to be my baby, but he's terrified she'll hurt Alice......men are mean.:Cry:
 
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I know it's hard, but you need to give it a little more time. Here is an exercise to try. If you don't have one already get a toy like feathers on a stick or a stick with some type of toy on the end of the stick that both cats enjoy. The reason I recommend a toy like this instead of let's say a ball, is that you have complete control of it as apposed to a ball that is thrown across the room and the cats stray too far away to control them. Put the two cats is a common room of the house like the family room or living room. Have their favorite treats ready in hand. Find treats that they both really love and would come running for! Try something new at the pet store, like tasty chicken treats or something to that effect. Begin by trying to get them comfortably playing with the toy very close to one another. When they both play with the toy close to each other or together give a treat and lots and lots of praise at the same time. "Good girls, good kitties!" with some petting as well! If one of them act up like hissing or scratching, say "No, bad kitty, bad girl!" and put the culprit just outside the room facing in at the action of the other cat playing happily and being rewarded with a treat for 30 seconds to a minute or so. It may work better with a second person to hold the naughty cat and be sure they are watching the fun. The goal here is to have the cats relate playing and having fun "together" an enjoyable time that is rewarded with a treat. As with all exercises it may take time, be persistent and hopefully they will eventually get along! In your case two weeks is much too soon to make a decision. Hope this helps!

Okay I'll try that, as it is they see each other and start hissing, they don't have any time before they hiss when they just hang out (it's Alice who starts it, Dita doesn't care until Alice starts being mean).

Thanks guys!
 
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Admin had excellent advice...

When I first brought Amaryllis home, Gable wanted to be friends with her so badly and she was not very nice to him. Then I guess he got sick of it and he started being mean to her! To the point he would jump on her and bite and then there was the humping (yes he is fixed)...

They would go at it and I would hear those same awful cat screams you hear. They couldn't even eat next to each other! I never thought they would even tolerate each other. This went on for at least a couple of months and then one day....

Gable always sleeps next to me on the bed and poor Amaryllis wanted to as well but they would fight any time one would come to lay down with the other. I woke up one morning to find them both snuggled up next to me on the bed! I literally got all teary!

Now they will play, eat from the same bowl and on occasion, lay down together with me. They will not share a cat bed or curl up on the couch together and sometimes Gable will growl and hiss at her if she tries to groom him or he doesn't want her close.

So tell your husband not to give up hope. It will just take some time. They need to establish pecking order. I would try to keep them both in the same room with you though. I think they will at least learn to tolerate each other.

Hugs,
Kris
 

MissMySphynxBoys

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I can't add to the great advice you have already been given. Transitions take time. Dita is an old girl and may not have been well socialized by her previous owners. Patience and consistency will help. Sending calming vibes to your hubby. Everything is going to work out.
 

Bella07

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Sorry, Sianne_and_Alice. After re-reading what I wrote, I hope you didn't take what I wrote as me being mean or offensive to you...I would never want that! I was trying to give my best advice....and since I volunteer at a shelter, I see way too many times when people adopt a new animal, and a week or two later, return the kitty to the shelter because of similar cases. It makes me sad, and I can get a bit touchy on the subject :Cry: I wish only the best of luck to you and your kitty family.
 

sydkat7

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I wouldn't worry too much if I were you; when I first brought Piglet home two years ago, she had to share a new household with two snooty Siamese cats who've been there for years and years. There were some hisses and fights at first for about two or three weeks; then they all got used to each other and started getting along. I guess my Siamese realized that Piglet was going to be a permanent fixture in the house, so it was easier to get along with her than keep fighting with her. Hopefully in time, your two cats will come to the same conclusion my cats did and will start to get along. It does take some time, though; I would give it at least a month or two before making any decisions.
 

lemmysmommy

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I think the others gave some pretty good advice and since I only have one cat, I can not add anything. I hope that your husband will give Dita a little more time so that things can work out. Good Luck!!
 
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Sorry, Sianne_and_Alice. After re-reading what I wrote, I hope you didn't take what I wrote as me being mean or offensive to you...I would never want that! I was trying to give my best advice....and since I volunteer at a shelter, I see way too many times when people adopt a new animal, and a week or two later, return the kitty to the shelter because of similar cases. It makes me sad, and I can get a bit touchy on the subject :Cry: I wish only the best of luck to you and your kitty family.

Yeah I was a little scared....but I understand. I volunteer with two shelters down here so I see the same thing, I've seen how stupid people can be. If for any reason I couldn't keep Dita I would find her a good home, with people who would love her and treat her like a member of the family. BUT I have NO plans of doing that unless I absolutely have too.

For now I just want to give them time but I didn't know if I was living on false hope.
 

Bella07

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Well, I know how much you love your babies, are a wonderful mommy to them, and are giving it your all when it comes to their best interest! There's no doubt about that. It can just be a sensitive subject for me, so sorry I don't want to have scared you....But, either way, it'll work out given time! Best of Luck to you and your family!
 

ckutkuhn7

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you've received great advice - goodluck with the new techniques that have been suggested and hope things calm down soon!
 
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