Coping with loss

[Charmie]

So as some of you know who read my first post we lost one of our cat babies Saturday morning. At this point I'm crying my eyes out everyday since then. A little over a year ago whe lost our first kitty Koeshke. I had her since I was 17 and her death completely devastated me. She was in hospital for 4 days and the vet did everything he could think of to try and figure out what was wrong with her but he couldn't and she died during the night. He asked if he could do an autopsy which revealed she had under developed kidneys and we were lucky she lived as long as she did. I took 3 months before I was back to acting a bit more normal and then decided to get Dalila as a friend for our other kitty Meeko coz he was definitely lonely after losing Koeshke. So now a little over a year later we lost Meeko as well. He was fine Saturday morning, running around playing and then he had an asthma attack. He died in my arms on the way to the vet and I just can't get the way he looked out of my head. I never felt so helpless, I saw how much pain he was in and I couldn't do anything. when we got to the vet I knew he was gone but I still begged her to do something. We buried him next to Koeshke, now they're together again. Im so afraid of losing Dalila, I just cant imagine going trough so much pain, guilt and sadness again. I don't cope so well with losing my animal kids and most of my friends will tell me it's just a cat coz they don't understand the bond we form with our pets. The house is so quiet and lonely now. Meeko was a very chatty kitty, he was only 4 years old.

Sorry for the long post. Its just hard to keep everything inside

 

[PrimateLove]

Thank you so much for sharing! Losing a pet is losing a family member. It takes time to heal I am so sorry you have had to go through this. It always bring a sliver of comfort to me knowing that they are no longer in pain, but my selfish side always wants them in my arms.

Stay strong and focus on Dalila, give her all the kisses that little girl can stand. You did everything you could for your babies and they know how much you love them!!!

Hugs to you!

 

[ZiggyStardust]

I fully understand. I cried for months when we lost Ziggy 'cause it was just so unfair and I still tear up thinking about him. And I'll never forget finding Squeaks gone one morning or the abruptness of losing our sweet baby girl, Obi, and wondering what I could've done to prevent it. I try to take comfort in knowing they're all together playing and one day I'll see them again. Give Dalila lots of cuddles and playtime and when you're ready Meeko will send you the perfect companion for Dalila and your family. ::HUGS::

 

[Emily0404]

So sorry for your double loss I cried for what felt like forever when I lost Nala to FIP. She was only 1 years old. It's good to share these things. When I lost Brian 2 months ago, the lair was a fantastic place to help me in my healing- along with the addition of khaleesi and Luna praying that you find some comfort soon

 

[Catzzzmeow]

You came to the right place for support. We lost our leeloo almost a year ago, and it was devastating since it was not expected. They truly are our babies. It might take a long time to get the negative image out of your head. It is normal. Come hang with us in The Lair and share pics of your Dahlia and I promise you will start to feel better in time.

Patti

 

[Charmie]

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. It does help to talk. With Koeshke I didn't want to talk to anyone I just kept to myself and I took so long before I was ready to face the world again. The worst part is with both our babies we had no idea anything was wrong. They always went for their yearly vet checks and not once dit our vet find anything wrong or abnormal. When Koeshke got ill they thought it was just a hairball and not the x-rays or blood test or anything revealed anything more serious. They were both healty happy cats and it just makes you break inside when they leave so suddenly.

 

[nfaerie]

I know the feeling of your loss. Even though they weren't cats, I had two rats a few years ago that we're my best friends. One of them got sick suddenly, I did everything I could with the vet but she was wasting away. She was on her death bed, so I decided to euthanise her. It was such a hard decision. I know what you mean by the look they give you. When I was handing my poor darling rat to the vet in final goodbye, she tried coming after me. I am crying now just thinking about it. I patted her some more. And it was only like six months later that my other rat died from a stroke in the space of like ten minutes. It has been three years and I still cry. Only this year did I want to open my heart to another animal. So I got my cleopatra.

 

[assibassi]

They always stay in our Heart and we always cry ... I still cry over my regular Hairy Cat Homer that passed in 2006 , I had him as a little kitten and he grew to be almost 14. For a long time I did not want another cat and 3 years later my Husband told me to get in the Car and he had a surprise for me ... we got our Cornish Rex that day, Hansel and I am glad we got him! I needed a push and my husband gave me that push. It hurts but we have to think of the good times we had with them too... the cuddle times and play times or just the funny things they did for us that made us laugh.

 

[GoldHazel]

So as some of you know who read my first post we lost one of our cat babies Saturday morning. At this point I'm crying my eyes out everyday since then. A little over a year ago whe lost our first kitty Koeshke. I had her since I was 17 and her death completely devastated me. She was in hospital for 4 days and the vet did everything he could think of to try and figure out what was wrong with her but he couldn't and she died during the night. He asked if he could do an autopsy which revealed she had under developed kidneys and we were lucky she lived as long as she did. I took 3 months before I was back to acting a bit more normal and then decided to get Dalila as a friend for our other kitty Meeko coz he was definitely lonely after losing Koeshke. So now a little over a year later we lost Meeko as well. He was fine Saturday morning, running around playing and then he had an asthma attack. He died in my arms on the way to the vet and I just can't get the way he looked out of my head. I never felt so helpless, I saw how much pain he was in and I couldn't do anything. when we got to the vet I knew he was gone but I still begged her to do something. We buried him next to Koeshke, now they're together again. Im so afraid of losing Dalila, I just cant imagine going trough so much pain, guilt and sadness again. I don't cope so well with losing my animal kids and most of my friends will tell me it's just a cat coz they don't understand the bond we form with our pets. The house is so quiet and lonely now. Meeko was a very chatty kitty, he was only 4 years old.

Sorry for the long post. Its just hard to keep everything inside

Charmie, I'm struggling to see my monitor right now. I have to keep a box of tissues on my computer desk.
I KNOW EXACTLY what you are talking about and feeling. The first pet that I had to put down YEARS ago took me at least three months to act sociable again! I cried every single day for at least three months. Goldie was my golden retriever with a heart of gold. If we had leftover steak from dinner and put it in her bowl, she'd obviously run right over to it to gobble up the yummy meat. BUT when my cats would run over there too to investigate what was in her bowl that smelled terrific, my Goldie literally backed up and allowed the cats to pick first! What dog does that? She was incredible and still cry over her.

I don't care what people think. The ones that are ignorant and say that it's just a pet...you can get another pet, etc. are just existing day to day without ever having experienced true unconditional love. Pets have brightened my life soooo much since I was a child. I could NEVER EVER live without them.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through losing your babies. Please know that they are at peace now...have crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge and you will be reunited one day. Please take out photos of happier times with them and concentrate on that and not on the visions on the way to the vet the other day.

Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve. You can send me a message anytime you want.
I wish you the best. BIGGEST hugs to you.

 

[Charmie]

Thank you everyone for all your support. We have all lost pets that we loved so so much. I'm so lucky to have come on to a place where everyone cares so much! It's always hard to move on but with other people to help you through makes it easier.

GoldHazel your post made me tear up again but it made me feel at peace. Something I haven't felt since Saturday.

Hugs to everyone!

 

[susi794]

Dear Charmie,
First of all, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. To lose one of our babies is tragic at the best of times, but when it comes unexpectedly it is far worse because we haven't had the time to realize we are giving them the last gift there is to give....to cross over the Bridge surrounded by the family they love. Instead of focusing on the look on the way to the vet, console yourself with the knowledge that he was not alone--you were there to ease his fears and make his transition from this life to the next easier....we should all be so lucky as to be in the arms of someone we love when it is our time to go. I believe that your baby is with the angels now.....running free, playing hard and when the day is done, I bet he is curled up on an angel's lap, telling them what a good mama he had. I think he will send you another kitty that needs a mama just like you to make his or her life better. And what a wonderful homage to the love you shared with Meeko--a love like that is just too good to waste grieving what you have lost. Instead, celebrate the love you shared and give it to another baby who needs your love. I promise you that Meeko would approve. He wouldn't want you to be miserable for months....that's not what loving him was about. And love, my friend, is everything.
Reach out to us if you need us. We're here and there isn't a one of us that doesn't understand.
Hugs,
Susi and the gang

 

[GoldHazel]

Thank you everyone for all your support. We have all lost pets that we loved so so much. I'm so lucky to have come on to a place where everyone cares so much! It's always hard to move on but with other people to help you through makes it easier.

GoldHazel your post made me tear up again but it made me feel at peace. Something I haven't felt since Saturday.

Hugs to everyone!

Oh gee, now you have me tearing up all over again. LOL Seriously though.
I'm SO PLEASED to hear that you at least had a moment of feeling at peace. I hope it lasts. Just know that you will probably feel this way for a while. Take your time grieving. I'm here for you if you want to send me a message, Hon.

(I wrote this to you HOURS and HOURS ago, but just accidentally noticed that it never got sent! I'm glad I noticed it now)...sorry.

 

[Charmie]

Thanks Susi for you message. Meeko was in a way more my husband's kitty. He just couldn't wait till my husband got home in the afternoon so he can curl up in his lap. I showed him all the messages and I think it gave him some comfort to.

Its difficult to see him cry coz when I lost Koeshke he was stong for me and now I need to be strong for him and when we're both falling apart it's hard.

He asked me if we could get another baby. I dont know if its to soon but I said yes. Maybe it would cheer the house up abit and I think Dalila wouldn't mind having a new friend to chase around!

I really can't thank you guys enough. Talking to you has helped me so much.

 

[GoldHazel]

Thanks Susi for you message. Meeko was in a way more my husband's kitty. He just couldn't wait till my husband got home in the afternoon so he can curl up in his lap. I showed him all the messages and I think it gave him some comfort to.

Its difficult to see him cry coz when I lost Koeshke he was stong for me and now I need to be strong for him and when we're both falling apart it's hard.

He asked me if we could get another baby. I dont know if its to soon but I said yes. Maybe it would cheer the house up abit and I think Dalila wouldn't mind having a new friend to chase around!

I really can't thank you guys enough. Talking to you has helped me so much.

Being that your husband asked if you both can get another baby is surely a sign that he's ready. Being that you said yes just confirms that. Personally I don't understand people that lose a pet and say that they'll NEVER get another one because they NEVER want to go through that again.
Well, who ever wants to go through the heart ache of losing a pet? Nobody obviously. But to never give back that love to another pet and to never receive their unconditional love again is so wrong and selfish in my mind.
You and your husband apparently have big hearts and need to share your love with another new baby. It will most certainly brighten up your home. The both of you will be smiling again and Dalila will appreciate it too.

 

[Charmie]

No matther how much it hurts I wont ever be able to live without pets. They give so much joy and happiness and definitely make life more worth living!

I know a few people that lost a pet and never got another one and I feel so sad for them.

 

[GoldHazel]

No matther how much it hurts I wont ever be able to live without pets. They give so much joy and happiness and definitely make life more worth living!

I know a few people that lost a pet and never got another one and I feel so sad for them.

You sound EXACTLY like me. I could never ever ever ever live without pets. I might as well not exist if I couldn't have a pet.

 

[Charmie]

I feel exactly the same way! We have a variety of pets on the farm and I love them all even the tarantula!

 

[GoldHazel]

I feel exactly the same way! We have a variety of pets on the farm and I love them all even the tarantula!

Oh gee, you have a farm? When I was a little girl, my mom said that she would love to have a small farm. I got so excited and would have LOVED so much to grow up on a farm. I wanted it so much that I could have tasted it. LOL Well, apparently it was just a dream of my mom's because we never got our little farm.

 

[Charmie]

We have a small family farm. Its better than staying in town. Its quiet and having lots of open space is really peaceful.

 

[Embracing-Joyx4]

It is so sad when you lose a pet I know from personal experience it leaves a bruise on your heart.
So sorry for your loss.

Peace
Christina

 

[cleozmama]

I'm do sorry for your losses and hope your broken heart is on the mend.

 

[Charmie]

I'm do sorry for your losses and hope your broken heart is on the mend.

Thanks Cleozmama. Luckily with Dalila by my side and Oliver new to the household we seem to be coping

 

[GoldHazel]

Thanks Cleozmama. Luckily with Dalila by my side and Oliver new to the household we seem to be coping

I'm glad to hear that you're coping. I wish you well.

 

[MaoSphynx]

Can I chime in?

My AG(African Grey) flew away 2 years ago.We kept his cage on the balcony.I was going to get him inside because it was getting cold(it was winter).Opening the door and seeing that he was sitting on top of it scared me.I ran to pick him up but he took.Searched for him for 2 hours at night and all of next morning.I left my phone at home,so I received many missed calls from a neighbor who was the same age as me.My mother was away that night(Thursday).
I acted stupidly by running to grab him instead of walking carefully to him.He knew some words and could talk