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Please help. I’m not ok.

Baby Luna

Lairian
Joined
Jul 15, 2015
Messages
36
Points
44
Hi everyone, I’m lost and don’t know what’s best for my cats. My ex and I had 2 Sphynx and one Russian blue together. We broke up 2 years ago and have been swapping the cats every few months. 9, 7, and 5 years old.

Luna gets a rash sometimes and we don’t know why, stress maybe. We’ve been to a few vets. Treated her for dermatitis. It came back. Binx poops in the carrier during transport. Boops makes herself small and doesn’t move when she’s stressed.

When they arrive to either house they seem to settle right in. But what do I know? Cats adapt and act ok….but are they stressed?

We’re both moving in a month. On the same day. I’m supposed to get the cats back Aug.1

Now this ex is moving 2 hours away. They told me they’ll do all the driving possibly every 4 months and we can medicate the cats.

Financially it’s hard for me to take care of three cats full time. I feel it’s best for them to stay in one place. I feel it’s best for them to stay put w their dad but this is an incredibly painful thought for me. I don’t think we should be selfish.

I wanted support from other people that love their cats as much as I do. I don’t know what to do. Thank you and love to you.
 

Yoda mom

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Messages
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@Baby Luna ,biggest hugs to you. we are here for you.

It sounds like babies are stressed from the back and forth from your details.
I personally find cats not like some dogs and more sensitive to constant change which can affect their health.

it's such a heartfelt decision to do right by them.

and in your own words, feel it's best for them to stay in one place and with their dad, considering finances, constant travel, stress.
(I have been thru breakups involving nakids and furbabies. it tugs at the heart no doubt I know too well. )

it's a decision made from selfless love to to right by them. It does not mean you love them anyless if they stay in one place with their dad. (is he able to take all 3 where he is moving? time for them? able to take care financially any medical needs?)

we are here for you. hugs n head smooches to all paws.
 

Catzzzmeow

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Messages
35,418
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You are trusting not only your gut, but your head and above all thinking about what will be best for them. It is amazing you are able to put aside your own desire to have them with you even part time. A 2 hour drive is not right round the corner and if the stress from traveling is taking a toll on them physically and emotionally you are definitely doing what is best for them. We are here for you.


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Last edited:

Baby Luna

Lairian
Joined
Jul 15, 2015
Messages
36
Points
44
@Baby Luna ,biggest hugs to you. we are here for you.

It sounds like babies are stressed from the back and forth from your details.
I personally find cats not like some dogs and more sensitive to constant change which can affect their health.

it's such a heartfelt decision to do right by them.

and in your own words, feel it's best for them to stay in one place and with their dad, considering finances, constant travel, stress.
(I have been thru breakups involving nakids and furbabies. it tugs at the heart no doubt I know too well. )

it's a decision made from selfless love to to right by them. It does not mean you love them anyless if they stay in one place with their dad. (is he able to take all 3 where he is moving? time for them? able to take care financially any medical needs?)

we are here for you. hugs n head smooches to all paws.
This is so helpful thank you so so much
 

nudebea

V.I.P Lairian
V.I.P Lairian
Joined
Sep 14, 2014
Messages
1,256
Points
218
My heart goes out to you, it must be such a difficult decision. You clearly think the world of them, trust in that love for them to make the right decision for all of you xx
 

Yana and Osiris

Lairian
Joined
Sep 5, 2022
Messages
200
Points
51
If your ex doesn't mind cats to stay with you, could they transfer money as in "cat-child support" occasionally to help you feed them at least? Separating with fur babies is extremely hard. Been there and feel you and sending you supportive vibes {}{}{}
 
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