Mental health- a bit of vulnerability

[Fayiza]

Just wanted to share some personal thoughts and feelings, and I feel safe enough in this community to do so. I don’t talk about this in real life with coworkers or any other social media platform, only those closest to me know.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and the following years after was a mess of trying to find the right medication/ coming to terms with my diagnosis. My original doctor was unfortunately a pill pusher and more invested in prescribing me the latest designer medication vs actually helping my situation. For the past 2 years consecutively I have landed in the hospital and spent some time in inpatient always at the very end of summer as my mood shifts are triggered by seasonal change. My last hospitalization September 2018 lead to me finding an amazing therapist and outpatient center focused on providing me with a full wellness program, teaching me coping skills along with medication.

Enter 2019, my new doctor prescribed me a very old age drug, nothing fancy and boom that with the bimonthly therapy has changed my life. I can genuinely say 2019 has been the best year of my of my adult life, since my highschool years 10 years ago. Therapy taught me about boundaries, how to recognize my symptoms and nip them in the bud with coping skills. Medication gave me enough distance from my emotions to act on these new coping skills.

My life is very centered on routines and rituals, these are what keep me grounded. I go to bed at a certain time, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I am very low key on going out for social events. This may seem strict to some, but these routines have given me freedom to be me without fear of loosing myself.

Since I knew winter was going to be tough, most of the things which bring me joy (being outdoors, tending my garden, nature hikes, sunbathing) are inaccessible during the winter. So, in preparation I’ve been collecting habits and rituals for what I call my mental health toolbox. In April I decided one of my new “tools” would be a cat, specifically a Sphynx. I was determined that with these new meds/therapist/coping habits and with a companion that this will be my first winter to conquer without falling deep into a depressive state. When applying for Marceline this summer I specifically wanted a pet that would be high maintenance, one that would require a lot of my attention. I like that every few days her ears need to be cleaned, or every week when I do my nails I do hers too (even buff them lol) I feed her when I take my meds, and come home to play with her before going to bed.

I’m proud to say that this is the first year since my diagnosis where I have survived the transition of summer into fall without landing in the hospital! And I attribute that to therapy, medication and most of all Marceline! I live in upstate New York in the country side, October was the hardest month for me so far, the sun went away and we didn’t have much of a fall, mostly rainy day after day. And just this week I woke up to snow. I have been feeling down and waking up with the aches of on coming depression. It’s been getting hard, but I am still grounded.

Marceline keeps me from sleeping in, waking me up every morning with neck suckles to signal its time for breakfast. When I hurt all over and cry, she’s there to give me cuddles and even on a bad day she always, ALWAYS finds a way to bring a smile to my face.

I know it’s going to get harder as the days get shorter and the snow gets heavier. Yes, I’ve been feeling sad, BUT still optimistic. I know I can’t control my brain chemistry, but I feel hopeful I can cope with its changes.

I’ve made it this far into the year with nothing I haven’t been able to overcome and with Marceline by my side, I’m confident that I will make it through the winter too.

She’s my registered emotional support pet for a reason, but also my baby and love of my life.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read a bit about my story. Thank you for everyone on here for endlessy expressing their love for this breed. Sphynxlair feels like home and exactly where I go when I need a gentle reminder that all is good

Ps. Yes that is bonnet on my head, yet again lol

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[Catzzzmeow]

I am happy you have found your baby has had a positive effect on my our life and wellbeing. They are an amazing breed and yes they demand lots of attention. Cats are creatures not habit/routine, so it makes perfect sense that she helps give structure to your life. She is a beauty.

 

[Toa and Ross]

What a brave woman you are! Life is not easy for you but you keep going and keep searching for ways to make life as good as possible, is what I make up about your story.
I’m glad you found structure and meds that help you through the days. It was the best decision ever to add a sphynx to your life. You can be so proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you after reading your story.
Know we always be here for you. If you need some extra encouragement to get through the winter, just let us know. Enjoy all the cuddles from Marceline. Thanks for trusting us and sharing your story.
Natasja

 

[Sheldon13]

Hi there. I completely empathize with you situation. Except instead of bipolar I have Autism. I understand how you feel about Marceline. I’m that way with Ellie. I don’t think I could have gotten to here if not for her. Even when I wasn’t taking care of myself I darn sure was taking care of her needs. They really give us so much and it is a beautiful relationship. Best friends, really.


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[Cinafina]

@Fayiza Thank you for sharing! I totally agree that this forum is place where you can feel safe to share, and I've myself mentioned my own struggles with depression. What you are describing sounds very familiar, not just for myself, but for my older sister. It took her literally years to first get an actual diagnosis as bipolar, and years to finally find a psychiatrist that was right for her, and that could help her find the right medications.

It can feel like a very lonely and seemingly impossible struggle, and you should feel so proud of yourself for where you are today and how amazingly well you're doing! I'm so happy you've got Marceline by your side every step of the way, and it's so true that it helps enormously to focus on something or someone else that relies on you and needs you. It might sound like a cliche to people that don't know how hard it can be, but taking one day at a time is all you can do, and to set yourself achievable goals.

After discussing my own issues with my sister, I've come to the conclusion that I am probably also bipolar, but what they call cyclothymia. Again, I really appreciate you sharing and know that I and we are here if you need to talk or just need a

 

[Fayiza]

@Fayiza Thank you for sharing! I totally agree that this forum is place where you can feel safe to share, and I've myself mentioned my own struggles with depression. What you are describing sounds very familiar, not just for myself, but for my older sister. It took her literally years to first get an actual diagnosis as bipolar, and years to finally find a psychiatrist that was right for her, and that could help her find the right medications.

It can feel like a very lonely and seemingly impossible struggle, and you should feel so proud of yourself for where you are today and how amazingly well you're doing! I'm so happy you've got Marceline by your side every step of the way, and it's so true that it helps enormously to focus on something or someone else that relies on you and needs you. It might sound like a cliche to people that don't know how hard it can be, but taking one day at a time is all you can do, and to set yourself achievable goals.

After discussing my own issues with my sister, I've come to the conclusion that I am probably also bipolar, but what they call cyclothymia. Again, I really appreciate you sharing and know that I and we are here if you need to talk or just need a

It’s interesting that your brought up Cyclothymia! I have a twin sister and one of the reasons why at first it was hard for me to accept my diagnosis was bc of my twin. There’s been so many times that I now recognize were hypomania that I shared with my sister, she can get just as excitable super woman powers like me. It seemed unfair that I was getting labeled but she wasn’t. She always seemed to get just high enough where she could still stay grounded to reality, but sometimes I would fly a bit to high. Or when she gets sad, she doesn’t experience as dark of a state as me. She recently visited me this summer and she shared with me the anxiety and energy and confusion and lack of stability she was feeling, but still didn’t seem to be impacting her life to the degree it has mine in the past. She was able to present herself as “normal” to her surrounds friends and coworkers. We found out about cyclothymia and both think she might have that. I read there’s a 30% chance of developing it in a twin study where one was bipolar. So if your sister is bipolar, Id say it’s worth exploring more about bipolar cyclothymia, sounds like you’re on to something! And just bc it isn’t full blown bipolar doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of help or understanding more about what your own experiences!


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[Fayiza]

Hi there. I completely empathize with you situation. Except instead of bipolar I have Autism. I understand how you feel about Marceline. I’m that way with Ellie. I don’t think I could have gotten to here if not for her. Even when I wasn’t taking care of myself I darn sure was taking care of her needs. They really give us so much and it is a beautiful relationship. Best friends, really.


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Even if our experience is expressed in different ways autism or bipolar it’s nice to know how we aren’t alone. Thank you for taking the time to share empathy and understanding, and yes, she really is my new bestie. Love like no other!


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[Fayiza]

What a brave woman you are! Life is not easy for you but you keep going and keep searching for ways to make life as good as possible, is what I make up about your story.
I’m glad you found structure and meds that help you through the days. It was the best decision ever to add a sphynx to your life. You can be so proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you after reading your story.
Know we always be here for you. If you need some extra encouragement to get through the winter, just let us know. Enjoy all the cuddles from Marceline. Thanks for trusting us and sharing your story.
Natasja

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! I am trying very hard, I’ve learned through a lot of mistakes and trial and error. Biggest thing I know is self accountability, I cannot control my brain, but I can take initiative through as many preventive actions as I can to help manage it. Marceline is my part of my preventive care as silly as it seems to others in my life outside my Sphynx community.

It was the best decision I’ve made this year to welcome her into my life!


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[Yoda mom]

@Fayiza ((((hugs))) and head smooches to Marceline. You are an amazing woman.. .Go team Marceline.

I have found the sphynxlair the most comfortable loving supportive community... we share the journey of life together.

we are all here for you! My heart smiles for you and precious Marceline

you have friends for life here

 

[Cinafina]

It’s interesting that your brought up Cyclothymia! I have a twin sister and one of the reasons why at first it was hard for me to accept my diagnosis was bc of my twin. There’s been so many times that I now recognize were hypomania that I shared with my sister, she can get just as excitable super woman powers like me. It seemed unfair that I was getting labeled but she wasn’t. She always seemed to get just high enough where she could still stay grounded to reality, but sometimes I would fly a bit to high. Or when she gets sad, she doesn’t experience as dark of a state as me. She recently visited me this summer and she shared with me the anxiety and energy and confusion and lack of stability she was feeling, but still didn’t seem to be impacting her life to the degree it has mine in the past. She was able to present herself as “normal” to her surrounds friends and coworkers. We found out about cyclothymia and both think she might have that. I read there’s a 30% chance of developing it in a twin study where one was bipolar. So if your sister is bipolar, Id say it’s worth exploring more about bipolar cyclothymia, sounds like you’re on to something! And just bc it isn’t full blown bipolar doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of help or understanding more about what your own experiences!


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Thanks again for sharing! This is not the sort of thing you can discuss with many people. It sounds like your sister has a similar yet different condition to you, and it must have felt frustrating seeing her still coping in a way that you couldn't. I can relate to what you are describing of how she is, but it's getting harder for me to remember how I used to be. I've been taking an SSRI for over 3 years now and it's been a godsend! I don't think it's the best medication for me, but it's okay for now.

But before it I'd be on a permanent rollercoaster and it was exhausting! I'd have lows that were very dark and empty every few weeks or every couple of months, and they'd last a week or two at a time. Then I'd usually drag myself out of it and maybe be steady for a while. Occasionally I would have a few giddy high and happy days when anything seemed possible, but that would always be followed by a big dip down in to the dark again.

Like you describe with your sister, I could still get on with whatever I had to do, I just didn't do it very well and it was a total struggle and turmoil. It's really bad for one's confidence and self esteem when you feel like you can't trust yourself to be balanced or stable.

 

[gojira14]

Just wanted to share some personal thoughts and feelings, and I feel safe enough in this community to do so. I don’t talk about this in real life with coworkers or any other social media platform, only those closest to me know.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and the following years after was a mess of trying to find the right medication/ coming to terms with my diagnosis. My original doctor was unfortunately a pill pusher and more invested in prescribing me the latest designer medication vs actually helping my situation. For the past 2 years consecutively I have landed in the hospital and spent some time in inpatient always at the very end of summer as my mood shifts are triggered by seasonal change. My last hospitalization September 2018 lead to me finding an amazing therapist and outpatient center focused on providing me with a full wellness program, teaching me coping skills along with medication.

Enter 2019, my new doctor prescribed me a very old age drug, nothing fancy and boom that with the bimonthly therapy has changed my life. I can genuinely say 2019 has been the best year of my of my adult life, since my highschool years 10 years ago. Therapy taught me about boundaries, how to recognize my symptoms and nip them in the bud with coping skills. Medication gave me enough distance from my emotions to act on these new coping skills.

My life is very centered on routines and rituals, these are what keep me grounded. I go to bed at a certain time, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, I am very low key on going out for social events. This may seem strict to some, but these routines have given me freedom to be me without fear of loosing myself.

Since I knew winter was going to be tough, most of the things which bring me joy (being outdoors, tending my garden, nature hikes, sunbathing) are inaccessible during the winter. So, in preparation I’ve been collecting habits and rituals for what I call my mental health toolbox. In April I decided one of my new “tools” would be a cat, specifically a Sphynx. I was determined that with these new meds/therapist/coping habits and with a companion that this will be my first winter to conquer without falling deep into a depressive state. When applying for Marceline this summer I specifically wanted a pet that would be high maintenance, one that would require a lot of my attention. I like that every few days her ears need to be cleaned, or every week when I do my nails I do hers too (even buff them lol) I feed her when I take my meds, and come home to play with her before going to bed.

I’m proud to say that this is the first year since my diagnosis where I have survived the transition of summer into fall without landing in the hospital! And I attribute that to therapy, medication and most of all Marceline! I live in upstate New York in the country side, October was the hardest month for me so far, the sun went away and we didn’t have much of a fall, mostly rainy day after day. And just this week I woke up to snow. I have been feeling down and waking up with the aches of on coming depression. It’s been getting hard, but I am still grounded.

Marceline keeps me from sleeping in, waking me up every morning with neck suckles to signal its time for breakfast. When I hurt all over and cry, she’s there to give me cuddles and even on a bad day she always, ALWAYS finds a way to bring a smile to my face.

I know it’s going to get harder as the days get shorter and the snow gets heavier. Yes, I’ve been feeling sad, BUT still optimistic. I know I can’t control my brain chemistry, but I feel hopeful I can cope with its changes.

I’ve made it this far into the year with nothing I haven’t been able to overcome and with Marceline by my side, I’m confident that I will make it through the winter too.

She’s my registered emotional support pet for a reason, but also my baby and love of my life.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read a bit about my story. Thank you for everyone on here for endlessy expressing their love for this breed. Sphynxlair feels like home and exactly where I go when I need a gentle reminder that all is good

Ps. Yes that is bonnet on my head, yet again lol

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Thank you for sharing your struggles and your awesome story. Animals and kitties are so amazing and bless them for they keep us grounded, giving us a reason to go on another day.


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