Toby unsettled at bedtime Since Yoda got his angel wings :(

[Yoda mom]

@Catzzzmeow , @Sheldon13 , and all, poor Toby... any ideas? (no diffusers as years ago made him growl and angry). I read some cats can grieve up to 6 mos . I don't want to medicate him with buspirone or anything. may just have to let it takes it's course.

when it is bedtime and I tap the blankets and call their names to tuck them in Toby goes into stress mode... he must miss Yoda being tucked in too

Toby gets fidgety, low moan meow pacing , tail twitching, looking around looking up down everywhere and where I found Yoda when he got his angel wings. Toby keeps me up all night pacing , meowing, searching high and low, then running on his exercise wheel low slow depressing stress like meows, gets off , back on, then he sits for 2 minutes next to me ,I tuck him in, then he jumps up looks at yodas picture on the nightstand and starts to process all over... for hours. by morning he is tired and sleeping.

Toby has always been the sensitive kitty. Batman looks around and is doing okay . plays eats fine vocal active and Toby comforts him, grooms him during the day sleeping together. Batman has adopted Yoda's spot on the vanity chair when I blow dry my hair, something he has never done in 8 yrs, Claire Bare has taken to sleeping on Yoda's blanket next to me on the pillow.

I did let them say "till then" to Yoda . Yoda is back home and Toby maybe senses it?

 

[Catzzzmeow]

I know it is so hard with the adjustment and missing Yoda. We had a boy that cried for what felt like forever. Have you tried the blanket in the dryer trick yet?

 

[Bailey21]

I’m so sorry the kitties are unsettled and you’re going through this. I hope someone has some advice


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[Misty Lee 123]

Oh that is heartbreaking. Poor things. Sorry to not have any helpful suggestions. Hopefully they adjust to this new life and routine soon.

 

[Annejo12]

I don’t have experience with this but my heart aches for you. Would changing your bedtime routine help or would that cause too much stress on them? Hugs to you.

 

[Sheldon13]

I’m so comforted that your babies do have each other for support. Toby is such an emotional soul. I think it just takes some time though.


Love and Sphynx ~ It’s all you need

 

[kauna]

Big hugs to you and to Toby. My heart breaks for both of you. He is missing his buddy. Pets do grieve, each in their own way. Sometimes it just takes time to get used to a new routine.

While I don't have experience with cats (single cat household here) my dogs were like that. I had one that was very bonded with my pittie, Delilah. When he passed, Delilah was beside herself with grief. She would look for him constantly, be kind of distant with Sampson, our other dog as well as us. It was heartbreaking to watch and she went through a grieving process that lasted a couple of months. Then one day out of the blue she was just herself again.

 

[Cleopatra Beers]

Poor Toby and you. This is so hard to deal with, and I would agree that you shouldn’t medicate him, unless as a last resort. @Annejo12 said what I was going to say—can you try a new bedtime routine? I don’t know what you could do, but if you change the routine, it may help him settle better at night. Hopefully, he will settle down more by himself within the next couple of weeks. I know this will feel like a really long time when you aren’t getting much sleep, so please hang in there.

 

[pussiette]

You are doing all you can darling. It’s nearly been a year here and I have just had to work with my girl, she’s not the same .. doesn’t sleep through, bad poos, talkative, always needing hot packs … we just adapt .. sadly no going back. Hang in there. You’ve got this.

 

[Rachlp]

@Yoda mom your post bought tears to my eyes, your babies are very lucky to have a special mum like you.

I know you don’t want to Medicate little Toby but when Donald kept scratching his eye, they said the best thing to allow him to sleep and grow and to allow him some time to heal was to give him calming moments with natural melatonin in it, the only other idea I had was when I use to have to hand feed kittens I use to have a toy that was heated and had a heartbeat that maybe would bring some Toby some temporary relief while he grieves, although it seems like his mummy and family are doing absolutely everything to help Toby grieve whilst you all are together.

I know nothing will bring back precious Yoda but may he Rest In Peace and know in your heart Yoda lived the very best and fullest life possible for all of his years.

Our hearts are with you during this heartbreaking time