My Stella is gone...

[Stella]

My beautiful Stella has been sick for awhile now, with "Paradoxical Vestibular Syndrome." Her last visit to the vet was two weeks ago, when she was unbalanced, and had lost weight. All of her blood work was good, but they gave her antibiotics and prednisone--along with under the skin hydration. During the past few days, her breathing was labored, but she was eating and drinking. It was getting worse, but I couldn't get her into the vet until 5:30 today. I've had a house full of Thanksgiving visitors for the past few days, just to complicate matters.

I came upstairs to check on her when I could today (she was in my large room with her three cat buddies), and I thought she looked worse. About 20, after everyone had gone, I came upstairs to her deceased body on the rug. The guilt I feel for not being with her when she took her last breath is overwhelming. She was the sweetest being on the planet, and she deserved to have me there--holding her close. I don't know what to do with this guilt...

 

[zoinks]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. RIP Stella.

You should not feel guilty!!! it sounds like you were doing everything you could to look after her. You had booked an appointment for that day and it is not your fault she didn't make it until then. Please don't blame yourself. She passed away amongst all of her cat friends, she was not alone and I'm sure we all understand that you can't be everywhere at once especially on Thanksgiving. How were you to know that her condition would decline so quickly? Really, not your fault.

We are all here for you, and you and your gang will be in my thoughts. ::hugs::

 

[admin]

My beautiful Stella has been sick for awhile now, with "Paradoxical Vestibular Syndrome." Her last visit to the vet was two weeks ago, when she was unbalanced, and had lost weight. All of her blood work was good, but they gave her antibiotics and prednisone--along with under the skin hydration. During the past few days, her breathing was labored, but she was eating and drinking. It was getting worse, but I couldn't get her into the vet until 5:30 today. I've had a house full of Thanksgiving visitors for the past few days, just to complicate matters.

I came upstairs to check on her when I could today (she was in my large room with her three cat buddies), and I thought she looked worse. About 20, after everyone had gone, I came upstairs to her deceased body on the rug. The guilt I feel for not being with her when she took her last breath is overwhelming. She was the sweetest being on the planet, and she deserved to have me there--holding her close. I don't know what to do with this guilt...

So sorry for your loss, its not anything to feel guilty of, there was nothing you could have done any different, she passed at home where she was happy and felt safe. RIP stella.

 

[Embracing-Joyx4]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[GoldHazel]

I'm so sorry that you lost Stella and that you feel such guilt. I hope that you can come to understand that none of this was your fault and she wasn't alone. She had her cat buddies there and it was in her own home. You took good care of her and you are still a good cat mommy. Please find some peace that she isn't suffering anymore. She forgives you.

 

[Catzzzmeow]

I am so sorry. We never fully understand why things happen the way they do, so please do not feel guilty. You must try to keep the happiest memories closest, Stella would never want you to remember the worst/saddest parts. Please remember that. We are here for you...just reach out.

Patti

 

[gothicmist]

So sorry for your loss ♡

 

[GizmosMommy]

So so sorry for your loss. That's just terrible

 

[susi794]

Oh Sweety, I get it. But Stella loved you and she knew you loved her too. Some cats will wait until they are alone to pass away. Or they will leave the premises completely. Don't you feel guilty for even one second. It is obvious that you loved Stella.....vet visits, blood tests, medications, hydration......that doesn't happen when a mama isn't a good one. You had guests for Thanksgiving and you put her in a safe place with her furries and I am sure she appreciated being in a quiet place, rather than being on exhibition downstairs. She passed around the things that made her comfortable-- amidst the smells and sounds of home. She was in your room, Honey---so she was surrounded by you. None of us can be sure we can hold our babies in our arms when they pass unless we assist them in passing. She fought the good fight, but was tired and maybe she wanted to save you the agony of watching that last breath.
I can just see her in Heaven, on some angel's lap--being the sweetest thing in Heaven, just like she was here. She is not sick anymore. No pain, no struggles of any kind. She is probably telling that angel what a wonderful family she had......and that she loved them with all she had.
Stella had a beautiful soul--I can tell by the way you described her. I believe that she will be there to welcome you home someday when it is your time to pass from this life to the next. Until then she will live in your heart through the memories you made together. And if you are open to it, I believe she will direct you to another baby that needs that special love that only you can provide, because beautiful mama love is too sweet to waste. And she will smile that she created in you such a love that can't be contained, but rather, begs to be shared.

I know in my heart that you have NOTHING to be guilty about. So hold your memories tight, forgive yourself, cry it out, and give the pain time to get less intense. Stella loved you and you loved her.....and love is everything.

 

[Stella]

Thanks to everyone for your kind comfort. Suzi, I'm afraid you made the waterworks turn on full blast...but thank you so much for your tenderness. I have been with two dogs and a cat as they were euthanized, but somehow, Stella's passing has put a hole in my heart the size of a cannonball. Time is the great healer, and I will think of everyone's amazing messages. Thank you again for being there.

 

[Franksmom]

So sorry for your loss

 

[1sphynxlover]

Sending thoughts & prayers your way. Don't feel guilty. She was surrounded by love and she knew it. You gave her a wonderful life.

 

[andreanar]

Im so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers to you.

 

[Inflamed]

I'm so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you and your family during this difficult time. RIP sweet Stella, you will be missed dearly...

 

[Bobbafett]

Thanks to everyone for your kind comfort. Suzi, I'm afraid you made the waterworks turn on full blast...but thank you so much for your tenderness. I have been with two dogs and a cat as they were euthanized, but somehow, Stella's passing has put a hole in my heart the size of a cannonball. Time is the great healer, and I will think of everyone's amazing messages. Thank you again for being there.

Your initial post AND Suzis are turning on the waterworks I over here!

I'm sorry for your loss, but take comfort in knowing that she passed in peace, in her home. Surrounded by those who loved her.

 

[Boonecat]

I am so very sorry for your loss and that you couldn't be there with her when the time came. The same thing basically happened to me 7 years ago when my Siamese of 15 years passed away, so I know what you're going through. It also happened to me when both of my parents died 13 months apart. I didn't make it to their sides in time. Just please try to take comfort in the fact that she isn't suffering anymore and is at total peace now. RIP, sweet Stella.

 

[Stella]

Thank you again to each and every one of you who took the time to respond to my difficult news. You are an amazing group of people who totally "get it" when it comes to how hopelessly in love we are with these naked beauties. There's nothing like it. You have each helped me gain perspective and appreciate the wonderful days we shared. You're the best!

 

[cleozmama]

I'm very sorry for your loss. RIP Stella.

 

[Hairless Blessing]

I am so sorry, bless your heart.

 

[assibassi]

RIP Stella.
You were a good Mommy to her. Hugs to you.

 

[Emily0404]

I'm so sorry for your loss Stella knew she was much loved

 

[knitwit]

Oh sweetie, l known its hard not to feel guilty , but you did everythimg you could. Truly, you did. My heartfelt sympathies for you loss. xo

 

[PrimateLove]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[MyJezebel]

I'm so sorry to hear of Stella's passing. I hope you are beginning to let go of your guilt because you did nothing wrong. In fact, you were doing everything right. Hugs to you.

 

[MisoLina24]

Sorry for your loss