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- Sep 23, 2012
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So my good friend is getting married June 18th in Las Vegas. We met about 18 months ago, along with another lady in a meetup group. The three of us a really good friends, and see each other about 3x a week.
She got engaged last June, and picked her 3 bridesmaids (friends of hers) and maid of honor (20 year old daughter). Since then, the wedding has changed from a local event to the Las Vegas destination, and 2 bridesmaids aren't going to vegas. They have done nothing to help her get ready for the wedding or plan.
As it is now 6 weeks from the wedding, my friend and I (the 2/3 of out trio) realized that nothing has been done to plan a bridal shower or stagette party for her by anyone. So we jumped into action and got this thing going. The next day at coffee, she asked us both to be her bridesmaids. We said yes without thinking, because we have been already helping and are going to the vegas wedding.
It is not working. We just went dress shopping for 4 hours yesterday, and she vetoed any off the rack dress that we wanted (even though she said we could pick any little black dress to wear). She wants us to all wear something that SHE likes, but feels unflattering and uncomfortable.
I am starting a new semester in school, a new job, and planning my own wedding for september. I won't have time for this if it is going to be like this. She also expects us to spend most of our time in vegas hanging out with her and her family at the house they rented. To me,this is our vacation $ and time, and we were planning on attending the wedding and spending the rest of the time enjoying ourselves. I know I will be angry and resentful if I spend almost $1000 with dress, shoes, and travel costs and don't get a chance to relax.
Also, it feels like she just askes us because she realized that her bridesmaid and daughter are useless, and she wants us to take care of their slack.
So question: I need to tell her that I would love to help her plan and be there to support her, but I can't be a bridesmaid because I can't give her what she wants. She wants the whole bridal princess for a day experience where everyone waits on her, and I can't do that. How would you do that???
Ps - the other friend who was asked with me feels the same, and also wants to decline.
She got engaged last June, and picked her 3 bridesmaids (friends of hers) and maid of honor (20 year old daughter). Since then, the wedding has changed from a local event to the Las Vegas destination, and 2 bridesmaids aren't going to vegas. They have done nothing to help her get ready for the wedding or plan.
As it is now 6 weeks from the wedding, my friend and I (the 2/3 of out trio) realized that nothing has been done to plan a bridal shower or stagette party for her by anyone. So we jumped into action and got this thing going. The next day at coffee, she asked us both to be her bridesmaids. We said yes without thinking, because we have been already helping and are going to the vegas wedding.
It is not working. We just went dress shopping for 4 hours yesterday, and she vetoed any off the rack dress that we wanted (even though she said we could pick any little black dress to wear). She wants us to all wear something that SHE likes, but feels unflattering and uncomfortable.
I am starting a new semester in school, a new job, and planning my own wedding for september. I won't have time for this if it is going to be like this. She also expects us to spend most of our time in vegas hanging out with her and her family at the house they rented. To me,this is our vacation $ and time, and we were planning on attending the wedding and spending the rest of the time enjoying ourselves. I know I will be angry and resentful if I spend almost $1000 with dress, shoes, and travel costs and don't get a chance to relax.
Also, it feels like she just askes us because she realized that her bridesmaid and daughter are useless, and she wants us to take care of their slack.
So question: I need to tell her that I would love to help her plan and be there to support her, but I can't be a bridesmaid because I can't give her what she wants. She wants the whole bridal princess for a day experience where everyone waits on her, and I can't do that. How would you do that???
Ps - the other friend who was asked with me feels the same, and also wants to decline.