Misunderstood

[sciumi]

My sister just impulse-bought a kitten for her kids.

She sent me an email this morning saying that her husband finally talked her into getting a cat (neither of them have had a cat, but the kids want a pet and they don't have the time/energy for a puppy) and asked me some general questions since she basically knew nothing about them (as she herself said).

I sent her a considerate email, with simple advice. I knew not to overwhelm her with cat facts, but I answered her specific questions (declawing, litterbox, toys). Her kids are four and six, but the little one has good cat sense already (she's in love with my mom's not-the-friendliest cat), so she could handle a kitten, but I told my sister her best bet would be a young adult or an adult, and that I would send her an article about finding a reputable rescue organization.

Then, a few hours later, I get a text with a picture of a kitten.

She's four months old, and was saved from being drowned or whatever, and super sweet and she loves the kids and everything is perfect. I did manage to get her on the phone for half a second to explain the concept of a "safe room"--I sorta doubt she'll follow that, since everything seems just perfect.


I just don't understand how I try to do everything right, and all I get is heartache. I know my sister didn't mean any harm, but for her to ask for my advice, and then ignore it, (I didn't get any response from her whatsoever), and then just text me pictures----it's just really insensitive.

 

[Inflamed]

Sorry you have to deal with this. I don't understand her asking advice and ignoring it either.
Do you live close by enough to check up on the kitten? In that case I would swing by and try to help out.

 

[GoldHazel]

My sister just impulse-bought a kitten for her kids.

She sent me an email this morning saying that her husband finally talked her into getting a cat (neither of them have had a cat, but the kids want a pet and they don't have the time/energy for a puppy) and asked me some general questions since she basically knew nothing about them (as she herself said).

I sent her a considerate email, with simple advice. I knew not to overwhelm her with cat facts, but I answered her specific questions (declawing, litterbox, toys). Her kids are four and six, but the little one has good cat sense already (she's in love with my mom's not-the-friendliest cat), so she could handle a kitten, but I told my sister her best bet would be a young adult or an adult, and that I would send her an article about finding a reputable rescue organization.

Then, a few hours later, I get a text with a picture of a kitten.

She's four months old, and was saved from being drowned or whatever, and super sweet and she loves the kids and everything is perfect. I did manage to get her on the phone for half a second to explain the concept of a "safe room"--I sorta doubt she'll follow that, since everything seems just perfect.


I just don't understand how I try to do everything right, and all I get is heartache. I know my sister didn't mean any harm, but for her to ask for my advice, and then ignore it, (I didn't get any response from her whatsoever), and then just text me pictures----it's just really insensitive.

Aww, Jenny, my heart is breaking for you. I haven't been able to get your sorrow out of my mind. Can I call you? What can I do for you, Hon? I feel so helpless. I want to make your pain go away.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and soon you will have two little loves to cuddle with. Sometimes things are just not meant to be...but I know that you have a big heart and you have room in your heart to love a little one (or two) again.

Robin oxoxoxoxox

 

[andreanar]

Im sorry, Im sure you are feeling pretty raw right now, understandably. You are not alone in this tho: my sister always asks for advice she has no intention of taking. Funny and true story-my sister called me in Sept. and told me to go pick up an alpaca that she found for free on Craigslist. She told me to put it in my car (a kia) and open the sun roof for it. Her idea was to keep it in her barn at night, and out on a dog run during the day until she built a fenced in area. I told her not a good idea. We should research and be ready if she wants alpacas. But noooooooo. Thank gosh, when she called it was already taken. I was scared she was going to go get it on her own when I refused. Can you see me driving down the road with an alpaca in my Kia? !! Nutso

 

[GoldHazel]

Im sorry, Im sure you are feeling pretty raw right now, understandably. You are not alone in this tho: my sister always asks for advice she has no intention of taking. Funny and true story-my sister called me in Sept. and told me to go pick up an alpaca that she found for free on Craigslist. She told me to put it in my car (a kia) and open the sun roof for it. Her idea was to keep it in her barn at night, and out on a dog run during the day until she built a fenced in area. I told her not a good idea. We should research and be ready if she wants alpacas. But noooooooo. Thank gosh, when she called it was already taken. I was scared she was going to go get it on her own when I refused. Can you see me driving down the road with an alpaca in my Kia? !! Nutso

LOL LOL LOL YES, I CAN see you driving with an alpaca in your Kia. Hehe!

 

[sciumi]

Thank you, everyone, I really appreciate it. I'll be fine. It's just a lot all at once. And it helps to vent to cat people--we are few.

My sister's in Ohio and I'm in New York, so I can't go see the new kitten.

My sister did say that the adoption place talked her out of declawing and she got a cat tree (she said that even though it's "big," it's better than having her furniture scratched up--I was pretty surprised and proud of her for being so reasonable). Claire, my four year-old niece, does have very good cat sense. I finally got to see her interact with my mom's cat, and she is great with him. I think she will be a great advocate for this kitten.

The shock of losing Cheddar is still really fresh--especially because I used him to cope with Astor's death and Zoran's death--and at least after Zoran died, I still had my "plan" intact.

So, let's just all keep hoping for a better tomorrow :/

 

[sciumi]

Im sorry, Im sure you are feeling pretty raw right now, understandably. You are not alone in this tho: my sister always asks for advice she has no intention of taking. Funny and true story-my sister called me in Sept. and told me to go pick up an alpaca that she found for free on Craigslist. She told me to put it in my car (a kia) and open the sun roof for it. Her idea was to keep it in her barn at night, and out on a dog run during the day until she built a fenced in area. I told her not a good idea. We should research and be ready if she wants alpacas. But noooooooo. Thank gosh, when she called it was already taken. I was scared she was going to go get it on her own when I refused. Can you see me driving down the road with an alpaca in my Kia? !! Nutso

LOL!!!! Hahaha. That is awesome--thanks

 

[GoldHazel]

Thank you, everyone, I really appreciate it. I'll be fine. It's just a lot all at once. And it helps to vent to cat people--we are few.

My sister's in Ohio and I'm in New York, so I can't go see the new kitten.

My sister did say that the adoption place talked her out of declawing and she got a cat tree (she said that even though it's "big," it's better than having her furniture scratched up--I was pretty surprised and proud of her for being so reasonable). Claire, my four year-old niece, does have very good cat sense. I finally got to see her interact with my mom's cat, and she is great with him. I think she will be a great advocate for this kitten.

The shock of losing Cheddar is still really fresh--especially because I used him to cope with Astor's death and Zoran's death--and at least after Zoran died, I still had my "plan" intact.

So, let's just all keep hoping for a better tomorrow :/

There will be a better tomorrow, Jenny. BIG hugs to you.

 

[Catzzzmeow]

Know what? I agree it was insensitive of your sister, but she was just not thinking how upset you are and family some times just doesn't "get it". That is why you have us BUT she did know who to turn to for answers and advise, so take that as a compliment. But again it is like family to not follow it...lol. You have us. If you decide to take in a furry first and wait for a hairless we will expect you to just stay here and share with us no matter what. Might be a much needed break and less pressure. You deserve happiness...


patti

 

[1sphynxlover]

I hope it wasn't a rash decision on their part. I hope they understand it's a lifetime commitment.i feel under the circumstances it was kinda cold of your sister. I think she should have been a little more sensitive to your feelings after everything you have been through. I know things will work out for you. There is a special kitty just waiting for the love & spoiling you will give it. I really admire you for the way you have coped with everything.

 

[sciumi]

I think the kitten has a really good home, and we there are now two kids who will grow up knowing what it's like to have a cat--so, that's a big win in many ways.

She'll get a lot of playtime from little Claire, especially. It was really cool to see how much she loved and appreciated Nemo, the overweight Maine Coon with biting problems who adopted my mom. He's actually great now, but, Claire was taught to be careful around him (and for a long time he would run from the kids), and he's never gone up and snuggled with her, but she loves him for who he is, and she's really good at playing with him. He likes her a lot, too

Bad timing :/

 

[andreanar]

Ive been thinking about you alot lately. Youve had a rough go of things. Hugs and healing thoughts are sent to you! When things go really bad, it must mean that something really great is just around the corner.

 

[Embracing-Joyx4]

Praying for your peace of mind, and comfort for your hearts sorrow. Better days are around the corner, and your perfect kitty is also.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch Q using Tapatalk 2

 

[PrimateLove]

You will find your perfect kitty! Your sister was most likely just really excited about her new kitten and did not even think how this would affect you. I have been going through some personal stuff and it amazes me how the littlest thing will trigger some strong feelings on my end. Most people don't realize they are being perceived as insensitive

Your baby is coming home soon and will bring you so much happiness and joy! Stay strong girl and seriously, message me if you want to chat!

HUGS

 

[sciumi]

You will find your perfect kitty! Your sister was most likely just really excited about her new kitten and did not even think how this would affect you. I have been going through some personal stuff and it amazes me how the littlest thing will trigger some strong feelings on my end. Most people don't realize they are being perceived as insensitive

Your baby is coming home soon and will bring you so much happiness and joy! Stay strong girl and seriously, message me if you want to chat!

HUGS

Yeah, it's actually cute that she got so excited