What am I doing wrong!

[Squirra]

Hi everyone, I am new to this site. I absolutely love this site!! I am from South-Africa.

I am a brand new mom of two 4 month old boys from the same litter, Louka and Calvin. They have been with me for 7 weeks now. Before I got my two boys I did a lot of reading to be prepared. I chose the sphynx breed because no matter what website or book I read they all said the same: "They are very affectionate, will always want to snuggle on your lap and in your bed and will be in your face 24/7". I was so looking forward to that.

To my disappointment, my two boys are not like that at all! They prefer to be left alone and sleep in their igloo. Occasionally they will sit on my lap, but just for a very short while. I must be doing something wrong??

I constantly talk to them, try to pet them and play with them, but they prefer to play with each other. Will this change as they get older? I am really sad about this.

Any advice will be much appreciated.

 

[Lickleone]

Hi I'm from South Africa too although I live in the UK feel free to pm can then you welcome to add me on Facebook if you want if it be of help. Your babies are still new to their environment 7 weeks is not too long and cause they have each other are probably relying on each other cause they trust each other. Get toys out like stuck toy with danglies on it like "da bird" play with them this probably bring them out but more the more you play with them the more they will rely on you and trust will be build up remember they are babies that have been taken away from what they know they need to learn to trust you just like you would in a new environment

 

[Catzzzmeow]

Don't feel like you did something wrong. As long as they are happy, you are doing things right. Certainly sounds like they are best buddies. Great advice was given about playing with a string toy where you are the focus of playing with them. I also recommended put the igloo on the couch and then throw a soft blanket in the dryer and then encourage them to come out of their igloo and enjoy the blanket. After a couple of weeks you might get it where the blanket is on your lap.

Patti

 

[Toa and Ross]

Hello @Squirra and welcome to sphynxlair for you, Louka and Calvin! Such handsome boys (guessing it are them on your avatar pic).

I have two boys too. They live with me since last December and are almost 1 year old.

The first weeks they lived with me they didn't want to cuddle with me. They played together or slept together in their iglo. It took some time for them to get bonded with me.

You can try speed up the bonding a little by putting blankets around you so if they come to sit with you they can snuggle under the blankets. If I'm correct it's early spring in your country? So I think it's chilly sometimes and your boys will search warm spots. Their iglo will probably warm. So you need to make a place near you that's warmer. My boys love to crawl into my vest. First weeks I always wore a vest in my home. When they would come to me for a sec I gently pulled the vest around them so they sat against my chest. Just start with one boy. The other will watch and think "hey that's a nice warm bed, I want to join". Before you know it you'll have two boys attached to you all day.

Playing is also a great way to bond. My boys love chasing the laser light and playing with Da Bird.

So don't think you did something wrong! I had the same feeling and went through the same bonding proces. Now I sometimes think "oh please, can you sit somewhere else instead of on top of me"

Oh and this weekend I booked a vacation to South Africa. I november I will travel around in your beautiful country (Cape Town and area)! If you or @Lickleone have tips were to go I would love to hear!

 

[Lickleone]

It may be spring @Toa and Ross but it anything but chilly in spring it's already hot lol some places like where I was born it already at 28 degrees lol

Cape Town loads to do if you like wine it has the longest and if I may say most beautiful wine route in the world well wort going to look at (I don't even drink and I love seeing it) research safari that's a must when going to SA only true way of seeing animals. There's loads of things to do in the Cape I'm sure @Squirra can help she from close enough by

 

[Toa and Ross]

It may be spring @Toa and Ross but it anything but chilly in spring it's already hot lol some places like where I was born it already at 28 degrees lol

Cape Town loads to do if you like wine it has the longest and if I may say most beautiful wine route in the world well wort going to look at (I don't even drink and I love seeing it) research safari that's a must when going to SA only true way of seeing animals. There's loads of things to do in the Cape I'm sure @Squirra can help she from close enough by

Thanks! I know in spring it can be hot but just heared it is 18 degrees in Cape Town today. My boys think that's chilly. I'm going for the wineroute and ofcourse a safari to see hairy cats in the wild

 

[KitKat26]

I've had Piper for a month now and I was wondering the same thing. If you try to pet her she will try to get away from you. She only cuddles and purrs with me when she wants food and when we go to bed at night. I've just learned to not try to overpower her or hold her hostage and just let her come to me when she wants. I'm sure it will come with time though. She is also besties with my norwegian forest cat and when he comes into the room she forgets about me and goes straight to him so I know they have a special bond.

 

[Hairless Blessing]

Welcome to sphynxlair, good to have you.

 

[Squirra]

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all the good advice. It is so nice to be in the company of so many sphynx mom's. I am definitely going to follow everyone's advice.

I feel so honored to be a mom of two such beautiful boys.

@Toa and Ross I can give so many names of places to go and see, I live in Langebaan in the Western-Cape, that is about 100km from Cape Town. The weather is changing now, it is getting warmer each day. But in Cape Town you can experience all 4 seasons in one day! lol! Unfortunately you missed the flowers (the flower season was very short this year), but it is still very beautiful.

If you want my number I can give it to you and you can contact me anytime. There are so many "must see" places. And you are definitely welcome to come and have a cup of coffee in Langebaan with us (as Langebaan is one of the "must see" places!).

Again, thanks for all the great advice, I am still a little clue less with using this website, but I will get there.

Everyone enjoy your day.

 

[sbrownw]

Lots of great advice already but I figured I'd chime in too!

I have a 7 month old male sphynxie who for a while acted like he wanted nothing to do with me. I thought he had only bonded to my other pets and didnt care to get to know me for about two months. I thought I had done something wrong because I couldn't think of why MY kitten, who is supposed to be an extremely affectionate breed, never cuddles with me or even liked being pet!

But as time went on he has turned into quite a love bug. I think when they are kittens they struggle between being playful and getting into trouble vs being loving and calm. My sphynxie Tobin still isn't as loving as my old cat, but he's definitely getting there and I see that. Play with them as often as you can. Don't force love. But I frequently pick up Tobin and hold him and give him kisses and at first he hated it, but now loves it!

 

[momdeeze]

we call them "struggle cuddles" when they are too busy as kittens to slow down when we want some loving! Good advise given.

 

[Toa and Ross]

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for all the good advice. It is so nice to be in the company of so many sphynx mom's. I am definitely going to follow everyone's advice.

I feel so honored to be a mom of two such beautiful boys.

@Toa and Ross I can give so many names of places to go and see, I live in Langebaan in the Western-Cape, that is about 100km from Cape Town. The weather is changing now, it is getting warmer each day. But in Cape Town you can experience all 4 seasons in one day! lol! Unfortunately you missed the flowers (the flower season was very short this year), but it is still very beautiful.

If you want my number I can give it to you and you can contact me anytime. There are so many "must see" places. And you are definitely welcome to come and have a cup of coffee in Langebaan with us (as Langebaan is one of the "must see" places!).

Again, thanks for all the great advice, I am still a little clue less with using this website, but I will get there.

Everyone enjoy your day.

That is very kind of you, thanks! I'll contact you before I go (half november).

And your doing great with the website! A little hint...if you push on the "upload a file" button, you can post photos of Louka and Calvin. We would love to see photos of your two!

 

[Trisha]

This is what I would do and I hope this doesn't seem mean...

Put the Igloo away during the times that you're sitting on the couch and want them to snuggle with you. Like others said, cover yourself with warm blankets and/or have a heating pad on your lap. Of course I would put the igloo back out when you're not around, but I would see where they go without it.

Since they are from the same litter, they are extremely bonded to each other so I think it will take a little more time for them to form a new bond with you. They are still very young. Plus, they go through phases. Some days Gemma is all over me and Dexter is no where in site and vice versa. Then there are days they're both attached to me and others when they hang out just with each other.

 

[Callmemrsbill]

Hi, and Welcome to the site.
I think you are doing everything right...don't be so hard on yourself...they may just be getting used to their environment...I'm sure once they get used to their new surroundings, things will change.

 

[KitKat26]

I just took the advice given and it works. I put a blanket on my lap and she got up here by herself. I put her igloo away.

 

[Catzzzmeow]

@KitKat26 woot woot... Way to go!

 

[Xandria]

I just took the advice given and it works. I put a blanket on my lap and she got up here by herself. I put her igloo away.

Congrats! It works like a charm. We have tonnes of blankets in our living room which we use for making forts and that we place on ourselves when watching telly. We don't even bother folding them any more (not even after I wash them). Our poor cleaning ladies who come every two weeks diligently fold all the blankets and I feel a little bad, but it's nice to see the living room look great for about 4 hours!

 

[KitKat26]

Congrats! It works like a charm. We have tonnes of blankets in our living room which we use for making forts and that we place on ourselves when watching telly. We don't even bother folding them any more (not even after I wash them). Our poor cleaning ladies who come every two weeks diligently fold all the blankets and I feel a little bad, but it's nice to see the living room look great for about 4 hours!

Lool I know the feeling. My husband will put all the cat toys in a pile so we can vacuum and it looks kind of nice and then there are 30 cat toys strung all over the house within a few hours. I have a robot vacuum so it's always nice when it ends up choking on a hidden cat toy :shifty: lol

 

[Trisha]

@KitKat26 yay!!!

 

[Squirra]

Hi everyone

Thanks for all the great advice. I am feeling so much better.

Last night I placed their Igloo on my bed, we had a good play session on the bed with each other. They climbed into their Igloo for the night, but in the early hours of the morning they climbed into bed with me and we snuggled! Yipppeeee!!

I have a lot of blankets available on all the couches, but like momdeeze says, they are very busy when they are awake, and I can see that sitting still and snuggling is the last thing that they want to do.

It is definitely getting better each day. One question: What is "Da Bird" toy?

 

[Catzzzmeow]

Aww super update. Da bird is da best! http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&ke...vptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=t&ref=pd_sl_5xrbby9oky_b. There is something about the way the top rotates that attracts cats to the overall movement.

Patti

 

[Toa and Ross]

Hi everyone

Thanks for all the great advice. I am feeling so much better.

Last night I placed their Igloo on my bed, we had a good play session on the bed with each other. They climbed into their Igloo for the night, but in the early hours of the morning they climbed into bed with me and we snuggled! Yipppeeee!!

I have a lot of blankets available on all the couches, but like momdeeze says, they are very busy when they are awake, and I can see that sitting still and snuggling is the last thing that they want to do.

It is definitely getting better each day. One question: What is "Da Bird" toy?

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Yay! Happy to hear they climbed in your bed for snuggle time. Before you know you'll have a moment were you think "it's 30 degrees outside, can you boys please sit somewhere else instead of on top of me:smuggrin:".

Da bird is a string with feathers, simply said. @Catzzzmeow gave you a link to it. Most sphynx love it!

 

[KitKat26]

Hi everyone

Thanks for all the great advice. I am feeling so much better.

Last night I placed their Igloo on my bed, we had a good play session on the bed with each other. They climbed into their Igloo for the night, but in the early hours of the morning they climbed into bed with me and we snuggled! Yipppeeee!!

I have a lot of blankets available on all the couches, but like momdeeze says, they are very busy when they are awake, and I can see that sitting still and snuggling is the last thing that they want to do.

It is definitely getting better each day. One question: What is "Da Bird" toy?

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Yayyyyy!, I know it feels good when you get them to cuddle with you. Your sphynxies are so gorgeous by the way.

 

[Trisha]

Like others have said Da Bird is just simply feathers on a string - but there is just something about the way they put the feathers together! My Gemma is obsessed with it. I made the mistake of using Da Bird one morning before I left for work - now she screams every morning for da bird! She knows where is is so she'll stand by the closet and squawk at the top of her lungs. I tried to trick her yesterday by putting it somewhere else when she wasn't looking, but it's like she just KNOWS where it is!!!

 

[Xandria]

YAY! Very happy for you. Sphynx snuggles are the best... and even tolerable when so hot and they just add to the heat. We put up with a lot from our naked companions!

Da Bird is Da Fun. Max chitters like it's real prey.