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Paw Prints On My Heart Forever

Zeusandmum

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May 22, 2018
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None of you will know me, as I've never posted to this site, but instead have used it to read about sphynx cats often.
Zeus was my three year old sphynx baby. Born June 21 2015. He passed away suddenly last Friday, January 25 2019.
He was my best friend and my baby, and I'm having a really hard time with the grieving process.

Zeus started suffering from seizures in November 2018. He would pee and flail around and meow really weird. The vets couldn't figure it out. He was on an anticonvulsant and over the span of the last three months, they would come and go and sometimes he would seem fine and sometimes not.

He passed away and I was so shocked. I left for work the the weekend (work out of town) and my boyfriend called me with the bad news that evening. He found him in the litter box, already gone, when he came home.
I felt mortified, and still do, knowing I wasn't home for him.
Because of his seizures, I created a space for him in the bathroom with his food, blankets, and litter. This kept him from having a seizure on the furniture and near the stairs and falling and hurting himself more than he already would.
I left for work that morning in such a rush, I don't even think I said goodbye to him. I woke up late and was running behind and when I left I think I just closed the door without even saying goodbye.
That hurts my heart the most.

he was so young, only being 3 and a half. I thought I still had so many years with him.
Now I feel an emptiness without him. I feel guilt and sadness. My heart is broken that I no longer have him to snuggle with at night, to jump up on my shoulder, to play fetch with.
How does one get over this? I don't feel like I ever will be able to stop hurting from this.
 

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Catzzzmeow

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss and that your baby got their wings. Hopefully in time you are able to keep the best memories closest to your heart. For us we found opening our hearts to another baby really helped us heal. Zeus knew nothing but your love and another baby deserves that same kind of love if and when you are ready. We never looked at getting babies replacements we looked at them as additions. Hugs are sent.
 

Beckinboots

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Dec 22, 2018
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So sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy but as others have said, time will help. You clearly loved Zeus and he would have known that so don't beat yourself up over not saying goodbye or being there at the end. In my experience cats don't understand goodbyes they understand routine and Zeus would have known that his mum was coming home to give him snuggles like she always had. I hope your heartache eases.
 

StacyD

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Feb 21, 2017
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My heart breaks for you. I hope you judge your relationship with Zeus by how you loved on him as a whole, and not on one small moment in time. I'm sure he knew how much you did for him, how much you loved him, & how special he was to you.
 

Toa and Ross

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So very sorry for the loss of your boy Zeus. It’s heartbreaking to lose your boy at such a young age. You surrounded him with love, created a safe haven for him to make sure he couldn’t get hurt when he got a seizure. Zeus knew you loved him deeply and that’s what matters. So please be gentle to yourself. Remember all the good times you shared together and the moments you shared your love. Big hugs.
 

Sheldon13

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Please love yourself and take care of yourself during this time. You will never get over this, it will only hurt less with time. And that’s ok. You will always remember and treasure him and one day you will look back and the good memories will overshadow any bad ones. You obviously cared for him deeply and did the very best you could for him in these last few months. I know he felt loved and protected.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 

Lynn W

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I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby Zeus. He was such a beautiful boy. He knew only love from you and you made him a wonderful Sphynx Mama. It takes time for you to heal, but I hope you will find a place in your heart for a new baby to love, one day soon.:  (
 

Zeusandmum

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May 22, 2018
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Thank you all for the kind words of support and love, and also for your healing tips. It has been hard and I've been unable to find the energy to clean up his stuff and gather it all. Sphynx cats are such a special breed. I've never experienced the kind of affection from any other animal that I did from Zeus. Even with my dog, Zeus was always still my best buddy.

I know it'll take time to heal. I loved him so much.
 

MelissaAlice

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My heart is breaking for you.
There are many of here for have felt this loss. There even many of us here who feel guilt (misplaced at it may be) over the loss of our babies.
The ache you feel, the guilt, it will ease. This I can promise you. Even though you can't image a time when you won't have the throbbing pain in your chest, that day will come.
It comes slowly but it does come.

I agree with other; sometimes opening your heart to a new baby in need helps.
You'll know when you are ready for that step.

Until then please know you can lean on the family here.
There is always someone here who is happy to listen.

Take care of yourself and stay strong. It's what Zeus would want for you.
 

Yoda mom

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@Zeusandmum I am so so sorry your handsome best buddy Zeus got his angel wings .
Zeus only knew your love . Your love for Zeus leaps off the page .
You have the lair family here ...always .

"Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever. "
-from poem for cats



((( comforting hugs))))

90670
90671
90672
 

JSal

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@Zeusandmum I could feel your sorrow and loss, reading your post. I’m so sorry. I lost my 14 year old sphynx, Dodi, last year about this time and I felt very much like you do. I was so sad and angry. In part to help me heal, I joined sphynxlair and received support from others. I talked about how I was feeling. I cried. I started donating to sphynx rescues that truly help poor kitties that are suffering, and ultimately, I decided to rescue another. You can’t replace your love for Zeus, but you can find joy and love with another. I cry for you, and I’m sorry Zeus was taken at such a young age.
 

LuxorInTheNude

Lairian
Joined
Jan 31, 2019
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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Luxor suddenly just over 3 weeks ago and I can completely commiserate with how you are feeling. I, too, was not home when my boy passed and I have been wracked with guilt with all of the "what if's." I am certain that Zeus knew how much you loved him without you having to say it. It sounds like you gave him the best life and best chance at life that anyone could. I have found comfort, or what little comfort there is to be found after such a profound loss, in the sphynx community. I hope you find peace as well. May we hope Zeus and Luxor are happy together across the rainbow bridge. <3
 

Zeusandmum

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May 22, 2018
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Thanks so much in welcoming me in the community everyone with all your stories, compassion, sympathy, and just kind words.
Knowing there are people out there who understand this pain gives me a sense of relief. When you talk to people at work or in your circle, they never quite grasp it unless they've gone through it themselves... some people are pet people, some people have never experienced death of a beloved pet(this is the first time I'm feeling this), and they just don't really understand it. And although they try to comfort you, they just don't really get it.

This community, although I just joined in the conversation this week, has been a safe space to talk about the grief in a way I didn't think possible. Even though not all have lost a pet, you understand what kind of special love a sphynx gives to their human and you can understand the sorrow even not being in my shoes before.
And those of you who have lost a beloved bald baby, I grieve with you and I thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts on it.

It's been a tough week as today has now marked one day since he's been gone. My house is quiet, my bed isn't as warm and cuddly, it's a lot easier to cook and clean the kitchen without my baby running up and down the counters.
 

Staceyxxx

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Jun 17, 2017
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God bless you, am so sorry for your loss! Take time for yourself, maybe take a few days of work if you can! Come on here and chat with us when you feel low, I honestly can’t imagine your pain! Sending you love from Scotland xxx
 

SuperSphynxMom

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Aug 1, 2018
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I'm so sorry for your loss of your baby Zeus. You will remember him forever and he will always be in your heart.
Take all the time you need to feel better. Losing a baby is hard, especially a young one, but he will always be in your heart.
 

Condo commando

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I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure Zeus knew you loved him. Give yourself time to grieve. Needless to say we never forget them, but the pain becomes less over time. Hugs.
 

Annejo12

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Aug 8, 2017
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Guilt is such a horrible feeling we all put on ourselves. I am confident your baby knew how much you loved him even if you didn't say goodbye on that dreadful day. My thoughts are with you and hope you will find joy in your memories soon.
 
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