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Was sent this and LOL'd alot!!

Mug-ys mumma

V.I.P Lairian
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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Sphynx Cats:



The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails and paws straight out to maximise space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go clean/sniff butt etc. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want them in your lap, stay off the furniture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, fuzzy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...

LOL! :LOL::LOL::LOL:
 

2sphynxgirl

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As I read this I have 2 sphynx on my lap & a furry kitty on my feet...I laughed so hard everyone sat up, gave me a dirty loom and went back to sleep!

Too funny - thanks for sharing!!!!:LOL::LOL:
 

Jocy24

V.I.P Lairian
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OMG. Those are so true. Sharing the bed and bathroom privacy especially so. Harry loves to jump on my lap while I'm using the bathroom. I just though he was weird.:Dizzy:
 

kiennasmom

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I love the one about the king-sized bed. So true-- It's apparently not adequate for one short human and 2 cats..... lol
 
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