What do I do?

[sphynxsophia]

So im a standstill... I dont know if i should proceed or just eat the deposit I put down on my kitten.. Im very upset with the breeder right now and I know either way, she is going to either make an extra 200 or going ot get the rest from me so she could care less. I just feel deceived. She told me it wasnt about money, it was about a home.. I offered to buy 2 kittens. My first pick wasnt availble due to health even though it was never mentioned BEFORE i chose him.. so I was forced to pick from 2 others which i really didnt have a connection to.. but i chose one as I was given pick of the litter. I then asked her if my orig first pick was deemed healthy before i came to pick up second pick, i would like to purchase him as they are brothers... She then informed me that a 3rd person (2 behind me in pecking order) had inquired so she felt like since i chose a dark one (literally 20 minutes earlier), that she should allow the 3rd person to have first dibs on the one i orig choice.. I told her that he was technically my first pick and i was not notified that he wasn avail until literally 20 minutes earlier even though she put him in all the pictures and advertised him online.. I told her that I would think having two brother together would be important and I was willing to do that. She then said she just isnt going to offer him at all. I find that very hard to believe that you have -2- people interested in the same cat and yet you suddenly decide not to sell him? I feel like I am in the right as he was my first choice. She tried saying I was basically knocking the 3rd person out and that wasnt fair yet after she stated that she wasnt selling him, she said she would inform the 3rd person to pick from another litter.. So... its okay for them to get a different cat on her terms but when i point out that MY first choice was this particular one and I want him if he is healthy enough, its not ok for 3rd person to get another choice? I told her it wasn tlike i was playing switcharoo and syaing IF that first cat becomes healthy, I dont want cat #2.. Nope. She was going ot get the same amount from me for both cats.. I wasnt given a discount, no 2 for 1, no half off for taking the runt.. I said I would pony up and pay bc HE was the one I felt a connection to.. so now I am not sure if I want to purchase Any kittens from her yet the refund is nonrefundable.. I just feel like she pushed me into a choice, they are only 3 weeks old, and then the choice I made was not doable so technically I didnt even get first pick. I got pick of the two that lok exactly the same.. I am not there to hold and get to know.. i have to trust her but I really felt a connection with this particular one and Im really upset that she handled it this way.. Am I being silly? any opinions?

 

[Diesel]

If you feel no connection, I say, loose your $200 and move on to another breeder ! Who knows what else the breeder might be hiding.

 

[Inflamed]

What a strange and awful woman...
If you don't feel comfortable with her you might want to look for another breeder, but then again I don't know how you feel about the kitten and whether you'll be able to put it out of your mind. So it's a tough choice and I can really understand your dilemma. I suppose in the end you should listen to your gut and go with your instinct.

I wish you the best of luck with your choice!

 

[sphynxsophia]

My gut says to walk away... I really wanted a kitten BUT i also wanted to have first pick and I feel like I wasnt given that. It was an either or situation.. I know im a grat home and hte kitten would be loved but I feel like if I am going to spend the money on a kitten, then i should get to choose my own kitten, not be told No... Im just really upset bc this deal was made before Sophia came home. before this kitten was ever born.. this was to be my first Sphynx and we put alot of research and our kids have been there every moment to connect.. and we chose as a family..and now we dont get what we wanted. She did offer me pick of another litter but it doesnt fit our needs. This is a completely different state and we are only able tomake the trip one time and the other kittens wouldnt be fixed in time and honestly, im paying the breeder to have them fixed and if i choose anothe rlitter kitten, im still paying same price but now out of pocket to fix it too and I dont find that fair.. I might be being petty but my husband says to get the kitten I want. Sophia was meant to be here and Im so gratefult aht she is my first Sphynx experience bc at this point, if i didnt have her, i would probably be put off from purchasing one just based on this breeders actions... I just feel like Im already 200 in.. might as well finish and know that at least one of the kittens is going to a great home..but then again, i feel cheated.

 

[megarot]

It's obvious you've definitely voiced some concern to the breeder but to what extent have you done so? Has she thrown it back into your face that you've paid a non-refundable deposit.

Maybe if she is a decent breeder who is willing to understand your situation she'll give you back the deposit. If she doesn't then I think you should take the kitty that was choice #2. You may not have made an in-person connection with him but it's hard to see how you won't fall in love with a kitty once you get him.

I say only get one cat though - then go find soulmate #2 with another breeder.

 

[Marnasobsession]

I say you should go with your gut instinct. If possible get a breeder through refferal. There are many members who can give you good info on breeders they are familiar with. Of course any breeders names must be by pm only. Good Luck with your search and keep us updated....Marna

 

[sphynxsophia]

I have not told her that Im considering not buying the kitten. After she told me she wasnt going to sell him at all, I no longer responded. I wasnt in a good mood to make a good choice of words... I keep going over it in my head.. I tell myself that I dont want to give someone my hard earned money when i dont feel that they deserve it, but then again, i really want a kitty and have invested not only a deposit but emotionally. i have seen each of these kittens since birth..i was leaning towards a different one but when i was forced to choose, my connection was to the little guy.. i have a soft spot for the under dog.. I appreciate her honesty about his health issues but I just dont understand why she wouldnt give me the option first to buy my first choice. that was the deal. She has stated when i made the dep. that it was nonrefundable no matter what... Im pretty sure me saying that the kitty of my dreams isnt in her litter isnt grounds for refunds.. I also have never received my copy of the contract that I signed a month ago..so I cant even read to know for sure what my options are.. I just dont want to upset her. If i do not get a kitten from her, i would rather it be by my choice, not hers. I am a great person who has a great home and a lot of love..and i dont want her to ever think otherwise..

 

[NinaGato]

I live by if it has to be that complicated and hard it is not to be. Have you met this breeder in person? What does your gut tell you? Lots of things can happen between 3wks and the time the kitten come to their new home. This should be fun and a happy things not weird and complicated.
Just my two cents thrown out there.

 

[SphynxKid]

I lost a deposit on a cat (a 2yr old) once because the person gave me a hard time about it when my flight was cancelled due to weather. I wasn't sure when I could make a new flight that wouldn't cost a fortune, and she was saying if I couldnt get there in a week she'd sell it locally, and where as the week before, it was too cold to ship her(which is why I was flying to get her) she would now ship her to me. The airline advised against it due to weather and it was obvious the woman was just trying to get rid of the cat. Told her to sell locally instead of risking the cat by shipping her. So, lost my deposit. I say if your gut says lose it and you can afford to lose the money, and husband it supportive, eat hot dogs and skip the Starbucks for a week and find a kitty you really love, or you'll always think about it.

Jen

 

[Diesel]

SOMETHING IS FISHY ! .
How far away was this breeder?
There are many more breeders and kittens out there. We will help you find another. Just say the word. Where do you live?

 

[Boonecat]

If you feel no connection, I say, loose your $200 and move on to another breeder ! Who knows what else the breeder might be hiding.

I don't like the sound of that breeder's business practices. I get the vibe that you should lose the $200, & walk away, of course if you can afford to. You'll find another kitty that you will connect with eventually.

 

[momofmaxamillon]

I get what you are saying about being torn, it's a real game changer once your children are involved and are thinking they are getting a kitten, not just you telling this woman what you think, for what ever her reason, seems like she is not being up front with you about somthing ,you will have to make a choice best for your family, are they healthy kittens? Is she someone you can even deal with anymore? Maybe ya"ll could start over, I don't know but I am so sorry about your situation. You will make the the best choice for your family Mom's have a way of knowing whats best!

 

[sphynxsophia]

We are in different states. yes I met her. My husband is incredibly supportive. The thing is, I am paying for kitty and I dont have a lot of money.This is something that is very important that I do.. so I have yardsales to make the money up. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.. so if I wait and not purchase kitty, it will be a long while before i can get another one.. Which I have Sophia so its not a hard thing to wait.. Just uhm, I am not a patient person! lol... I am literally changing my mind about every 3 hours.. this has consumed me because with Sophia here, I dont want a sick kitty.. and Im not within a reasonable distance from the breeder to deal with those issues..its by email.. I talked to another breeder and she said it was odd that someone would take a dep and cash it before kittens were even born...This is my first dealing with a breeder and Im feeling intimidated.

 

[Jennifer]

If your gut tells you to walk away, then do it. Its hard to walk way when you are about to fall in love with a kitten . Something is not right. Breeder sounds like a nut job anyways. How many litters does she have? Sounds like an awful lot.
I got scamed 4 times before I found my breeder . I never lost any money, but every story was sctechy.

 

[Jennifer]

If your gut tells you to walk away, then do it. Its hard to walk way when you are about to fall in love with a kitten . Something is not right. Breeder sounds like a nut job anyways. How many litters does she have? Sounds like an awful lot.
I got scamed 4 times before I found my breeder . I never lost any money, but every story was sctechy.

Also, I would call the breeder out on it and tell her she is full of crap.

 

[momofmaxamillon]

We are also a one income family so I can understand money can be the decison maker somtimes, and it's hard for me to change my mind once I have made a decison, I am glad your husband is being supportive that's really great you will make the best choice for you and your family.

 

[sphynxsophia]

Funny thing.. 10 years ago I would have called her out on it.. but as I get older, i get more aware of other peoples feelings and even though mine are hurt. I still try to be the bigger person and not bow to someone elses level.. I told her I was upset by her actions and thats when she said she was sorry for my stress and wont sell him to anyone.. Which i call BS on ... I just dont understand why it would be okay for person 3 to get from another litter when SHE decides not to sell him,but not when I want to buy 2, since it was my first choice.. Seems hypocritical..