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Sphynx parents missing love xo

RoseTron

Lairian
Joined
Mar 23, 2017
Messages
3
Points
14
Hello,

My husband and I were proud parents of our little buddy Frankie. He came into our lives a couple years ago and we became a little family instantly. We gave him so much love and he gave us all of his back. They are such amazing creatures and he bonded with us in such a deep way we never expected. This summer, HCM took him from us at the age of 2.5 years old and shocked and shook us to the core. It all happened so fast, and we only had hours to understand what had what wrong and that there was absolutely nothing we could do to save him. Honestly, I think Saying goodbye was the hardest thing we have had to in our lives, sounds silly but it’s true. We still think of him everyday day, and try to remember that we were the lucky ones to be his family while he was here with us, even though it felt so unfair for him as he was so young. Xoxo
It is now fall and we are struggling to understand what we should do next. We are always talking about bringing another little naked buddy into our lives as we miss that special bond and relationship. But we are also unsure if it’s just us still missing the hell outta of Frankie. How long does it take to mourn? It it selfish of us to want to bring another sphynx into our lives after just a few months? Should we wait longer or is it ok to want to love another? We know all kitties are their own little self, and we don’t want to just fill the void. But We just want that love back in our lives.... we are forever sphynx people if you know what I mean.
Let me know your thoughts as we want to be sure we make the right decision for kitty and us <3
Thank you for listening <3
 

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TheZu

Lairian
Joined
Dec 6, 2017
Messages
222
Points
71
I am so sorry for your loss, it is truly heart breaking.

To be honest, I think there is something about a sphynx that opens your heart up to love, and to love again. More often than not, I think we become too afraid of others thoughts and different stigmas than we are of anything else. Have I not mourned enough? Am I just replacing? These are valid questions, but I think they are born more out of fear of opinion than of what your heart is telling you.

You know that your home has the capacity, the energy, the supplies and the understanding to care for this kind of addition to your family. And, even in getting another naked, there will be more waiting time, etc. You spent two years with Frankie, you know what is required in being a responsible pet owner. Putting aside the emotions, ask if your ready for the practical responsibilities of pet ownership first. I think the answer is yes, as you've already done so, and I think you know it's "yes" as well. Impulsive decisions tend to come more from a place of ignorance, it's hard to make a rash choice on impulse when you know full well what you're getting into.

Mourning is something that can't be measured. There is no "sad enough" or "not sad enough". There is no expiration date, or best as date. You don't have to have mourned a certain amount of time, and if there was, how could anyone know what it was? If you're worried the most about taking home another Sphynx as a replacement - to fill an emotional void - well, I think there's always a little bit of that in these kinds of decisions. But only in the sense that you see an empty spot in your family that you have room to love in. If you aren't focused solely on the love you expect to get , but the love you can give to this new addition, I think that is the key. You know any new addition will be it's own kitty self.

If you're absolutely consumed with grief that it is paralyzing your day to day to the point of being unable to function, then I would suggest some counselling and to wait. To me, that would be a sign that you aren't ready - and really, it's because it doesn't meet the first need: Are you practically ready and capable.
 

MeadowThorne

Lairian
Joined
Aug 12, 2019
Messages
55
Points
19
Its never too soon for a new sphynx ...your not disrespectful of your old one by not waiting. So sad to hear you lost him n so quickly.
If anything a new additions will bring joy n replace sorry n depression.
A precious baby might be needing a good loving home and no need to deprive you or them of that.
just thought hope I don't offend
 

Jeanhill72

Senior Lairian
Senior Lairian
Joined
Jul 11, 2019
Messages
340
Points
113
I am so sorry for your loss. Don't think of a new baby as replacing your old baby, because that just can't happen. I lost my first Sphynx to FIP and was devastated. I knew within a few days that I had to have another ASAP because they bring so much joy to my home. I was in contact with my breeder during the FIP diagnosis and she was kind and helpful through it all. Once Rajah passed, she let me know she had just had another litter, and I went out and picked out my new baby a couple of weeks after. He came home about 3 months later, ahd he has made y family so happy. It was so hard to say goodbye, and Walter will never replace Rajah, be he sure helps fill the emptyness left behind. It is a very personal decision, and I think you need to bring another baby in when YOU feel you are ready.
 

Yoda mom

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
15,510
Points
653
@RoseTron welcoming you and your husband to the lair family.. I am so so sorry your bestie Frankie got his angel wings ... He only knew your love.. thank you for sharing very precious pictures.

I too lost my Yoda girl from HCM at age 2. its a heartache like no other.
I miss her dearly. In her honor I adopted and kept her avatar pic to remind me of all the love we will forever share. I truly believe they send us the one to love like they knew in this world.

your hearts will know...

here for you ((((hugs))))
 

RoseTron

Lairian
Joined
Mar 23, 2017
Messages
3
Points
14
Thank you so much for the support and thoughts. This site is such an amazing platform to be able to communicate with amazing people. I so appreciate you all for reaching out to me to help make a big decision. Much love to each of you and your naked baby family xo
 

RoseTron

Lairian
Joined
Mar 23, 2017
Messages
3
Points
14
I am so sorry for your loss, it is truly heart breaking.

To be honest, I think there is something about a sphynx that opens your heart up to love, and to love again. More often than not, I think we become too afraid of others thoughts and different stigmas than we are of anything else. Have I not mourned enough? Am I just replacing? These are valid questions, but I think they are born more out of fear of opinion than of what your heart is telling you.

You know that your home has the capacity, the energy, the supplies and the understanding to care for this kind of addition to your family. And, even in getting another naked, there will be more waiting time, etc. You spent two years with Frankie, you know what is required in being a responsible pet owner. Putting aside the emotions, ask if your ready for the practical responsibilities of pet ownership first. I think the answer is yes, as you've already done so, and I think you know it's "yes" as well. Impulsive decisions tend to come more from a place of ignorance, it's hard to make a rash choice on impulse when you know full well what you're getting into.

Mourning is something that can't be measured. There is no "sad enough" or "not sad enough". There is no expiration date, or best as date. You don't have to have mourned a certain amount of time, and if there was, how could anyone know what it was? If you're worried the most about taking home another Sphynx as a replacement - to fill an emotional void - well, I think there's always a little bit of that in these kinds of decisions. But only in the sense that you see an empty spot in your family that you have room to love in. If you aren't focused solely on the love you expect to get , but the love you can give to this new addition, I think that is the key. You know any new addition will be it's own kitty self.

If you're absolutely consumed with grief that it is paralyzing your day to day to the point of being unable to function, then I would suggest some counselling and to wait. To me, that would be a sign that you aren't ready - and really, it's because it doesn't meet the first need: Are you practically ready and capable.
 

Toa and Ross

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
23,648
Points
643
So sorry for the loss of your boy Frankie. What a handsome cuddle bug he was.
As @Catzzzmeow always says "and the beat goes on". Loving a new sphynx doesn't mean you replace Frankie, it only says you honour him by continu the love.
 

Sheldon13

Gold Lairian
Notable Member
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
3,579
Points
328
This is absolutely heartbreaking to read. HCM is truly such an ugly disease that takes far too many kitties from their families far too soon. My condolences.

I agree with what has been said so far. I think if your heart aches for another Sphynx you should honor that. Maybe Frankie is sending you a new nakid to love...


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